[vicmicpha]

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We are in our early twenties. We used to have GREAT sex. All night, multiple times... etc. He was in the army, so we were apart for a while and later on I found out that he had cheated. I was disgusted and refused to let him touch me for a while. He deployed again, and a year helped me forget what he'd done enough for us to move on. It's been a 1 1/2 years since he's been back. At first, I thought he was finishing prematurely because it had been so long since we had been together. But now, I have no idea.

I am lucky if our sex lasts 2 minutes. I am so frustrated but I have no ideas. We've talked about it, but he says he has no idea why except that I'm "too small". I find that even more frustrating because once-upon-a-time it was just right.

Does anyone have any tips to help us last? Positions, etc? Thinking baseball just doesn't seem to cut it.

[damd]

Does he just rush in at full gallop? Has he tried taking the Sunday stroll into town? Are you vocal about your pleasure during the act? If so, try being a mime. I'm not saying to not make it enjoyable for him, but remove some of the stimulation.

[sourpuss]

Is he putting any effort in to making you feel good?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

To me he is saying that the tightness of you excites him so much from the feeling on his atonomy that he can't help himself but cum.

As others have said, do you bring foreplay to the table before hand.

It may have been just right before hand due to more sex, perhaps you were engaging in it much more often than now as well.

If it is not often, during the week, then when he does the deed he may be way excited as well...

CW

[Fire(m)]

Why don't you take a different approach. Let him blow in 2 minutes...give him a few minutes to get sorted out and go at it again. You're in your 20's not 50's. Or do the 2 min routine in the morning and then do it again for keeps later in the afternoon/evening.

You could use condoms...they reduce the feeling significantly...that might help. There are a lot of options available to you, but the main thing is that the two of you have to want to work together to solve the problem. Is that the case? Will he work with you or just "get his" in 2 minutes and shrug his shoulders at you?

If he is willing, you guys can work through this pretty easily I'm thinking.
Cheers.

[rcoreyus]

Probably best not to make him stress over this. There are lots of things he can do for you. As someone else suggested, if he finishes too soon, wait a bit, then try again. Repeat as necessary.

[Sweet Lady]

Hey vicmicpha, welcome to this wonderful forum!

You mention that he was in the army? Is he still there?
Me thinks that he may have been able to control himself better with all the exercise he used to get in the army. Get him to do some form of exercise. I know that lack of exercise may have an impact on lasting power.

If he is still in the army, he has to learn/train himself not to cum before you. You have to help him by not stimulating him when you know he is about to come e.g. he could tell you to stop moving when he feels like lifting off. Please do stop. Stop then when he gives the ok, continue.
Or you could try having sex with you clothes on where he wonn't see your naked body (well this could have the opposite effect too!!!). Basically, try avoid most of the things/moves that turn quickly.

You have to work together to solve this. Remember, have fun in solving the problem, don't pressurise him i.e. don't focus on the problem...happy solving!!!!

[paradine7]

I used to have this problem. This can also be linked with anxiety. A man can come as a result of being anxious about performance. It can happen before he even enters, as used to happen to me. Once I controlled my anxiety (lexepro), this went away and I was quite happy with my performance.

Lexepro - in low doses is used to prevent premature ejaculation.

[zeos133]

I second the exercise suggestion and the bit about anxiety. Also, your tightness could be part of it too. Some girls can control the muscles down there very well (like from practicing Kegels), and its possible you're tightening them unconsciously. I'm just speculating here but maybe your past problem has created an unconscious desire to reject him whereby you tighen up. Learn to relax. Maybe start off using a dildo or something.

Advice for him. I had a premature problem with my g/f when we first started dating and found that most of it was a mental problem. I find her extremely attractive and at first she was simply too much for me. When this happened I felt embarrased and self-conscious. So then the next time we did it I was feeling self-conscious and worried and that just made it worse. Then it was like an endless cycle. I had to find a way to get my confidence back and retrain my body to last longer. I bought some numbing cream, ManDelay (get it..Man, delay), and started using it. It desensitizes the penis. This sex was not as good for me, and sometimes I couldn't come! But it helped me retrain myself to last longer and allowed me to take my mind off my penis and focus on my girl. If you try this make sure he uses a condom otherwise it will get on your clit and you'll be desensitized too!

good luck!