Women's Health Interactive Forums

  • Before signing up for our forum please read our rules.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Time is a Factor...or is it?

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Time is a Factor...or is it?

    As someone who takes medication regularly, I have times when it seems to take forever to climax. When this happens, I have apologized to my husband for "taking so long."
    He has always responded by telling me that needs no apology and that he's happy with whatever happens blah blah blah. I'm sure my need to apologize is related to some basic self-esteem issues and I try not to worry about it too much.

    Well...the roles were reversed recently when he (for various reasons I won't go in to here) started taking longer than usual. It would never occur to me to complain about a longer bout of sex. But hearing him apologize for "taking so long" really made me think about what I'd been saying and how it impacted him.

    I'm wondering if this is a common theme among long-term couples--feeling like one should apologize for taking a long time (not counting deliberate edging, obviously) or wishing one's partner would or would not acknowledge time frame as a factor in overall sexual enjoyment.

    Have you ever apologized for taking too long?
    Has your partner?
    I'd love to hear more about this from others.

  • Have you ever apologized for taking too long? NO
    Has your partner? NO

    I did applogize one time when I "2 pump-chumped her" LOL. But, I think I made up for that with "other" measures.

    Comment


    • it's a know fact that women take longer & I told husband that long time ago

      lately, he's said to me "go ahead & get started" lol
      have apologized to him when I've accidentally gone past "getting started"

      Comment


      • The bf is a long-hauler...and I mean that in the best sense of the phrase. We don't live together, so sex is not happening regularly, so we roll with it, and there is no time too long that we spend doing the deed, when we finally are able to. Neither of us have made any sort of apology for it, that I can ever remember. We may apologize for waiting too long between...lol

        Comment


        • I've never apologized for taking too long because the orgasm deities haven't disrupted that for me (yet) but my partner has apologized, and I always feel so bad for him. He's also apologized when he simply couldn't reach orgasm or his erection didn't last - he always feels awful, and that makes me feel bad for him because neither of us loves each other because of the length of time either last in bed or how quickly we reach climax. We joke about how our sex life is in a bit of a dip right now - but we're also very well aware of why that is (medical stuff, outside stressors, etc). I think it helps that we keep the lines of communication open and aren't afraid to talk about all kinds of things, including when sex doesn't go as we intended.

          For whatever reason, though, the need to apologize is there (I imagine I'd probably do the same) but we also have the immediate need to reassure each other, too. So yes, maybe it's a long-term relationship thing.

          Comment


          • I've definitely had partners apologize for penetrative sex being too short. I always tell them not to worry about it. Sometimes I think they just want to address the elephant in the room more so than give an actual apology because I had told him he doesn't need to apologize many times.

            We kind of have this rigid description of what sex should be and people think cumming quickly or taking a long time to cum or not cumming at all doesn't count as "good" sex but really you get to decide what sex is good for you.

            Comment

            or

            Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

            Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

            Latest Activity On Our Forums

            Collapse

            Latest Topics On Our Forums

            Collapse

            • My boyfriend can't finish while having sex with me

              Hello everyone,
              I am 52, my boyfriend is 53. Him and I have been in a committed relationship for 10 months. From the beginning our sex life has...

              02-29-2024, 12:55 PM By tgraykansas
            • Have you ever held a penis while peeing?

              My fwb recently asked if she could hold me while I peed. I was totally open to it but kept getting hard when she tried to lol.

              Has anyone...

              02-29-2024, 11:55 AM By MrMr
            • should I divorce

              Due to a sexless marriage, I have found myself losing interest in my partner, we have both put on weight her 50 and me 15 and now do not desire her. I...

              02-07-2024, 08:59 AM By CJ99
            • Sexless in Seatle

              All was great during the dating period, sex once a day or more then marriage, work stress and a move and that killed the sex drive. Not in the morning...

              02-06-2024, 09:33 PM By CJ99
            • Wife won't let husband finish inside her

              Hi, first time posting.
              I've been married to my wife for 24yrs now. She has never required me to wear a condom to have sex with her. After our 2nd...

              02-02-2024, 10:18 PM By Kimroger
            Working...
            X