[Merry]

Okay I am new here, but something just doesn't feel real about this whole thread. And if it is real, you might give some thought to the possibility he might be gay or at least bi. I just can't think of a single straight guy (no matter how nice) who would react like this, or have any kind of physical relationship knowing his girlfriend had a penis.

[Uneeklyme]

Having a penis is not a medical condition, being transsexual is a medical condition. Gender develops before sex. There was a defect along the way that created me this way. I was born female with a male sex, I was never born male. Im not trying to justify anything, keeping this medical condition from him was what was best for me, now its better for me know that he knows. Also people like me? what do you mean people like me? honest good girls?

Your right, having a penis is not a medical condition and neither is FEELING transgendered. You hide behind it as such. I said you were born PHYSICALLY male. People like you... the ones that lie or omit what could be life changing information to protect their own agenda. Honest in this case is in the eye of the beholder.

[ChelseaRenee]

You lied by omission, period. You say you're a "real woman" who wants to be with a "real man". Okay, cool deal. What if he told you after all this time that he was born a woman and had a vagina? Would you take it as well as he did?

[mariaangel]

Your right, having a penis is not a medical condition and neither is FEELING transgendered. You hide behind it as such. I said you were born PHYSICALLY male. People like you... the ones that lie or omit what could be life changing information to protect their own agenda. Honest in this case is in the eye of the beholder.

People are transgendered, and all of the terms that fall under that umbrella term are valid medical conditions. Im hiding behind nothing. I was born with a male body, yes. my gender is female, yes. im not lying about anything, im being who I am. There is no agenda. No its not in the eye of the beholder, unless you have this medical condition or unless you have studied this your entire life on the side of science and development, then you cannot possibly say nothing about it. Its not a lifestyle or a choice like many people seem to believe. and no my boyfriend is not bisexual or homosexual, he is heterosexual. He loves me and doesnt want anything to get in they way of that love. Also might I ask why you are attacking my gender and who I am? You should accept everyone. Also I am a "real female" I was just born with a "male body". That can happen along the lines of development of the fetus. And another fact, all fetuses are originally female so there can be an error in the development of the child.

[mariaangel]

If he told me after all this time that he was born in a female body and his gender was male, I would react well, I would not have a problem with it. I would take it well if he had a vagina as he took it well that I have a penis. Also he couldnt be gay cause of my breasts and my body, and how i dress and how I look, and hes not bi, he doesnt talk about guys or penises in that way. Maybe he just really loves me and doesnt care how different I am. Another fact is ill get sex reassignment surgery soon so it wont matter. I told him this as well.

[Uneeklyme]

People are transgendered, and all of the terms that fall under that umbrella term are valid medical conditions. Im hiding behind nothing. I was born with a male body, yes. my gender is female, yes. im not lying about anything, im being who I am. There is no agenda. No its not in the eye of the beholder, unless you have this medical condition or unless you have studied this your entire life on the side of science and development, then you cannot possibly say nothing about it. Its not a lifestyle or a choice like many people seem to believe. and no my boyfriend is not bisexual or homosexual, he is heterosexual. He loves me and doesnt want anything to get in they way of that love. Also might I ask why you are attacking my gender and who I am? You should accept everyone. Also I am a "real female" I was just born with a "male body". That can happen along the lines of development of the fetus. And another fact, all fetuses are originally female so there can be an error in the development of the child.

Your barking up the wrong tree of accept me you bigot. My son was gay and I am bisexual. I can say whatever I want about it. You assume I think its a lifestyle but what you dont seem to understand is assumptions generally bite you in the butt. A penis on a female would definately get in my way if I was looking for a female lover. On another note, I work in the medical profession and study it all the time so I am not swayed by medical facts thrown at me. If you were being who you are then you would have told your boyfriend long before you did. You have a penis, that is part of who you are and no matter how you try to sugar coat it, it is a huge deal in the realm of relationships. If there werent an agenda... im guessing it might be something like you were afraid he wouldn't want to be with you anymore... then you wouldn't have deceived him for as long as you did. If you weren't worried about repercussions you wouldn't have brought it up.

[mariaangel]

The reason I didnt tell him is not because I wasnt being who I am. I am now being who I really am but I had to hide it for a very long time. The only reason I didnt tell him was because I was worried that he would not love me anymore or not want to be with me or just stay away from me, only reason I didnt tell him sooner. Over the time in our relationship i got more and more depressed because I was keeping something so big from him. Another reason is 1 in 12 transsexuals are murdered for being who they are, many people in general want them all to not exist. Also it doesnt matter if ur bisexual or you arent if ur sons a homosexual or he isnt, that has nothing to do with transgendered individuals. Also you are telling me its a feeling, when it isnt, it is me, there was an error in my creation.

[Uneeklyme]

The reason I didnt tell him is not because I wasnt being who I am. I am now being who I really am but I had to hide it for a very long time. The only reason I didnt tell him was because I was worried that he would not love me anymore or not want to be with me or just stay away from me, only reason I didnt tell him sooner. Over the time in our relationship i got more and more depressed because I was keeping something so big from him. Another reason is 1 in 12 transsexuals are murdered for being who they are, many people in general want them all to not exist. Also it doesnt matter if ur bisexual or you arent if ur sons a homosexual or he isnt, that has nothing to do with transgendered individuals. Also you are telling me its a feeling, when it isnt, it is me, there was an error in my creation.

Right, thats what I said. You lied by omission for your own gain not out of any sense of loyalty or love for him. I didnt say my orientation or my sons did have anything to do with transgendered individuals. I made the statement to show you your assumptions about me not understanding different are way off base. We could go around with this all day long and your still not going to see what everyone is telling you. Its not about your "medical condition" its about your penis and how having it and not telling your boyfriend of two years was misleading and a lie by omission. You got lucky that he was so understanding but I would hazard a guess to say he probably lost alot of trust and faith in you.

[mariaangel]

but when I didnt tell him I had it how was that a lie? I should have told him but I was scared. I didnt know how he would react and thought it would be bad. He still has faith in me but is a bit upset with me. He does trust me but said that from now on I should just be honest with him and that if I continue to keep things from him then he wont be able to continue with the relationship even though he loves me. When he said this I just came clean with everything I had ever kept from anyone. Also he told me a few things that he had kept from me.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

but when I didnt tell him I had it how was that a lie? I should have told him but I was scared. I didnt know how he would react and thought it would be bad. He still has faith in me but is a bit upset with me. He does trust me but said that from now on I should just be honest with him and that if I continue to keep things from him then he wont be able to continue with the relationship even though he loves me. When he said this I just came clean with everything I had ever kept from anyone. Also he told me a few things that he had kept from me.

Depends on how your looking at this....

Blatently tell someone something not true:- A lie.

Keep something important from someone;- deceipt.

So, let's just say you were being deceiptful, but in a really selfish way, because the outcome you wanted was if you were able to make him fall in love with you by keeping him there over time, and "not telling" then "maybe" he would be too in love with you, the "person" to walk out and you achieved your goal of deceipt.....

Which ever way you want to look at it, and to you it was your "fear" of rejection from someone you want to be with, but for him it really could have been a nightmare he could never have gotten over, if the outcome was the reverse of what actually eventuated.

What you have to understand is your deceipt, in a different time, a different man, could put him over the edge, even to the point of suicide knowing that he "kissed a man" yes, man as body goes, and that that "man" gave him BJ's.

Could you live with that?

I couldn't...

Where you were lucky this time, don't tempt fate again next time, or worse, he could kill you.

CW