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  • SorridLives
    Veteran Member
    • Nov 2007
    • 397

    Originally posted by Kalashnikitty
    Try a vibrator. Seriously. I can't masturbate without one. My fingers just don't cut it.

    Like Silver said, masturbation can sometimes be better than sex. I've caught my husband masturbating in another room many times. It used to really upset me because he knows I'm always up for some fun. It helped a lot when someone explained to me what Silver just said. Sometimes people just want to get off and not have to worry about getting someone else off in the process. It sounds selfish but it's normal. I urge you to try a vibrator. Best purchase I've ever made. It made me understand my husband's needs more and gives me that time to myself too. Try out different ones too. Toys are not "one size fits all" You could try taking a nice hot bath, light a few candles and just take the time to explore your body. Get one of the water proof vibes so you can take it in the bath with you. You can also play with it with your boyfriend. Once you know what you like done with it, teach him how to use it on you. I also sometimes use it when I give my husband head. It makes for low impact sexual gratification on both of us. I'm happy and he's happy and neither of us gets too tired out. Good luck
    I think you are giving the OP a lot of good advice here. I don't think I am quite as happy about it as you are, but I am coming to the same conclusion. Nothing is going to stop my husband from wanting to rub one or even TWO out when I am not around for several hours. I also enjoy some "alone time" now when he is not around. I think it is a matter of, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." You learn a lot about your SO this way...and undertand better.

    Comment

    • MynxV
      Member
      • Jul 2008
      • 45

      you're bf must have intense fore-arms
      The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary

      Comment

      • Phoebee
        Veteran Member
        • Jul 2008
        • 238

        Originally posted by lalalady
        I have about the opposite problem with my boyfriend. He keeps trying to convince me he never masterbates, but I have a hard time beleiving that. I know him, he doesn't lie to me, so I guess he just is very self concious. I cannot say that I masturbate myself, as the thought of my own fingers down there is pretty gross.
        I don't think its a problem really, nothing you should exactly be concerned with, because like you said atleast he is not pleasuring himself with someone else.
        I understand you feel pretty upset because he wil not wait, but I'm sure he would rather have sex with his beautiful woman than his hand!
        If a man masturbate to the exclusion of sex with his SO I agree. It needs to be cut off... Err bad choice of words. It needs to be addressed. Less painful anyway...

        LaaLaaLady! As to being squeamish about touching yourself... What!? Seriously you need to rethink this. During sex is it forbidden to touch yourself? hon your missing out. How often can a man make a women reach orgasm from intercourse? The percentage is very very low. If you don't know how your genitals work then how can you expect to show your SO how to do it right?

        Masturbation is not from what I can conclude a sin unless it done to the exclusion of sex.
        there is a good web site for Christians called the Marriage bed that has a ongoing talk about this.
        "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." ~ Janis Joplin

        Comment

        • Mme.Marie
          Member
          • Aug 2008
          • 34

          You say he has sex with you , but when you arent up to it , he finishes himself ? Well just be thankful he understands no , so guys dont. Also , he isnt cheating on you , so dont worry.

          Sex is fun. No doubts there . But its not the only pleasurably thing. If you feel out of the loop , when you are in the mood , you can play show and tell ... learn what he does and what that does to him . That way you can make him feel just as good. Why ? To quote something I once read " A hand job is like a sandwich , you can make it yourself but its so much nicer to have someone make it for you " . Also , it can be a really big turn on to watch your guy ...and , when you play show and tell... you get a turn to show him how to make you melt .

          Everyone else also made good points though . But in all , if you have sex regularly , there is no serious porn addiction as well , and there is no other woman ... you have nothing to worry about. You can turn it in your favor , or occasionally , just masterbate yourself ( let him watch and dont touch and I guarantee you will get what you want in the end ). Its not he end of the world.

          Comment

          • Fire(m)
            Veteran Member
            • Jul 2008
            • 236

            I figured I'd wait a while to enter my 2 cents into this.

            I will be completely honest. I thoroughly enjoy masturbation. It's awesome! Whenever I get turned on, and it's possible for me to do it, I DO! I am ALWAYS ready for my lady and always in pursuit of her, so she doesn't suffer one bit because of my enjoyment of masturbation.

            I don't get much sex (currently). My wife's sex drive comes and goes...sometimes its great, sometimes it sucks. If I got sex 6x a week, however, I would still want a good wank every once in a while. It's just good clean fun! I have had girlfriends in the past who "did not masturbate" and I always encouraged it! My wife of 22 years understands it's place for her as well.

            I believe that people should be "TRYSEXUAL" which means that anything that they don't find morally reprehensible or disgusting, they should try. You don't have to LOVE everything sexual, but you don't know if you don't try it. Some things may not be for you, but oftentimes you won't know this until you experience it. This could apply to masturbation, oral, anal, the world famous and controversial (at least on this site) pegging, what-ever!

            Back to the original point, someone could call me addicted to masturbation and I'd be ok with that. It's a wonderful thing. I do it for myself, I do it with my wife watching, whatever. It's all great! It can be an extremely healthy way of accomplishing virtually dozens of sexual goals.

            To the original poster, if you are getting ALL you want, then I don't think you have a thing to worry about. Additionally, in my mind, you ought to encourage him to do whatever he pleases with regard to masturbation. It would probably help you too if you were to get and use a vibe so you could enjoy this awesome "YOU" time.

            Cheers.

            Comment

            • miffed23
              Veteran Member
              • Mar 2008
              • 568

              Originally posted by Fire(m)
              I believe that people should be "TRYSEXUAL" which means that anything that they don't find morally reprehensible or disgusting, they should try. You don't have to LOVE everything sexual, but you don't know if you don't try it.
              Amen to that!

              As a woman, i was on the flip side of the coin (i have no idea what that means ) ... anyhooo, in my last long term relationship, i had my rabbit out every night (at least) and my partner didnt mind in the slightest, he knew very well that my sex drive was way higher than his... it didnt make me love him any less, we still had regular sex...usually when he wasnt too tired.... but masterbating was something that helped me along the way

              I dont think you need to worry at all.... maybe its just that his sex drive is a little higher than yours... but he wont love you any less.

              Comment

              • Fire(m)
                Veteran Member
                • Jul 2008
                • 236

                All I have to say is AMEN to the RABBIT!
                Cheers.

                Comment

                • shweedart
                  Veteran Member
                  • Feb 2008
                  • 679

                  When it's finally your time I'm sure his hand wont compare to our wonderful lady place so that might make it a bit boring for him

                  I could be wrong, probably am! All I know is that once we'd had sex then...doing it myself really wasn't fun! *sob*

                  Comment

                  • owlhunter
                    Senior Member
                    • Jul 2008
                    • 101

                    the above posts, except for the really childish one about forearms, is very very good advice. I don't really have anything to add. Read what has been said carefully.

                    Sex is a team sport, but there are also places for solo performaces. Performances that can have not negative effect on the relationship - unless you MAKE them have negative effects.

                    Comment

                    • CHANDLERS WISH
                      • Mar 2008
                      • 22440

                      Originally posted by owlhunter
                      the above posts, except for the really childish one about forearms, is very very good advice. I don't really have anything to add. Read what has been said carefully.

                      Sex is a team sport, but there are also places for solo performaces. Performances that can have not negative effect on the relationship - unless you MAKE them have negative effects.
                      I'm thinking after that comment owlhunter, me needs to start playing sport I knew i was doing something wrong?

                      Agree if it's a negativity to a relationship than that's way no good at all..

                      Totally believe in one word:- "Communication" I truly believe that is "The Key" in totality.

                      CW
                      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                      Comment

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