[Guest]

there is no trying to justify anything...you are wrong...period end of story...i understand you may love him...but honestly...if he is not gay in any way shape or form...you are outta there...so i suggest the next love of ur life you let know u have a lil manhood in that area...sorry for being so harsh and im sure this is very hard for you but ...come on!!!! you may just destroy this man for life...

[mariaangel]

Anyone who thinks im not a virgin, im a virgin in terms of legal consensual sex. Again im not gay, im a straight female. Also there are ways to not have the bulge. And also his assumptions about me being female are correct. Im not a transvestite or a cross-dresser, Im a transsexual female. I dont want guys who have some fetish for transgendered individuals. and drag queens well they just give girls like me a bad rep. Im not a gay male, im a straight female, so I dont want to be with a gay male. and its not a lie because I am a female, he is with a female who happens to be different and he doesnt know. I never fooled him into anything he didnt want, when i first met him, he asked me out as the female that I am and that was that.

[Guest]

i understand you may look like a female and you may be absolutely beautiful...im not saying u are a man at all...but u have a man part that you need to let ur loved one know about...i know ur scared...and if u do lose him...there will be someone else out there for you...i know easier said then done...but this s just not a secret to keep if you reall and truly love someone...

[rcoreyus]

If you didn't think he would react badly, you would have told him earlier. "by the way I'm genetically male" isn't the same sort of thing as "I'm jewish". What if he is considering marriage and kids?

I have absolutely no problem with anyone's gender choice, orientation, etc, but it is something that needs to be told to an intimate friend. The same is true if someone is gay or lesbian and intends to act on that orientation.

If this was a short acquaintance - a few days, I would not have a problem - I don't think you need to tell some immediately - but 2 years????

I'm sorry, but this may end very badly. If you are lucky, he will only be upset and angry.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Anyone who thinks im not a virgin, im a virgin in terms of legal consensual sex. Again im not gay, im a straight female. Also there are ways to not have the bulge. And also his assumptions about me being female are correct. Im not a transvestite or a cross-dresser, Im a transsexual female. I dont want guys who have some fetish for transgendered individuals. and drag queens well they just give girls like me a bad rep. Im not a gay male, im a straight female, so I dont want to be with a gay male. and its not a lie because I am a female, he is with a female who happens to be different and he doesnt know. I never fooled him into anything he didnt want, when i first met him, he asked me out as the female that I am and that was that.

Well, you have to be a Virgin at least to him, otherwise he would have found out.

Are you saying that within those two years, he has never, tried to touch you there, or foreplay? Assuming you off course on the other hand have seeing as you know about alot of sexual things gaging from your threads.

So your a woman trapped in a man's body, happens all the time, no explanations and certainly not a problem to me, i have gay friends, whilst not the same, i'm just saying.

But you "did fool him into something he didn't want when you first met", you did not tell him that you are a "female trapped in a male body".... You fooled him then and for the past 2 years, simple.

Do you not see that this is something when found out that "maybe" will destroy him?

As rcoreyus states, what if does accept you, but wants children later in life? Don't you think it should be discussed anyway, 2 years is a committed relationship, time to talk about future.

That means - TIME TO FESS UP.

And, time to think of other people, not your own needs.

CW

[damd]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years, I am 17 and he is 19. He tells me that he loves me. I want to take the next step but dont know how he will react when I tell him that I have a penis. This could possibly endanger my life if he isnt as accepting as my friends.
How could he have not noticed well hormones, breast augmentation, lazer, and my gender is female, im straight, but my sex is just male. Yes I am for real and no im not insane. Also I could have told him but I didnt think it really mattered.
I havent really lied to him because we never brought up the subject and he never asked. and its not changing who I am, its being who I am. Also if he really loves me, he wont really care. It may hurt him or scar him but that is not my intention. I could wait until after I have had sex reassignment surgery, but he keeps wanting to, or I could just do oral sex, I really dont want to hurt him. And the reason I started all this so young is because a few months before I met him they disowned me for wearing lipstick, I was able to 'pass' well enough until I started the hormones and stuff. I own an online company because im only skilled in that or prostitution (dont wanna do that) and im good at designing clothing and jewelry but not good enough. Also everyone should accept me as the female that I am even though I do have a penis. Well I guess its like I didnt feel he would love me so I didnt bring it up.
Anyone who thinks im not a virgin, im a virgin in terms of legal consensual sex. Again im not gay, im a straight female. Also there are ways to not have the bulge. And also his assumptions about me being female are correct. Im not a transvestite or a cross-dresser, Im a transsexual female. I dont want guys who have some fetish for transgendered individuals. and drag queens well they just give girls like me a bad rep. Im not a gay male, im a straight female, so I dont want to be with a gay male. and its not a lie because I am a female, he is with a female who happens to be different and he doesnt know. I never fooled him into anything he didnt want, when i first met him, he asked me out as the female that I am and that was that.

Then what are you doing here? That is you consider yourself, not lying, not decieving, a female. So why are you concered enough to come here and want to talk this out??? Because you now you have been lying and decieving him. He thinks you are a woman. One problem it's that thing between your legs that says otherwise. No matter how much surgery you do, you can never remove that other tell all thing and thats your Y chromosome. Look I understand that you consider yourself female so you want to change your body to fit your mind set, ok that is your choice your decision. But as a guy, when I dated a woman you have a certain expectation that she is the gender which she was born with. That is no Y chromosome, no tally wag, and deffinately no daily hormones to make her look female. (Because your mind says one thing but your genes say another) Your situation is unique and you owe it to anyone that dates you that they know about it, instead of hanging out here dreading how you are going to break this news to the guy.

[Fallen1]

Then what are you doing here? That is you consider yourself, not lying, not decieving, a female. So why are you concered enough to come here and want to talk this out??? Because you now you have been lying and decieving him. He thinks you are a woman. One problem it's that thing between your legs that says otherwise. No matter how much surgery you do, you can never remove that other tell all thing and thats your Y chromosome. Look I understand that you consider yourself female so you want to change your body to fit your mind set, ok that is your choice your decision. But as a guy, when I dated a woman you have a certain expectation that she is the gender which she was born with. That is no Y chromosome, no tally wag, and deffinately no daily hormones to make her look female. (Because your mind says one thing but your genes say another) Your situation is unique and you owe it to anyone that dates you that they know about it, instead of hanging out here dreading how you are going to break this news to the guy.

I agree with d a m d ..... Surgery and hormones only change your appearance .... your DNA still is male and I think you owe it to anyone that you have a relationship with to tell them.

[mariaangel]

First off he doesnt think I am female, he knows that I am female he just doesnt know that I am a transsexual female. My gender is female and has always been, im not changing my gender. The only thing that is being changed is my anatomical sex, to the way it should be to properly match my gender. Also we have done just kissing and hugging because I just didnt want to be in a sexual relationship at that time, nor did he. Also he has touched me there but I wouldnt let his hand past my inner thigh, you can tell even if there are ways to keep it hidden to keep it from bulging. Now that he wants sex, I have to just tell him, I cant keep hiding the female that I am.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

mariaangel
First off he doesnt think I am female, he knows that I am female he just doesnt know that I am a transsexual female.

Look, i think that it is great that "you know who you are".. But stop being in denial over how other people will see it. They will not see what you see, simple... You are a male, whom wants to be a female, thinks like a female and will i am sure eventually be a female, with some difficulties.

He knows the female tendancies in you, that's all. The feminine side of you.

Don't play this game again, in future, seeing as you know who you are, tell the next person, immediately...

It's not your call to decide on someone elses behalf, to keep that secret...

mariaangel
Now that he wants sex, I have to just tell him, I cant keep hiding the female that I am.

Great... Tell him. You can't keep hiding the part of you, you mean that is NOT female.

But, do me a favour, ensure none of his friends are around, however, someone else is around and that you can run, because frankly you are a male, and he may very well lash out and hit you one.

CW

[Phoebee]

People who are transsexual have a medical problem. And breast augmentation and even sex reassignment surgery is being done at younger ages then before. Some of the most wel respected surgeons have made statements that hormone therapy (at least) should start as early as possible to effect the most complete transition.

I think at 17 most people would have a very hard time "coming out" about what was going on with them. Its unfortunate that more people don't see this for what it is which is a medical condition not a "lifestyle"

The posters who say this young man is going to wig out when you tell him maybe right. Its going to be very difficult for some people to understand that which they are not familiar with. Get some professional advise on this and the other issues. And if your working with a doctor for all this great. If not PLEASE don't do this yourself. Its far too dangerous.

- p