Zero sex drive

[Trotting-Pony]

30yr female here. Sex drive has flown out the window the last few years and is starting to drive husband out the same window...

Simply have no interest. Masturbation interest is also near zero.

Quit OTC sleeping pills and all caffeine in the last year.

I'm always tired if I'm in the house, can't remember things, near zero motivation to do normal things and have hair thinning. If I'm out of the house all day, I'm much happier and active, soon after being home, things go south. But that's not good enough proof for husband and it doesn't always mean a hotel stay will make me interested in sex. Timing my cycle plays a role in it.

Looking over the timeline, at first, I thought it was just because I'm no longer a horny teen/young adult, it's no longer new to me. But the lack of interest is very excessive. Had me wondering if mold might be playing a role. Second rental house had some black mold and that's the place interest started waning. Bought our own house, tons of issues with it, mold being a big one. Its everywhere.

If mold is the cause, husband would probably need a doctor confirming it, then he may do something to get the mold fixed....

But maybe there are other causes to consider?
Pretty sure I've always had some degree of depression since puberty hit. I haven't gone to a dr to find out and the side effects aren't worth it. Being out and about helps my mood cheer up.

Anyway, are there any other possible causes? What do I ask a dr to check if I think mold is the cause? Does anyone know of a massive and active female health forum?

Thanks.

[atskitty2]

Hello there!
Welcome, and thanks for stopping by! Our little site is in the throws of a renovation so, it's quiet now but you'll likely have a few worthwhile responses.

If there's a known mold issue, that's huge. Your sexual function is only one thing of concern with a mold problem. Are you working on getting the mold removed?
If you see a good physician, they will know what to do. First is to get rid of the problem! Or move.

Also, your thyroid, autoimmune disorders, or other problems could be at play here. Possibly affected by the mold, or not. Your hormones need checked also.
You need a thorough work up by a knowledgeable medical professional to get the help you need, as far as piecing this puzzle together and getting appropriate treatment. The mold could be a red herring... make sure you are thoroughly evaluated, and give a complete record of your symptoms and abnormalities.

I'd encourage you to read all you can about mold, to understand how dangerous it can be. Not for the purpose of self diagnosis, but to know what you are dealing with. Has the type of mold been identified?

And I encourage you to be patient. These things take time. All medical providers are not equal, and your case may be tricky, so find a good doc. This is not something to find complete answers for on the internet. We can give directions and support, but testing will be necessary to rule out things, and that can be done and evaluated only by a medical professional.

[Ashlee T.]

Hey! Thanks for joining us!

I'm no doctor but it sounds like a thyroid or other hormonal issue.

-See an endocrinologist for a full thyroid check. A basic check can sometimes prove to be rather useless. They might say normal range is between 2 and 6 and if you're anywhere within that range, you're normal. But what if normal for you is 5 (and you don't know that) and you test at a 3. You're still low for YOU in that case, but the doctor will see you as "normal". Also, get a full hormone check done.

-Mold is very unhealthy. Everyone is allergic to black mold. Other molds, while maybe not AS severe as black mold, can be just as bad for someone who is allergic. I was highly allergic to certain molds (before 6 years of allergy shots. )and I would've been sick constantly if living in a place with it. Are you often sick? Headaches, sinus infections, etc? If I thought mold was my issue, I'd take matters into my own hands and get mold levels checked by a professional.

-Do you use any form of birth control?

-How are things in your marriage otherwise? In other words, if your sex drive was fine, would your marriage be in good shape?

It's a tough topic and I know how emotionally taxing it can get. I've been there and when I was, I felt so pressured by my partner (at the time) and the more pressure I felt, the less I wanted to have sex. While I was on hormonal birth control, I honestly could've cared less about sex. I figured I'd be happy to be a nun and never have sex again for the rest of my life. Fortunately, all that changed once I got my hormones straightened out.

I've also learned that my sex drive is also very tied to my emotions. If I'm with someone I'm not happy with, or if I'm feeling unloved, disrespected, etc then I simply don't want sex.

-Massive an active forum question? Well, we used to be and are well on our way there again. As kitty mentioned, we're currently undergoing a full reconstruction and since I've gotten some sneak peeks, I can tell you it's going to be AWESOME. We're expecting to launch in the next month or so and hope you'll stick around to see it.

[Trotting-Pony]

ignore this oppsie

[Trotting-Pony]

Glad to hear the forum will perk up. Facebook has ruined a lot of forums, but this type of stuff really shouldn't be in a FB group, even if its a closed one!

To fix it, we'd have to trench the hill and driveway to divert water away, then have a new driveway put in. Once that's done, dig up the foundation, fix one big hole/crack and then waterproof it all the way around. Big money we don't have. Would of been smarter to move and take the possible loss in sale...But that won't happen. IDK, hoping if the doctor does blame it on mold, DH will get his butt in gear and we can fix it.

No idea on type of mold, there are different types, as far as I can see.

I'll look for an endocrinologist, do you need a referral for one or can get an appointment without it?

Stuffy and runny nose most of the time, never a problem at previous homes or when I'm outside for hours. I don't get sick easily nor often, probably just 5 times in my life and its usually caused by DH bringing home a bug from work. Though, I tend to get over those faster than he or its not as bad.

No birth control, no drugs of any sort. No kids either, the very thought of them is enough deterrent for me!

I don't think there's anything else to cause issues in the marriage.

[atskitty2]

You should start with your GP, really, and let them send you on to the specialist best suited for you. A visit to your gynecologist is also in order, if you haven't already. They can send out baseline labs, and have the ball rolling. In many areas, you may be months waiting to see a specialist, including allergists and endocrinologists. If you get started with your GP and gyno, you'll get a little ahead, and possibly get some relief before full answers are found.

You'll need to call someone in to identify the mold. There are folks who do that, just google it for your area. If you've done enough research to know how to get rid of it, as you said, I expect you have contact info to find out what type of mold that is. And I hope you've also considered a more short term solution, rather than the major construction you've said...it could be they could improve the existing situation inside, temporarily, before eliminating the source of moisture, via the major construction. Hope that makes sense.

But it's important first to determine what is causing the issues...at this point, you don't know for sure it's mold, right? It seems a strong possibility, but speak to your doc for guidance.