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  • About spanking and what to do next...

    Hello everyone, i discovered your great forum while scouring the internet in search of an answer to a very particular question.

    I’ll introduce myself and my situation a bit. I’m a 30 years old man with a wife and a good life. We’ve been together for a few years and i do everything in my power to make my other half happy. That’s part of my problem, we’ll get to that. We have a very active sex life and i’m what you might call a « giver ». Not sure if the term is really attached to something or not but here it is. We have sex nearly every single day and i strive to give my wife an orgasm almost everytime. My favorite thing is to give oral sex. I believe i could do it for hours if only she’d last that long.

    Anyway, the point is, i get my pleasure from hers, almost exclusively. I wouldn’t know how to best express this other than giving a simple example : Blowjobs are boring to me if she doesn’t overplay her own satisfaction.
    That’s where my problem starts, my wife got fed up about not being able to give back. Of course she knows how i work, she knows i’m happy and that the whole giving back is false but she wanted to give ME something. She asked me to find a kink or whatever that she could use to please me. It took month for me to find the thing, but i did : Spanking!

    I love her bottom half, from her hips to her toes and i’m crazy about her buttocks. So i asked to spank her and it worked and it became our new thing for when she wants me to be selfish. She’ll sometimes wear some lingerie that highlight her buttocks and start seduce me, and wow i love my wife.

    Now to the real thing, the aftermatch. I spank her until the pain starts setting in, we’re not big into pain/sex so when she starts hurting a bit too much, i stop. By this point i am so excited my penis actually hurts. I really don’t know about other men but for me, in this state, thinking becomes quite a challenge. So when it’s time to make me come there’s only one thing in my mind : Anal.

    Which is not always ok, because it takes preparation, a specific mood, etc etc. It’s fine but when i understand that i need to do something else, i’m properly unable to think for myself and go back to the « What would you like ? » that we don’t want in this situation.
    And here’s my question, to all the ladies (and men on the receiving end) who likes spanking, what do you like next ? I need a simple guideline so that i may act without breaking the mood ahah.

    I’ve got a few suggestions but i’m open to every ideas, so, from your perspective what would you think ?

    1. That’s it, i’m done, my back hurts and i’d just like to slip in my PJ’s. (That would translate into me masturbating and probably ejaculating on her.)

    2. Doggystyle ! Spanking is a submissive thing so why not finish the same way ?

    3. Cowgirl/woman on top. I’ve got you all excited and this is my doing, i get to take you to the finish line.

    All of the above are fine, no preferred order or anything, i just need an automatic follow up that i know will please her without my asking, i'll just go by statistics based on your answers ahah.
    Thank you for reading,

    Seb.

  • Originally posted by Seb View Post
    Hello everyone, i discovered your great forum while scouring the internet in search of an answer to a very particular question.

    I’ll introduce myself and my situation a bit. I’m a 30 years old man with a wife and a good life. We’ve been together for a few years and i do everything in my power to make my other half happy. That’s part of my problem, we’ll get to that. We have a very active sex life and i’m what you might call a « giver ». Not sure if the term is really attached to something or not but here it is. We have sex nearly every single day and i strive to give my wife an orgasm almost everytime. My favorite thing is to give oral sex. I believe i could do it for hours if only she’d last that long.

    Anyway, the point is, i get my pleasure from hers, almost exclusively. I wouldn’t know how to best express this other than giving a simple example : Blowjobs are boring to me if she doesn’t overplay her own satisfaction.
    That’s where my problem starts, my wife got fed up about not being able to give back. Of course she knows how i work, she knows i’m happy and that the whole giving back is false but she wanted to give ME something. She asked me to find a kink or whatever that she could use to please me. It took month for me to find the thing, but i did : Spanking!

    I love her bottom half, from her hips to her toes and i’m crazy about her buttocks. So i asked to spank her and it worked and it became our new thing for when she wants me to be selfish. She’ll sometimes wear some lingerie that highlight her buttocks and start seduce me, and wow i love my wife.

    Now to the real thing, the aftermatch. I spank her until the pain starts setting in, we’re not big into pain/sex so when she starts hurting a bit too much, i stop. By this point i am so excited my penis actually hurts. I really don’t know about other men but for me, in this state, thinking becomes quite a challenge. So when it’s time to make me come there’s only one thing in my mind : Anal.

    Which is not always ok, because it takes preparation, a specific mood, etc etc. It’s fine but when i understand that i need to do something else, i’m properly unable to think for myself and go back to the « What would you like ? » that we don’t want in this situation.
    And here’s my question, to all the ladies (and men on the receiving end) who likes spanking, what do you like next ? I need a simple guideline so that i may act without breaking the mood ahah.

    I’ve got a few suggestions but i’m open to every ideas, so, from your perspective what would you think ?

    1. That’s it, i’m done, my back hurts and i’d just like to slip in my PJ’s. (That would translate into me masturbating and probably ejaculating on her.)

    2. Doggystyle ! Spanking is a submissive thing so why not finish the same way ?

    3. Cowgirl/woman on top. I’ve got you all excited and this is my doing, i get to take you to the finish line.

    All of the above are fine, no preferred order or anything, i just need an automatic follow up that i know will please her without my asking, i'll just go by statistics based on your answers ahah.
    Thank you for reading,

    Seb.
    I see the whole as a mild dominant / submissive situation, so I would naturally tend toward 2. The question that you will have to ask your wife is what she wants and she may not have an answer for several times or her answer could change over time (or she could want you to choose). What have you done up to this time and what has been her reaction? If you are dominant, you will have to figure out how dominant you should be. BTW, I am a guy.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Seb View Post
      Hello everyone, i discovered your great forum while scouring the internet in search of an answer to a very particular question.

      I’ll introduce myself and my situation a bit. I’m a 30 years old man with a wife and a good life. We’ve been together for a few years and i do everything in my power to make my other half happy. That’s part of my problem, we’ll get to that. We have a very active sex life and i’m what you might call a « giver ». Not sure if the term is really attached to something or not but here it is. We have sex nearly every single day and i strive to give my wife an orgasm almost everytime. My favorite thing is to give oral sex. I believe i could do it for hours if only she’d last that long.

      Anyway, the point is, i get my pleasure from hers, almost exclusively. I wouldn’t know how to best express this other than giving a simple example : Blowjobs are boring to me if she doesn’t overplay her own satisfaction.
      That’s where my problem starts, my wife got fed up about not being able to give back. Of course she knows how i work, she knows i’m happy and that the whole giving back is false but she wanted to give ME something. She asked me to find a kink or whatever that she could use to please me. It took month for me to find the thing, but i did : Spanking!

      I love her bottom half, from her hips to her toes and i’m crazy about her buttocks. So i asked to spank her and it worked and it became our new thing for when she wants me to be selfish. She’ll sometimes wear some lingerie that highlight her buttocks and start seduce me, and wow i love my wife.

      Now to the real thing, the aftermatch. I spank her until the pain starts setting in, we’re not big into pain/sex so when she starts hurting a bit too much, i stop. By this point i am so excited my penis actually hurts. I really don’t know about other men but for me, in this state, thinking becomes quite a challenge. So when it’s time to make me come there’s only one thing in my mind : Anal.

      Which is not always ok, because it takes preparation, a specific mood, etc etc. It’s fine but when i understand that i need to do something else, i’m properly unable to think for myself and go back to the « What would you like ? » that we don’t want in this situation.
      And here’s my question, to all the ladies (and men on the receiving end) who likes spanking, what do you like next ? I need a simple guideline so that i may act without breaking the mood ahah.

      I’ve got a few suggestions but i’m open to every ideas, so, from your perspective what would you think ?

      1. That’s it, i’m done, my back hurts and i’d just like to slip in my PJ’s. (That would translate into me masturbating and probably ejaculating on her.)

      2. Doggystyle ! Spanking is a submissive thing so why not finish the same way ?

      3. Cowgirl/woman on top. I’ve got you all excited and this is my doing, i get to take you to the finish line.

      All of the above are fine, no preferred order or anything, i just need an automatic follow up that i know will please her without my asking, i'll just go by statistics based on your answers ahah.
      Thank you for reading,

      Seb.
      All of this sounds super sweet. You sounds like a really nice guy. I love external butt play, both giving and receiving. Obviously, as others said, you should probably just ask your wife what she would like to do next. Just curious: Would you like it if your wife spanked you? Maybe you could take turns doing this? (I love spanking a guy LOL.) But yes, I agree that all of this is arousing and can lead to other stuff. I am waiting for marriage for actual intercourse but have had things like this lead to stuff like hand-jobs, mutual masturbation, oral stuff, etc.

      Comment


      • Thank you both for your replies!
        This is definitely a very mild dominant thing for me, no questions here!

        And i'd love to agree with you and ask her, that's what i usually do but, in this situation, i'm forbidden to do so. That's part of the game for her, she wants me to do my thing, for myself, with her body. I guess i'm just not that creative ahah.

        That's why i went fishing for ideas, as a mean to ask without asking her directly.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Seb View Post
          Thank you both for your replies!
          This is definitely a very mild dominant thing for me, no questions here!

          And i'd love to agree with you and ask her, that's what i usually do but, in this situation, i'm forbidden to do so. That's part of the game for her, she wants me to do my thing, for myself, with her body. I guess i'm just not that creative ahah.

          That's why i went fishing for ideas, as a mean to ask without asking her directly.
          OK, now I understand how this works better. So since part of the game is for you to do what you want, then I guess the real question is, what do YOU want to do next?

          Comment


          • What a great topic! As to what comes next, that can depend on the vibe or any role-play that goes along with the spanking. Is it a play-punishment that forgives all play-transgressions? If so, the next activity might be something of the spankee's choosing. If not, maybe the spanker decides because they're still play-in-charge.

            Personally, I like sweet, vanilla missionary after a good spanking. But YMMV obviously.

            BTW, if I may be so bold, please consider adding a safe word to your play if you have not already done so. Just a good rule of thumb for any play that involves pain so there's never any confusion over what's being communicated.

            Comment


            • I totally agree with Wednesday L.F. about the safe word. Always set those boundaries well in advance so you have one less thing to worry about during playtime.

              I think one of the most instinctual moves after spanking is a good ole fashion doggy style session. Reach around and grab her for some light choking action (if she's open to that and if that does it for you). While you're at it, use your free hand to stimulate her clit at the same time.

              If you time it right before the pain part sets in, that's when you should take her from behind, that way you can get a few more spanks in while you're inside her at the same time but without it becoming painful for her. Plus, the doggy style penetration will likely have her distracted anyway.

              I love how dedicated you are to your wife's pleasure but also her encouragement of you and your satisfaction...if only more couples knew how to do this for the obvious mutually beneficial reasons!

              Comment


              • Seb thanks for a great topic! I think what is important here is that you listen to your wife's wishes!

                Her "wish" is that YOU do as YOU wish!

                So, don't overthink this -- go with your gut and your instincts.

                I've spanked many a woman, some harder than others and all enjoyed it, and I simply go with the flow...sometimes they want to continue with the rough play and be taken, sometimes they want to change positions and allow for some face to face and cuddling time, what is key is to notice her body language, posture and receptiveness.

                And here's a trick/key: If you are doing what YOU want, and are extremely excited and turned on, she will very well likely be totally into you doing WHATEVER you want to her (as others have said provided she has an out with a safe word, etc).

                Most of the women that I've been with, want the dominant partner or masculine energy to take hold -- they want to release, and not have to direct, think or be worried about their man enjoying himself. So don't add that into the equation.

                Do what you want and I bet 9 out of 10, she'll be perfectly fine with it because it is such a turn on to YOU that it, in turn, makes her extremely excited and happy to oblige too...as you've said, a lot of your time is spent on her pleasure -- take some for yourself, which if you think about it, is only fair!

                If you get so turned on by her pleasure, why can't she be turned on by yours, and why in turn, can't you take what you want?

                Comment


                • Hello everyone!

                  Apologies for the late answer, we actually took some time off work and computers, it's frightening to realize how stressful 2020 was and how internet dependent we became thanks to consecutive lockdowns.

                  So, getting back to our topic: Thank you SO much for all your answers. I'll try to address everything, starting with the safe word: I'll definitively listen to your suggestions and add one. The spankings started as a once a month thing and we are now closer to a once a week type of foreplay. Fetishisms are catchy things people!
                  I've yet to cross the line as far as pain is concerned but as we are getting more and more into it, we better start thinking ahead.

                  So far the spankee choosing is a no-no and so far i've mostly went with what Vanessa R. is describing. Minus the clit rubbing, i'm actually quite bad at it during doggystyle (i keep losing the right spot) so she does it herself. Chocking, i did that, but i have yet to figure out if i like it or not. It seems to be neutral on her side so i'll have to try it more on see where it goes.

                  Finally, JonnyR. Man you've hit the spot. She tells me almost exactly the same words. I'm getting better but i've yet to become (what i describe as) fully selfish in those moments. To be honest, what i almost always really want after the spankings is to go with anal penetration. We've done it quite a few time and this is so good that it almost always brings me to an orgasm. Not just ejaculation but true orgasm. This has obviously to do with my love for her buttocks and the mild dominant thing we have going on in this situation.

                  And just to add, for those of you who have yet to try those kind of dominant play, you should! Ours is very light and it already changes the dynamic during sex when we put it in place. You might have guessed from my questions that i usually am not the dominant force in bed and i can assure you slight submission is very fun too!

                  Comment

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