[gandsnut]

63yo M here... My former wife and I have re-kindled our relationship after many years apart. She's also 63yo. No children came of our 5y marriage in the 80's, and she's essentially been celibate since. She's perhaps 220lbs for 5'7".

I'd love to share oral sex with her, but when I separate her outer lips, her inner lips, vagina, clitoris are still hidden more deeply inwards. I try to open her as gently as possible. I know things are there, because she's helped me explore herself with verbal cues, with my finger.

Yes, it would seem that separating her outer lips _more_ would be so obvious, but I certainly don't want to cause pain/discomfort to her.

Then the question changes to, how might I keep her open so I might stimulate her orally?

Given our chats about our sex life during being married, we can't recall any difficulty with oral sex, though we might have not practiced that
much oral sex in the first place.

Thx much.

[Ashlee T.]

This will be a difficult one for anyone to answer. While the female body is universally the same in many way, it is also unique to the individual! Your wife is the best person to tell you what works for her and what doesn't. Just let her know to please communicate with you openly if you EVER do anything that causes her discomfort.

[gandsnut]

This will be a difficult one for anyone to answer.

Yep, after posting and having some time to actually think about it, your feedback confirms pretty much the answer. We're already communicating on a level neither of us thought possible. I appreciate your diplomacy. Really, feel free to remove this thread.

[Ashlee T.]

That's super awesome. And congrats on your lovely reunion.

[Claret]

As women age their genitals go through changes and actually can shrink. As we lose the adipose tissue (the fatty layer just under our skin) things seem to shrink. - This is just as a general rule not cast in concrete. Menopause also causes structural changes with the lack of hormones plumping things up. Perhaps a hormone cream with a little estrogen may help. Although, at 63 I'm not sure she'd welcome her periods restarting.

There are also physical conditions Lichen Sclerosis et Atrophicus that can altar the architecture of women. You may want to look this up and see if it matches your description of what's happened.