[Rod'sGirl]

Hey ladies, I'm new and I wanted some advice on a problem that's effecting my sex life!
Sooo...me and my boyfriend have been together about four years now. I'm not HUGE or anything like that, but I could stand to lose some weight. I have stretch marks, and a little stomach that I'm not extremely proud of. Me and him have great sex as long as we get down to it right away...but, he like foreplay also. I mean, It's fine for me in the dark, but the problem is the times when it's daylight and he wants to just look at me naked, or give him a lap dance....all those kinds of things that draw special attention to just my body. He says that he loves my body but it frustrates him that I am still embarrassed after all this time. I try to lose weight, but I always crash. I'm not pleased at all with my appearance and I can't understand how he could be either. I don't see myself gaining the confidence that he would like for me to have and I'm afraid that I'm beginning to bore him. What should I do?

[damd]

I think you should be extremely happy and greatful that you have a man that loves you and adores you for who you are. Obviously he is totaly in awe of you as you look right now. Even though you are not happy with your body your man is. You are so beautiful to him, you should take heart in that. Let go of your insecurities, he is not going to criticize you, he would have done that already. I know it can be hard, sometimes a person is their worst critic, but maybe you should try to see yourself through his eyes.

Good luck to you

[rcoreyus]

Maybe he loves you - and to him you are beautiful. If so, that is way to valuable to throw away, so take what he says at face value and be happy - you are very lucky.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Totally agree with Damd.

Did you know that some men hate size 6 women, no meat at all on them, they love curves even love handles it's a turn on to them.. They find it extremely sexy and if you were a nice curvy size as you are now, when you both met, then he was attracted to all of you, mind, body and soul and still is.

You should be jumping up and down, look at me, look at me, to all those girls who aren't getting it, because their boyfriend thinks their fat and won't go near them.

This guy love all of you and your insecurities is what is making things change sexually...

If a man wants a lap dance by a woman that is larger, then he finds HER EXTREMELY SEXY, it's when he doesn't want one that you have to worry about it.

Go and buy some sexy under-wear so that when it's day time, tell him, do what you want with me stud, but leave those on, you can work around them... I bet you'll feel sexy and beautiful and slowly you can rid of those even in daylight.

Big is beautiful don't forget it.

CW

[maz33]

Are any of us really happy with our bodies?? We stress about our curves and wobbly bits while men seem to love our different shapes and sizes.

I think most men will agree that confidence goes a long way. Most would rather have a not-so-skinny slightly wobbly woman who is happy and confident than a skinny one who constantly worries about their body. Confidence is sexy.

I'm sure you'll get lots of replies from the guys backing me up on this one

Stop worrying and just enjoy your time with your man. If you really want to lose weight, do it sensibly and gradually but in the meantime don't get too hung up about it!

[Fire(m)]

My wife is a ~40 year old massage therapist. She does not have a perfect body. I LOVE her and her body. Here's a story for you...I hope you find it insightful.

When my wife was in college completing her degree in Massage Therapy, they had a class that did a lot of postural analyses. If you are not familiar with this concept, basically the students get into their underwear (or something very minimal, and fitting) and then the other students analyze their body (ie, her right shoulder is a little higher than her left...her left hip is a little lower than her right, etc.).
The idea is to analyze the posture to understand what to do as a Massage Therapist to correct the problem areas by lengthening or shortening muscles, etc. After the analysis, the student gets a massage, and then there is another analysis done to see what the results were.

Anyway...to make the long story real long, my wife, being approx 40 years old was in a class of "teenie-boppers" - - the majority of whom were 18-23 years old. My wife was very apprehensive about this, but I kept telling her...YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. Don't worry about it. When it came time to "volunteer" to get up in front of the class in her underwear, my wife just bit the bullet (I was real proud when she told me later) and she did it. She said it was difficult, but she got through it.

The moment of clarity came to her when the last girl went up in front of the class in her underwear. She was 18, and by my wife's description, absolutely "perfect" in every way. Beautiful and with a perfect body. Well the perfect little girl, got up in front of the class, and burst into tears. She was so self-conscious and so concerned about her body and she felt so "imperfect" that it was enough for this beautiful girl to freak out. She was unable to continue with the analysis.

Ok, the point is:
99.9% of women consider themselves somehow less than beautiful. Just because you're one of those 99.9% DOES NOT MEAN that you are correct.

When your husband or your boyfriend looks at your body, it thrills his soul. Even if you're not perfect. You're HIS GIRL. You're the girl HE LOVES. You TURN HIM ON!
Go with it. Act like the Princess you ARE and it will turn him on even MORE!!!!!!!

Trust me when I say this, he GETS OFF ON YOUR BODY! I say this speaking the truth from the core of my ability. Other guys, chime in here...am I wrong? If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'.

Cheers to all the beautiful women!

One other point...
You've got to be happy with who you are and where you are in life.
If you're 20, be happy with what you've got.
If you're 40, or 60, or 80...it's all relative.

Your husband knows he's not perfect either. You love him don't you? He's proud of himself (beer belly, bald head, hairy back and all). But he probably carries himself like the stud he thinks he really is...and YOU...looking as good as you do...with all your "lady parts" question yourself...why!!!!!!!! You ladies are AWESOME!

Cheers (again). I promise I'll let this go now...hehe.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Fire(m)
Trust me when I say this, he GETS OFF ON YOUR BODY! I say this speaking the truth from the core of my ability. Other guys, chime in here...am I wrong? If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'.

Cheers to all the beautiful women!

Nup, your not wrong, not lying, so please, please don't go dying...

Fire(m)
You ladies are AWESOME!

Thank you we know this. Not sure though what God was thinking when he made man, as he gave us more than one part to look at that is awesome... haha.

[damd]

So there you have it!

Quit your cry'in, and start that smil'in

He loves you. That is all you need to know.

[Richard S]

I don't mean to be trite, but have you ever read The Velveteen Rabbit?

How about The Little Prince?

Or any of the other bazillion children's stories about seeing the inner beauty in people? In yourself?

Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper.

[Rod'sGirl]

Thanks you guys, all of the responses were really uplifting! Got plans tonight with my special one and I think I will surprise him with a little show! LOL