Believable?

[WaveRider]

I've been spending more time with my ex-g/f. She's talking reverting to committed and exclusive relationship and eventual marriage. I'm considering it, but I'm 90% sure the marriage part won't happen.

Trust is a major issue. She has been traumatized by an all-too-common CA fiasco divorce where everyone makes money except the divorcing couple. I have caught her in lies. In fact, she's a horrible liar. She has to take antidepressants to balance her. They make her loopy. Sometimes she's not really lying. She believed what she has told me even though I knew it was false.

She has a very high sex drive. I've teased her that a dude would be naive to want to do her along with another woman when she'd exhaust him before he could get busy on woman number two. On Friday, she brought up doing two dudes again. I blew it off. She is one horny woman with an insatiable sex drive.

She's always been insatiably horny. She used to be promiscuous. Were I pushed into guessing, I'd guess she's had sex with 30 men, maybe more. She has always loved sex, and she has always loved being naked around men. She is a muted exhibitionist. From what she has told me, it wouldn't be difficult to infer that she's participated in threesomes and possibly an orgy or two. She was very sexually active during her college years. She is submissive when it comes to sex. She has proudly told me that she has always been able to get men off.

Since we've terminated our exclusive relationship years ago, she has gone on many dates. She has sworn up & down to me that I'm the only one whom she has had sex since we began dating. I want to believe her. However, after thinking about it, I have doubts. She has told me that sex has always been easy for her, and so has getting naked in front of men, which she loves.

Last Friday, while driving her home, I told her that I was going to consider reuniting with her in an exclusive relationship. I also told her to not turn down opportunities while I'm considering.

After giving a lot of though to her telling me that she hasn't done anyone but me in years, I'm fairly certain she's lying. After three glasses of wine, she's taking off her clothes.

She's told me while she was in college she had one one-nighter. I can understand her lying if she had more than one, and my guess is she has had more than one. BTW, she has told me that blow jobs don't count as having sex. She didn't elaborate & I didn't ask. But I was able to figure out what she meant.

What do you think? Has she been sexually active with her dates, none of which has lasted more than a few? My guess is she has.

[WaveRider]

I forgot: at a Memorial Day Weekend party, she brought up having an orgy. She was well past looped.

[Ashlee T.]

Hmmmm..........

Well, I guess the part I get hung up on is if you all have been in an open relationship, why does it matter if she has slept with anyone else? Did you all have some sort of agreement to disclose other sexual partners? Have you slept with anyone else? Have you told her that you have slept with other women?

It seems a bit like the "how many people have you been with before me" discussion, which I think is just a precursor to jealousy and unnecessary fighting.

[Texasred]

WR, my guess is that you're way more into her than she is into you.
If I had one piece of advice for you, it would be in two parts: a) Find someone else; and
b) Never EVER mention your ex-gf to her!
NEVER!

[WaveRider]

Hi Texasred,

Nope. I ain't. She's far more in to me. When she sees that I'm on the move, she runs back.

She is the best sex I've ever had. But when were outta bed, she has devaluing issues. Her elitist attitude is extremely annoying. To her credit, she is trying to mitigate it. She's even talking about getting a job. Who woulda thunk it???

I'm suspicious of her because she's always bringing up that she hasn't done anyone but me since I've begun banging her. If she hasn't, why does she bring it up? I don't bring up any dates I've had.

She has told me that sex has always been easy for her, and she has had sex w/o emotional attachment (FWB sex, except I don't think they were her friends). She was always horny, extremely good looking, and had a hard, sexy body that she loved to reveal. Hence, she's had a lotta takers. She divorced the first time in her early 30's. She had two kids and was extraordinarily horny, as in 24/7/365. She ended up banging a dude who was helping her with a personal issue. She feigned reasons to call him over, she'd answer her door in her see-through underwear, yank him in her bedroom, and they'd bang their brains out. When she was done with his professional services, she cut off their sex services.

In the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time helping her resolve crises. If you want to test a woman's character, give her adversity. She's learning to resolve adversity with more honorable choices. Removing innate character flaws that she's revealed when resolving adversity might not be possible, since were all hardwired to revert to our primal instincts. Her primal instincts are not enviable. But she does love sex ;-)