[TXguy]

I believe that women stop wanting sex because the desire goes away for the man. Desire disappears when the woman ceases to view her man as a High Value Male. In other words, she loses all respect for him, in all likelihood because he acts like our culture tells him to act - like a woman but with a penis.

One common myth is that desire can somehow be negotiated, like buying a car. No sex? Empty the dishwasher more. Help her with the laundry. Go to counseling and work out a deal. Do you REALLY want sex from someone because they have agreed to it as part of a deal? Screw that!

Were you helping her with the laundry back in college when she wanted to hump your brains out? Did you negotiate a deal when she let you remove her panties with your teeth? Didn’t think so!

We don’t have sex any more, most likely because I don’t desire my wife and she doesn’t desire me. But I’ll be ****ed if I would ever have sex with her because she felt obligated, or somehow felt sorry for me. That would be worse honestly than hiring a two-bit *****.

[TXguy]

We’ve been married 29 years. Part of it is that men are very visually oriented, and a 50 year old’s body isn’t quite the same as an early 20s hard body. That’s not being critical, just the facts. I’m sure she probably feels the same.

[muffin70]

We’ve been married 29 years. Part of it is that men are very visually oriented, and a 50 year old’s body isn’t quite the same as an early 20s hard body. That’s not being critical, just the facts. I’m sure she probably feels the same.

well my wife is 50 and her body may not be what it was 19 years ago when we met, but I still love it and still want to pleasure it as often as she will let me

[atskitty2]

This is one reason it's not a good idea to build a relationship on an image, or attraction only. There has to be something to sustain us when things change.

[TXguy]

That’s correct, because if the relationship is based upon desire, desire eventually fades. That is when many divorce. We commited not to divorce out of respect for ourselves, one another, our kids, and their future kids.

So while there may be little to no sex, we still have love and mutual respect. We took our vows seriously.

[atskitty2]

And that's to be commended TX, but what I hope for is happiness and fulfillment, not just to stay married.

To just NOT divorce is not my objective. I hope to build a relationship that's mutually fulfilling on many levels. While there will always be something that falls shy, I think finding peace and a stable, loving relationship that brings something to my life is the point. And as I am learning lately, I have so much I want to give. It is finding the person that wants what I have to give. Loving for me is giving a lot.

[Texasred]

And that's to be commended TX, but what I hope for is happiness and fulfillment, not just to stay married.

To just NOT divorce is not my objective. I hope to build a relationship that's mutually fulfilling on many levels.

That is SO true! What a sad relationship, defined by the negative, not the positive, by the commitment to not divorce, not by a commitment to a marriage.
And of course even the Bible makes it clear that marriage is much more than just a piece of paper, it is relations between a man and a woman, in every sense of the word.

I do think, though, that hormonal imbalances may be the cause of a large percentage of cases of loss of desire, in some cases due to the aging process, while in others, ironically, due to the very drugs taken to allow lovemaking without fear of pregnancy! For men as well: I found myself with a generally blah attitude and a definite lack of libido, very little interest in sex a number of years ago. It was a blessing at the time, since my wife had a benign tumor of some sort (I forget the name) that made piv sex very uncomfortable, even painful, and she refused to acknowledge that there were alternatives for us, even though while dating we'd often pleased each other orally. (Quick question: What does a woman say to let you know you've had your last bj? Asswer: "I do!") The alternative her doctor recommended to remove the growth involved a hysterectomy, a major operation and one with its own set of undesirable consequences; I told her that I could not ask her to do that, to have a major operation just so we could have sex again. Selfish is one thing, but that would really take the cake...
Anyway, when my doctor tested me and began treating my low-T condition, my interest returned almost immediately! Interest in everything, and especially in sex! My wife noticed it, and demanded I stop taking the testosterone medication!

[atskitty2]

Hormones are amazing things aren't they? Everything on Earth is math and chemicals...lol

[Texasred]

And my original college majors were math and chemistry!
Not that that worked out so well...
I ended up a mechanical engineer with a second major in math, at a different school.

[Texasred]

And in 6 years of college, i had not one engineering class with women, three math classes, two electives and three "basic" classes where there were women students! Eight classes total, on the quarter system!
I graduated with virtually no experience in talking to a member of the opposing sex!