[redrose32086]

Okay so im even embarrased to write this. Im 22 and still a virgin. Ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year now and we have messed around. I have 0 self confidence if you ask me ill tell you that i think im the ugliest and fattest person. The problem that i have is with my weight. Im a little on the heavy side and im very insicure about it. I want to have sex with my boyfriend but i cant just thinking about being naked with him i feel SOO UNCOMFORTABLE. Here he is in great shape and here i am all flobby all over. I even get uncomfortable when he holds me because of my belly. I dont know what to do anyone out there that can help me out? I dont want to be a virgin forever because of this problem. I feel like if he sees me naked his going to get disgusted because i even get disgusted looking at myself. I dont know what to do anymore.....

[miffed23]

Eh up, is this the married man we are on about?

Anyhooo...i will just go ahead and answer this thread.

Firstly, youre main downfall and where all this body insecurity stems from is your negative attitude...youre hot in your mans eyes...act it Even if you feel like the 'ugliest and fattest' women on earth, dont let it show.

He wouldnt touch you if he wa repulsed by you. He wouldnt even bat an eye at you if you werent sassy, so you obviously are, and definitely are in his eyes.

So what if youre not shaped like an athlete, these people can be obsessive and uptight. Accentuate your 'good' bits - i bet youve super boobs, get them out...well, not literally...but flaunt them... Buy clothes that make you feel sexy....sex is all about mind games and being confident.

Good luck.

[redrose32086]

Ive been like this all my life. Everytime i tell myself that i need to change. I mean i have to get out of it somehow or im going to be a virgin forever? i hope not. Even thinking about me being naked in front of him makes me freak out and not want to do it.

[miffed23]

Ive been like this all my life. Everytime i tell myself that i need to change. I mean i have to get out of it somehow or im going to be a virgin forever? i hope not. Even thinking about me being naked in front of him makes me freak out and not want to do it.

I know its easy for me to say 'forget about all your concerns, just be confident" and its a lot harder to actually put it into practice.

Hmm, i used to be body conscious - i took up horse riding , maybe you could take up a hobby that you enjoy and also aids towards improving fitness. Or start doing sit ups, if you can see something positive happening to your body, itll help your confidence grow.

Youre not going to be a virgin all your life, there is plenty of time.. dont put too much pressure upon yourself.

[redrose32086]

thanks a lot!

[shweedart]

If it bothered then he wouldnt be your boyfriend!
Have sex in the dark or under the bedsheet or wear a sexy nightgown or something, so you dont have to get naked just hoist your skirt up a bit and your off!

Im not big but i know how it feels not to be self confident but ive found that if you dont make a big deal out of it then he wont even notice!
Ive been with my boyfriend just coming upto 7 months and before last week he'd never even noticed my stretch marks or cellulite until I pointed them out! And now he says he loves my wobbly dimply bum and my purple wormies (stretch marks) because it makes me human


my boyfriend sounds like a right sap, but he loves me regardless

and so will yours

[redrose32086]

thanks a lot!!!

[Fire(m)]

From the man's perspective, women often worry about this sort of thing because men are known to be so "visual". It just so happens redrose, you GET HIM OFF visually or he wouldn't be with you. Guys are visual. But they're all different. Just as much as women, with the exception that I think women are much more discerning than men are. Women are more critical to eachother than men would ever be to them.

Don't worry...your man is DYING to be with you. There is a zero chance that he will not be turned on by your body. Even if you don't find anything to love about it, I'm sure he will find plenty to love about it. Just relax.

Cheers.

[abetterme]

well, i will tell you like i tell anyone. If i am fat with my clothes on......i will be fat when i take them off. girlfriend, if your man loves you and want to be in a relationship with you then trust and believe he has some type of connection to you. Not everyone is concerned with the outside appearance. He could love the way your belly feels or if he is a person that is on top of the fitness game.....then he may have fallen in love with your inside beauty. Never ever put yourself down under any circumstances. Love yourself first and that will help you when it is time to love that man. Hold your head high beauty!

[WildChild]

Go to the library or used book store and find some books on Renaissance art. Look at the women the masters painted, they are volumptuous. They are not tiny,slender women. rethink your vocabulary, think volumptuous, think Rubenesque. Many of the ancient Goddess statures have rounded bellies, ample thighs and broad behinds, those are signs of fertility. In the ancient world where food supplies were less certain than they are today for most of the world, a well fed woman was a status symbol - she had enough to eat and her man was a good provider. Her babies had a better chance of survival. Make some nice color copies of some of these very sensual ladies and post them around your private space to remind yourself that for generations this was the standard of beauty! That means you have classic fugure!

Start shopping in stores that are dedicated to larger women. Even if they are pricey, you can get an idea of how to dress yourself to make the most of what you have. I have aunt by marriage who is a large woman. No one thinks of her as fat. She isn't, she's just large. She works out and is in pretty good shape, she dresses like a million bucks and carries herself like a queen. She has learned how to move and to walk and has excellent posture. She also has a fabulous smile and genuine and warm manner. I'm certain even at nearly 60, she turns men's heads. It's all about attitude. You can change yours!