[monies1210]

I hope the disrespectful comment was not directed at me because I wasnt trying to be

Jonny, all I really think you need to do is just get some self confidence. You seem to be putting yourself down A LOT. I am pretty sure your not as bad as you think you are, everyone is good at something; some more things than others. Just look into it.

Anon, I am pretty sure you didn't mean rape just the thought of manipulating a woman didn't come off right.

Back to the man of the thread...... I kinda agree with Anon. How do you expect to meet new women if you don't get out. Now I am def not saying you need to go to a drinking only bar and get wasted, I am not even saying you need to drink, just try going to a club or party and dance or even sit on a bar stool and talk to women who come to the bar. If you don't wanna drink fill your cup with ginger ale or sprite or something...not everyone HAS to drink at a bar, some females will be there to just enjoy them self. Hell make it a guys night out or something and please don't tell me you can't dance because you can catch onto how to do that once at the club. Trust me with a little self confidence and following the sensible advice here you will be able to find a nice, sweet lady who will accept you for you.

[jonny]

Jonny, all I really think you need to do is just get some self confidence. You seem to be putting yourself down A LOT. I am pretty sure your not as bad as you think you are, everyone is good at something; some more things than others. Just look into it.

I get what you mean, but I have no idea what I am good at.

How do you expect to meet new women if you don't get out. Now I am def not saying you need to go to a drinking only bar and get wasted, I am not even saying you need to drink, just try going to a club or party and dance or even sit on a bar stool and talk to women who come to the bar. If you don't wanna drink fill your cup with ginger ale or sprite or something...not everyone HAS to drink at a bar, some females will be there to just enjoy them self. Hell make it a guys night out or something and please don't tell me you can't dance because you can catch onto how to do that once at the club. Trust me with a little self confidence and following the sensible advice here you will be able to find a nice, sweet lady who will accept you for you.

I have been to a club once. And the darkness along with the sudden flashing lights felt like a sezure waiting to happen.

The dancing part. Of course anyone can move. But I don't want to be embaressed.

I hated everything about it. The crappy music, flashing lights, the drunk people. I felt like some sort of monkey in a cage staring at people outside of it.


The only places I ever go that have alot of people at them are baseball and baskettball games. And all the females there seem to be with guys.

That and i'm not tryin to sound like someone who is a whineing or anything. It's just sorta how i see things.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Well, you are whining.

Basketball and Baseball - of course women won't be single there, because THEY DON'T LIKE IT, they just go because their men do. What you need to do is go to places where there are unattached ladies, and that falls down to pubs and clubs, unfortunately. You can't be that timid that you think a club is a seizure waiting to happen, you're just scared to get involved. A bit of alcohol will smooth the wheels of your fear, dutch courage, they call it.

I admit in a lot of clubs the music is , I only really like certain nieches like minimal techno and trance - however, I can still enjoy a club if the music sucks, just watch the ladies, dance with a few, chat some up, whatever. I mean that's the reason to go there, not to appreciate the music and crappy light set up.

Just get over yourself, and do what has to be done.... (this is really reminding me of this Texan guy I knew on the internet who I was trying to help get women and have a good time, he just never could go out, get drunk and have fun. Too bad for him, he stayed single for a few more years, then started learning PUA and wound up with a fat christian girlfriend who he felt like he "had to" love, because nobody else liked him. It's not too late for you!

[jonny]

A bit of alcohol will smooth the wheels of your fear, dutch courage, they call it.

No thanx. I won't do something that causes me to lose control of my senses.

That and again, it tastes awful.

I admit in a lot of clubs the music is , I only really like certain nieches like minimal techno and trance - however, I can still enjoy a club if the music sucks, just watch the ladies, dance with a few, chat some up, whatever. I mean that's the reason to go there, not to appreciate the music and crappy light set up.

The club thing sucked. I tried to dance with a chick. But a dude twice my size more or less got in between me and the girl, and took her attention away.

So I realized it is also full of jackasses too.

I stayed in the place for about an hour. Couldn't take it anymore. The fake music pumping through the speakers made me wanna go play in traffic.

[Little]

I can't imagine clubs in Memphis being very nice. Have you tried going to other cities? Jackson? I know it seems small, but there are some cool places there. In Nashville, Graham Central Station is a really nice club, different floors with different kinds of music and not too flashy, actually the only one I've been to there. Knoxville is a rocking city in general, with lots of young people, but really far away just for a night.
Branch out. You're in the middle of the bible belt; there are plenty of women your age who wouldn't mind being with a virgin. Have you tried going to a church to enlarge your social circle? Even if you're not that religious, it allows you to meet new people.
(And if that seems hypocritical, it's only about as bad as what Anon's suggesting.)

[jonny]

Have you tried going to other cities?

I've never really traveled. And i'm not very good with directions.

Jackson? I know it seems small, but there are some cool places there. In Nashville, Graham Central Station is a really nice club, different floors with different kinds of music and not too flashy, actually the only one I've been to there. Knoxville is a rocking city in general, with lots of young people, but really far away just for a night.

With my lack of cash, and the fact that gas prices are insane, that seems out of the picture.

Branch out. You're in the middle of the bible belt; there are plenty of women your age who wouldn't mind being with a virgin. Have you tried going to a church to enlarge your social circle? Even if you're not that religious, it allows you to meet new people.
(And if that seems hypocritical, it's only about as bad as what Anon's suggesting.)

It may be the bible belt. But this place is full of freaks. Very well experienced freaks that seem to expect alot from a person.

I Haven't been to church in a good 8 years. The last time I went it was full of old people.

I guess internet dating is the new thing to do nowadays. I've tried it some. But it's like finding a needle in a haystack.

Maybe I should try a library? lol

I need a place with cute girls and lowered expectations.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

It seems to me that you're looking for reasons to shoot down everyones offers of advice, because you're too scared/uncomfortable to see them through. That and the fact that you're overall a very negative person at the moment. It's very easy to notice the rubbish in life, it's all around us, it's a bit more of a refined skill noticing the fun, and the beauty.

Internet dating might work, but it seems as if you're a little in the middle of nowhere, I think it only really works in very dense population areas (if you actually want a chance to meet any of them). Since I lived in London I thought it would be an idea to try internet dating, but from the pictures I've been sent I haven't been too impressed - as women who can't find a man generally have a reason, since all they have to do is sit around and men will come.

Libraries are an okay place to meet people, and those trendy book shops which sell coffee too.. But remember to take aboard all the other advice, no matter where you go, if you don't believe in yourself and you're worth - why should a woman?

Going to the church might very well get you a girlfriend, probably one that won't submit to sex before marriage, and then you'll find out she's totally frigid and not worth it anyways. Obviously I'm jumping to conclusions there.

Anyway, if you're that desperate and you find some money, you could always go to Japan, the girls there get their horn on for anyone western, it's all mysterious and interesting for them. And the obvious language barrier means that you could just talk rubbish and none of them would notice anyway, they can just assume that you're being profound.

[Little]

I know Memphis; I know what kind of people live there. Try Cordova. Try Germantown. Try Millington. They're not far away. Maybe there aren't clubs there, but there are, like Anon said, coffeeshops. Trendy ones. Pick up an Oprah book club book and the cheapest cup of coffee, if price is the issue. Sit ... read ... smile.
I think Anon is right; you're shooting down all of our solutions. Don't be so scared. Buck up and give some of the harmless things we've said a try.

[jonny]

I know Memphis; I know what kind of people live there. Try Cordova. Try Germantown. Try Millington. They're not far away. Maybe there aren't clubs there, but there are, like Anon said, coffeeshops. Trendy ones. Pick up an Oprah book club book and the cheapest cup of coffee, if price is the issue. Sit ... read ... smile.
I think Anon is right; you're shooting down all of our solutions. Don't be so scared. Buck up and give some of the harmless things we've said a try.

Barnes and Noble would be a good place to go.

I'm not a coffee person. But a bookstore could be a good place to go.

Females go there. And I don't have to dance for them. lmao!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Jonny,

What's stopping you from packing your bags, driving your car to a new destination, locating a new pad, job, somewhere where you can get out there and enjoy things you like..


Can i ask?
What do you like?
For instance:-
What is your favourite colour?
What type of work would you do if you could?
What's your favourite sport?
Do you have hobbies?


See, if you don't know yourself, hard for others to know you...

I've been reading all the things you don't like, then it occured to me what does he like?

If you think outside the square at the "passions" in your life, instead of what you don't like and concentrate on those, then something has to give?

Also, Internet dating is fun and can work, i'm proof, and it can also be a sure bet on getting dates, they may fail but the more you have the more you understand the process, look at it as "learning".

You like the internet, so why not start googling, self esteme, how to attract a woman, all those types of headings and read, re-read, and re-read, what you don't know, you can only know for either experience, or learning... no point sitting back and complaining, seek....

CW