The simple truth is that, it is what it is. You have to be the best you, you can. It's been tempting to say this in other threads to all the women negatively obssessed about some part or all of their bodies that they feel doesn't measure up, Now I'm going to say it to everybody - female and male. I've had a lover who was tiny, not little but child sized (I don't know what you call that condition - his penis never grew) he was an attentive and good lover. I've had one that was to put it in the venacular, hung like a horse, he was an attentive and good lover. I'm not old but I'm older than many of you and I've talked with a lot of people, read a lot and am fairly analytical; You are lovable just as you are. Anyone who would love you, want to be with you, IF you were thinner, fleshier, had bigger this or that and smaller something else, doesn't actually care for you, they are looking for some sort of ideal. That is mind, not body.
That said, there are legitimate concerns of negative or life threatening behavior, things like; drug abuse, alcoholism, and becoming morbidly obese, that could cause someone to distance themselves because they don't want to be pulled down with you or watch you destroy yourself. Maintaining a consistantly negative self image and attitude would be on that list for many of us. Annoy has addressed this behavior by women, the constant pointing out of ones own perceived faults, constant need for reassurance, extreme insecurity, but men can exhibit this as well. That is a turn off in either gender. It is also very self centered to assume that your breasts, penis, whatever is such a focal point and issue that your life or anyone else's revolves around it. A healthy self love, ego if you will, is essential to being a successful, functional person but extremes in either direction aren't healthy. Being arrogant and self focused is an unhealthy turn off, but so is being self castigating, self hating, which is another kind of self focus.
The best lovers, have a healthy self caring and self love and know what they need but they put their focus on their partner's pleasure. They communicate, that isn't just talking but listening. They are open to learning, to doing not what pleased their last partner but what will bring the one they are with to the greatest heights. They know that the mind is the sexiest, most powerful part of the picture. When you get into bed with a partner they can feel if you are into it or not. As a woman I can say absolutely that with a man who knows what he is doing, who can build my arousal levels and bring me to orgasm repeatedly before we have intercourse, size is not a consideration. I've heard men say essentially the same thing, if they are into a woman, have been attracted to her, they find her arousing and sexy, that means everything is already just the right size and they don't notice all the 'flaws' that so many women focus on.
The point is that the trouble over size is almost entirely in the head. The one resting up on the neck, that is. There are people of both genders who never get over their size issues. That's just it - it's their issue, their concern, their problem, let go of them and let them find each other. Who, with a healthy sense of self, would want to be with someone who finds them so lacking?
There is a saying in sales, "Price is only in a consideration in the absence of value." It applies to this subject as well. What would you say, "Size is only a consideration in the absence of...?"
That said, there are legitimate concerns of negative or life threatening behavior, things like; drug abuse, alcoholism, and becoming morbidly obese, that could cause someone to distance themselves because they don't want to be pulled down with you or watch you destroy yourself. Maintaining a consistantly negative self image and attitude would be on that list for many of us. Annoy has addressed this behavior by women, the constant pointing out of ones own perceived faults, constant need for reassurance, extreme insecurity, but men can exhibit this as well. That is a turn off in either gender. It is also very self centered to assume that your breasts, penis, whatever is such a focal point and issue that your life or anyone else's revolves around it. A healthy self love, ego if you will, is essential to being a successful, functional person but extremes in either direction aren't healthy. Being arrogant and self focused is an unhealthy turn off, but so is being self castigating, self hating, which is another kind of self focus.
The best lovers, have a healthy self caring and self love and know what they need but they put their focus on their partner's pleasure. They communicate, that isn't just talking but listening. They are open to learning, to doing not what pleased their last partner but what will bring the one they are with to the greatest heights. They know that the mind is the sexiest, most powerful part of the picture. When you get into bed with a partner they can feel if you are into it or not. As a woman I can say absolutely that with a man who knows what he is doing, who can build my arousal levels and bring me to orgasm repeatedly before we have intercourse, size is not a consideration. I've heard men say essentially the same thing, if they are into a woman, have been attracted to her, they find her arousing and sexy, that means everything is already just the right size and they don't notice all the 'flaws' that so many women focus on.
The point is that the trouble over size is almost entirely in the head. The one resting up on the neck, that is. There are people of both genders who never get over their size issues. That's just it - it's their issue, their concern, their problem, let go of them and let them find each other. Who, with a healthy sense of self, would want to be with someone who finds them so lacking?
There is a saying in sales, "Price is only in a consideration in the absence of value." It applies to this subject as well. What would you say, "Size is only a consideration in the absence of...?"
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