[Carrie5679]

Hello! On Thursday night I spent time with a guy i've been dating for a little over a month now. Casual dating (not my choice). We were intimate for hours. There were a few times where it felt uncomfortable since it was towards the end of the encounter and it had been going on for so long. My parter is not very large, so that was not a factor. I believe it was mainly due to dryness. But, also, his facial hair was hurting me during oral sex. It hurt to wipe after urinating for the first 2 days. But, it still hurts near the perineum. I don't really see any issues when I inspect, but yesterday and today there has been a little bit of blood on the toilet paper when I wipe and yesterday there was a tiny little clump of blood. I do feel a little discomfort where my left ovary would be. But, nothing horrible. The other part of this is that we stuck to one position the majority of the time and in that position, my lower back was rubbing on the edge of his mattress. My lower back is really hurting, but is not bruised. I do not have health insurance so going to the doctor is out of the question right now. I've been using coconut oil daily. Is there anything else I can do? Anything I can do to speed up healing? Thank you so much!

[JonnyR]

Hi Carrie5679, Welcome to the forum. First, take a breath. Based on what you described, the most likely explanation is that you have some minor tissue irritation or small abrasions from lots of sex combined with friction, dryness, and facial hair irritation.

The fact that it hurts to wipe afterward, that the discomfort is localized near the perineum, and that you’re seeing a small amount of blood when wiping all fit with superficial tissue trauma.

The good news is that these types of minor tears often improve on their own within several days to a couple of weeks if they’re not repeatedly irritated.

A few things I would do (After doing a bit of digging):

• Give the area a few days of rest from sexual activity.
• Avoid anything scented or irritating around the vulva.
• Wear loose, breathable clothing if possible.
• Continue gentle moisturizing if it feels soothing, though many gynecologists prefer a simple barrier ointment such as petroleum jelly for external irritation rather than oils.
• Stay hydrated and avoid excessive wiping. A peri bottle or rinsing with warm water after urinating can be more comfortable than toilet paper while healing.

The back pain may simply be a separate issue from being pressed against the mattress edge for hours. Muscle soreness and soft tissue irritation from prolonged positioning are common and can take several days to settle down.

The one thing I’d keep an eye on is the bleeding and pelvic discomfort.

A tiny amount of spotting after friction is not unusual. However, if the bleeding increases, you develop significant pelvic pain, fever, unusual discharge, burning with urination, a foul odor, or symptoms continue worsening rather than improving over the next few days, then you should seek medical care even if finances are tight.

Many communities have low-cost clinics that can help if needed, like Planned Parenthood.

A couple questions:

Was the blood definitely coming from the vaginal/perineal area, or is there any chance it could be from a small external cut or even hemorrhoidal tissue?

Also, are you noticing gradual improvement each day, or has the pain near the perineum stayed about the same or gotten worse? Those details would help narrow down whether this sounds like a simple friction injury that’s healing normally or something that deserves a closer look.

Either way, I think you're going to be ok.