[Fire(m)]

Sorry to hear about your very painful experience Lightness. I hope others who are in your situation can use your wisdom to help themselves.

Cheers.

[Uneeklyme]

I do have to say that I think I can only be happy with a woman who understands that trust is trust and I'm not going to cheat with a man anymore than I would with a woman. And that being bisexual does not mean you NEED to have sex with both genders or anyone but your lawfully wedded / dearly beloved.

Have to agree. It boggles my mind that people are of the impression that bisexual (especially men) are cheaters. Cheaters are cheaters regardless of the gender they choose to cheat with. Granted, I dont want to find out 2 years into a relationship that my partner is bisexual but I don't believe a bisexual cannot be monogamous. Actually, being bisexual, I have been forced so to speak to examine my beliefs, morals, and values on the subject of sex, sexuality and relationships from more angles than most straight people do. I find it tends to make me uphold a pretty high standard of (cheating is not an option and there really is no reason to cheat) If I feel there is a need to have sex with someone else, I am more inclined to talk to my partner about it. Something isn't right if I am looking elsewhere. So, as far as the OP. I am still of the opinion he cheated and thats the first problem to be delt with bisexual or not AND just because he is bisexual does not mean he cannot be faithful BUT he has already proven he isn't.

[SorridLives]

I don't see anything here that's specific to bi people or to men in your paragraph here. Bisexual people's needs are the same as anyone elses, and the need for honesty and being with someone you want to be with is the same as anyone else's. I'd be happy to talk more about it but to me this topic is clearly a different thread and about me rather than CParsee's original post. I'm guessing bisexual man topics have been talked to death on here already.... Perhaps someone will post a link to a previous conversation.

When I said "he", I was referring back to the OP and that situation.

Yayyyyyy, empathy and understanding, I love it. Are you saying I should try posting the topic again just to check the actual percentages in the responses?

(Don't worry moderators, I'm dumb but not insane. Yet.)

I do have to say that I think I can only be happy with a woman who understands that trust is trust and I'm not going to cheat with a man anymore than I would with a woman. And that being bisexual does not mean you NEED to have sex with both genders or anyone but your lawfully wedded / dearly beloved.

Interesting topic. I have been involved with these discussions. Just as an observation.....There have been several/many women on many message boards complaining about their supposedly straight men cheating with both women and/or men, respectively. I don't recall reading many women who are in a relationship with a **known to be- bisexual man complaining about their bisexual man cheating or bragging about them being faithful, for that matter. It is usually the women who think they are in a straight relationship and their partner cheats with a man that are complaining, from what I have seen.

This post really hit home because I've been exactly where you are.

My ex boyfriend and I were in a relationship for over 7 years. We lived together for 3 of those years.

When we first lived together I stumbled across an email sent by him or to him (I can't remember now) that was about sex with another guy. I asked him about it. Guess what? He said he was just curious! He was bored and just liked the attention. He had posted a picture of his naked body from the chest down. Well I believed it and never thought of it again.

It happens. Unfortunately, people lie about a lot of things and cheat. I have been lucky and it hasn't happened to me often.

[cparsee]

This post really hit home because I've been exactly where you are.

My ex boyfriend and I were in a relationship for over 7 years. We lived together for 3 of those years.

When we first lived together I stumbled across an email sent by him or to him (I can't remember now) that was about sex with another guy. I asked him about it. Guess what? He said he was just curious! He was bored and just liked the attention. He had posted a picture of his naked body from the chest down. Well I believed it and never thought of it again.

About 5 years later, I'll never really know what clued me in, but one day I had a suspicion of something. I broke into his email. I didn't really notice anything and then decided to check yahoogroups.com with the same login and password. There was a yahoo group listed called something like Jimsblkride. My ex boyfriend's name is Jim. In this group were pictures and videos. I started going through the pictures. Hmmm, that room looks familiar. That nightstand looks familiar. Wait, that's my bedroom! That's my apartment! That's my boyfriend sucking another man. Wait, there are two other men. My boyfriend is on the receiving end of these two guys. Neither of the guys had a condom on. My boyfriend RECEIVES anal sex!! I think I almost had a heart attack. Then, I found the videos. Gang Bangs! And it looked like Jim was the star of the show!

In our sex life together he was always the aggressive one. Later, in conversation, he said he liked to be "used" by men.

I, like you, still loved him. He had been my rock for 6 years! My best friend, my best lover! I was not strong enough to leave him for good. He moved to another state, I never saw anyone else, I still loved him. We talked daily and I still felt connected. He eventually said he wanted to marry me, he came back.

Long story short, he got some other woman pregnant in the other state. He moved back to be with the baby.

Basically fate rode in and saved me from myself!

After the illusion and confusion and started to leave me I was left with this:

He lied.
He cheated.
He risked my life.
He used me.
He used my home.

I'm still angry. I want to tell his whole family, friends, exactly who he is. But I don't. It won't make me feel any better if I expose him.

I hope fate rides in for you too. Something to make it easier to break it off. This life is short, don't waste as many years as I did!

You are right. Fate did step in and I pray to GOD that the same will happen to me. Because I will be the first one to admit that I am not strong enough to leave him!!! I just dont know why I would even consider taking him back because I do know that no matter which way I look at it, HE CHEATED ON ME!!!! But it is just so hard for me to even think of losing what we had before I discovered his bi-sexuality.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Presumably it'd be easier if your guy cheated with another guy? I mean that way it doesn't say anything about your womanliness... It's the very embodiment of "it's not you it's me..."....

[ChelseaRenee]

Presumably it'd be easier if your guy cheated with another guy? I mean that way it doesn't say anything about your womanliness... It's the very embodiment of "it's not you it's me..."....

It's the ultimate betrayal. It makes whatever you feel you 2 had together feel like a lie...Like it meant absolutely zero to your partner because, hey, they just wanted some d*ck and you were disposable enough for him to cheat just for that. You're pretty much useless to him now. It would only be the embodiment of "it's not you, it's me" if he decided he was gay. Like everyone has said, being bisexual doesn't give you a get out of jail free card for cheating, like it's some sort of necessity that they be with another gender besides their partners.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Ok. Is that the case if a mans girlfriend has sex with another girl after a wild party?

[ChelseaRenee]

Ok. Is that the case if a mans girlfriend has sex with another girl after a wild party?

My god, Anon! You and your persecution complex, lmao. You always seem to think that EVERYONE feels differently about the situation if the man was replaced with a woman. We don't. There's an equal amount of betrayal involved no matter what sex does it. To be honest, there are a lot of women who do that sort of thing for male attention and NOT because they're honestly bisexual (meaning, they could sleep with as WELL as fall in love with a woman) but that's beside the point. It is exactly the same betrayal. There's not a single difference but equipment involved. And for men, a higher risk of giving your parter AIDS, I guess. (Men who are sexually active with other men have a much higher AIDS rate, so that's not a stereotype there.)

[Little]

I think it IS different, because "bicurious" women are viewed differently than a "bicurious" man would be.
If a woman has sex with another woman at a party, she's the center of attention. If a man tried to, he's probably be thrown out the front door.
So I disagree with both Anon and ChelseaRenee ... though I do think it's just as unforgivable, I don't think that two women at a party are going to magically call themselves lesbians the next day, like two men would be apt to do.

[ChelseaRenee]

I think it IS different, because "bicurious" women are viewed differently than a "bicurious" man would be.
If a woman has sex with another woman at a party, she's the center of attention. If a man tried to, he's probably be thrown out the front door.
So I disagree with both Anon and ChelseaRenee ... though I do think it's just as unforgivable, I don't think that two women at a party are going to magically call themselves lesbians the next day, like two men would be apt to do.

But that's exactly what I said. If women do it, some people (read: men) see it as them being sexually adventurous and free, and that it doesn't necessarily mean they're bisexual. I just specified that I don't care what her intentions were (whether she really is bisexual or that she just felt like being an attention wh0re) she's wrong and gross because she cheated. That was my bottom line, really.