[C]

I am going to add one more thing before I am out of here.....So many women have faked vagainal intercourse orgasm's for so many years that when by chance they happen to find one for the first time, they explode...It is learning to let yourself free.....I agree that she is probably faking it.....Her pleasure is still herself....As I have said before, a woman can become her own greatest lover, and this is OK but given time and being desperately in love will find her way to let a man into her private place of bliss....Now if I don't go and get dressed I will have no more bliss for a while...And today has been bliss....TC, C

[Little]

In the last 7 nights I have woken up to her masturbating, even multiple times in the same night. Sometimes after passing up sex. The first couple times I thought it was sexy and just went back to sleep but now it is beginning to bother me. I'm not really sure why it bothers me but it gives me a sick feeling for some reason. She doesn't know that I know. I just lay there till I fall back asleep, if i can.

I just call it like I see it.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Funny how different these responses are than a question about a man masturbating in bed and passing up sex. They're thoughtful and bring up important questions.
The bottom line seems to be communication. If she won't talk about it, what can you do? It's frustrating, I know. Good luck in resolving.

I was thinking the exact same thing, but I've sort of given up on calling hypocracy around here haha. I suppose I can't really complain about the sexism that's quite rife around here, as men are just as (if not more) sexist, without meaning to be.

I suppose on this subject I would just say - praise god, or allah, or whatever (religious implications aside) that your woman is a sexual creature! At least you're having a lot of sex. Just help her out, try your best to match her sexual needs, and make sure that she is fully satiated after your sessions.

[Uneeklyme]

Funny how different these responses are than a question about a man masturbating in bed and passing up sex. They're thoughtful and bring up important questions.
The bottom line seems to be communication. If she won't talk about it, what can you do? It's frustrating, I know. Good luck in resolving.

I personally would have been a bit more harsh if it were a man. My experience... a man gets one shot and has to recoup for a while. If he is blowing it on masturbation, I would be pretty upset. My advice would be no different, join in, talk to your partner and such. Whats good for the goose n all.

[C]

I just call it like I see it.

I did not see that part of the original post....BUT I will say one thing and that is I would always hesitate at having my husband watch me masturbate......My problem being...He would see one hotter than heck woman moaning and moving with the movements of a woman in the deepest passion possible.....In my opinion, women have many different orgasm's.......One of the nicest is being their own lover......Yet saying this the man is the same way....He knows how to stimulate himself and does it with the expertise of an artist but the two must meet......She must learn to find that place within to give him that hidden treasure............And he must have the patience of a saint....

Just my thoughts...

[rcoreyus]

He may only have one "shot" with that particular "weapon", but he still has fingers, a tongue, toes available. And some men do have exta ammo.

But in any case, if someone is masturbating RATHER than having sex with their partner, I think that is a problem. If they are masturbating in ADDITION to having sex with their partner - no problem.

In this case it is possible the woman has been faking. Note to all women PLEASE DON"T DO THAT! Men are not born knowing how to please a woman, and how she reacts when pleased. You've got to provide feedback or he can never be a good lover.

In my case, I dont THINK, my wife fakes it - but I wouldn't know. I've only been with one other woman in my life (yes it was before we got married), so I really don't have any way to tell for sure.

I personally would have been a bit more harsh if it were a man. My experience... a man gets one shot and has to recoup for a while. If he is blowing it on masturbation, I would be pretty upset. My advice would be no different, join in, talk to your partner and such. Whats good for the goose n all.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Mmmm...

So, is that a suggestion there?

"We have sex at least 5 times a week"

Now she is masterbating when she thinks he's sleeping - and passes up sex...

So, is there something missing there like sex is sex, but the orgasms and feelings are better when she does them herself.

So, how much foreplay is being conducted before hand?

It may very well be that she will not tell you, if the above applies, even if you do talk about everything else..

How easy is it for a woman to say to their guy, well i love sex with you but as a woman we have great orgasms from all areas and i um am not getting that um... so i'm doing it myself and it feels good?

CW

[C]

Mmmm...

So, is that a suggestion there?

"We have sex at least 5 times a week"

Now she is masterbating when she thinks he's sleeping - and passes up sex...

So, is there something missing there like sex is sex, but the orgasms and feelings are better when she does them herself.

So, how much foreplay is being conducted before hand?

It may very well be that she will not tell you, if the above applies, even if you do talk about everything else..

How easy is it for a woman to say to their guy, well i love sex with you but as a woman we have great orgasms from all areas and i um am not getting that um... so i'm doing it myself and it feels good?

CW

Their is no comparison between the two orgasm's that a woman can have...My husband can drive me wild and just touch me and I am a juicy mess but when I have Eric I go to another place in time...A hot and more erotic orgasm where who and what I am making love to or with is the subject....I could be anywhere or doing anything...When I am with him he is the lover and I get in touch with him and his touch and tongue and eventually his tool of love...She is not wrong.....No orgasm that a woman has is wrong...She may not want him because she wants herself...It has nothing to do with him at all...

For a while I could not masturbate if I thought we were going to have sex...I watched myself so that I would be extra hot for my husband...Now it makes no difference for I will orgasm every time...It was finding this part of myself and letting it loose...She could possibly be afraid that if she gives it to him that she cannot find it herself and she enjoys this...I believe as she ages that she will know her body more than she now does but I am just talking of my sexuality as an example.....But I also believe that I am what many women are only have just developed more in knowing my own sexuality...Being with a man that I adore and being as sexual as we are, I have been able to find these wonderful places in lust and grow and learn from my own self....

I am sure I have confused all of you but so goes life....Again, just my thoughts...C

[j.rose]

Perhaps she has sexsomnia which is a sleeping disorder. Ask her about it maybe she doesn't realize what she is doing. I have this disorder and I get quite embarrassed about it. My husband says that I will go on for about an hour talking and masterbating in my sleep. I will even get up and have a smoke when I'm done. I don't remember a thing when I am awake and he's filled me in on the details. I usually don't want to hear it even if it's funny. I found I usually do this shortly after I have had sex with my husband, or on very stressful days so my husband says. But perhaps she is doing it while she is awake I can't tell you unless you ask her.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yeah i'm confused...........not.

Caroline
When I am with him he is the lover and I get in touch with him and his touch and tongue and eventually his tool of love...She is not wrong.....No orgasm that a woman has is wrong...She may not want him because she wants herself...It has nothing to do with him at all...

That's the point i'm making, maybe he isn't doing all that.

No, she is not wrong in the sense of wanting to experience herself...

But:-

She is in bed with him, next to him, he is supposidly asleep, and she's not giving it up anymore.

If she was doing it, when he wasn't around, or before sex, and still having sexual intercourse with him, sure....

Why though, next to him, quietly, and no sex?

That bit has got me ...

CW