[HURT&CONFUSED]

Help to anyone who is willing to advise. This is all new to me. I have added some of you as contacts and made friend requests because of the advise you have given. I am in love with a man that is bi and I am so confused and need help. When I first met him I had my suspicions, even asked but never got the answer that I knew in my heart. He is the love of my life and what I believe to be my soul-mate but this lifestyle of his is all so new to me. He's brought out parts of me that I never knew existed, which is good, but the problem is that I don't think that enough will ever be enough. He wants to have 3somes and all with other guys and I'd rather that than another woman to be honest. Weird enough it doesnt bother me as much as what I feel inside. I feel that although he would probably be loyal forever and would never do anything if it meant loosing what we have there is a sadness inside of me for him that he is always going to live life without truly being happy. I want him to have everything he wants I just don't know if I can go the distance with him. We are the best lovers ever. Amazing beyond words and it never stops but something within me is just so sad for him and I dont know that I will ever be good at sharing. Then there is the whole disease thing and all. Anyhow, any advise would be greatly appreciated. We talk about it all the time but I just need some other opinions. Thanks so much and if I added you as a contact or if you have any advise please please let me know.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It is evident that you love him, to bits.

And, it seems that you in one way want him to have all that he is, in another, you just don't feel you can play a part of it.

Also you don't want him to cheat and so he has suggested it happen with you, but i can understand why you couldn't watch that and be a part of that.

If you feel that he is bi- in as much as he will somewhere along the line want to experience another Man but obviously wants you in his life, as his only person, I guess you have to bite the bullet and maybe suggest that if he needs to do that "once in a while" and providing there is protection then go ahead and do so but not with me in the picture.

It's a hard call, because I assume you have a great communication going, therefore you would expect him to tell you and I'm not sure how I would feel, if that was me, or even allowing it in my home, without me in that room, just knowing.

How would you feel?

CW

[HURT&CONFUSED]

First let me say you are awesome. I have read a lot of your responses. I really dont know how to do all this. The post is gone already and I put a thumbs down thinking it was a question mark. lol at myself. I love this man. As freaky and kinky as it is we enjoy everything together and I guess as messed up as it is I wouldnt mind being a part of it. That is the only way he said it would ever happen. It's the aftermath I guess. What happens if and or when he likes it? What if he really is more gay than bi and just cant deal with society as a whole? Thats the sad part for me. I love him that much that I want him to be true to himself and I dont know if he ever will and I dont know to be honest with myself how long I can keep up with a lifestyle like that. Its all too much sometimes. Make sense? I'm so lost. Would like it if you could keep in touch I dont think this contact thing is working and like I said now the post is gone. Thanks so much for answering

[CHANDLERS WISH]

First let me say you are awesome. I have read a lot of your responses. I really dont know how to do all this. The post is gone already and I put a thumbs down thinking it was a question mark. lol at myself. I love this man. As freaky and kinky as it is we enjoy everything together and I guess as messed up as it is I wouldnt mind being a part of it. That is the only way he said it would ever happen. It's the aftermath I guess. What happens if and or when he likes it? What if he really is more gay than bi and just cant deal with society as a whole? Thats the sad part for me. I love him that much that I want him to be true to himself and I dont know if he ever will and I dont know to be honest with myself how long I can keep up with a lifestyle like that. Its all too much sometimes. Make sense? I'm so lost. Would like it if you could keep in touch I dont think this contact thing is working and like I said now the post is gone. Thanks so much for answering

Well, I think firstly that it's great that you feel that way and he's obviously found the perfect partner, one that can enjoy things he enjoys and accepts and also would "like it"...

Aftermath? What if I get run over by a car tomorrow, What if I turn Gay? lol. Who knows in other words what tomorrow brings?

Let's say that does happen and he decides that he is actually more Gay than Bi, well that's life is it not? And, so you have shared a soul one that you loved and visa versa, a meeting for a reason, and I would imagine seeing as I know a few Gay Guys that you will be able to and you will remain "brother and sister" style friendships for the rest of your life, which kind of means "forever", and you will be able to deal with that...

Life is what it is, never worry about tomorrow, only worry about today and never look back at past...

LOL - I will try to see what I can do but you may have to hang around and play a humor game over and over or something, until you reach around 33 posts, then you can send Private Messages and I believe Visitors Messages, that can talk you all of 1 day, if you can fathom it, and you can do it, because we can do anything in life we chose to do.



CW

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I've discussed the subject in other threads, just search for bisexual and I'm sure there'll be lots of opinions to read...

It sounds like you're quite keyed into his psychological state, which I'm sure makes for a great relationship.

However, what I would say, is this: You worry about him not living all his fantasies to the fullest, but this is always the case in any relationship. There is no single partner in the world who could fulfill all of their partners desires, everyone has crevices in their mind, unexplored fantasies. Do you think any married man could honestly say that given a moral blank cheque that they wouldn't be out humping as many young girls as they could get their hands on? When someone becomes a part of someones life their life intrinsically alters. They will live different experiences and turn out differently because of it. The thing is, that this is true whether that person is straight, bisexual or gay. With your rationale, you couldn't ever be involved with anyone, because as soon as you were you'd be limiting their possible activities and encounters in their life. And somehow, through this, relationships still work, so I think you're over-analysing things.

[HURT&CONFUSED]

THANK YOU SO MUCH. This is all very helpful. I did get the add on thanks CW. I appreciate this site. It just has so many things to communicate about. All of this is just all so confusing to the heart. I do agree whatever will be will be. All I can do is just wait and see what heppens. THank you again so much.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Anon
When someone becomes a part of someones life their life intrinsically alters. They will live different experiences and turn out differently because of it. The thing is, that this is true whether that person is straight, bisexual or gay.

I kind of also agree with this, that being we are all different people, with many different thoughts, beliefs, desires and no one person, will be able to fulfill all of those in partnership.

But, no one person, should dis-allow the other to not be truly whom they are...

CW

[SorridLives]

Help to anyone who is willing to advise. This is all new to me. I have added some of you as contacts and made friend requests because of the advise you have given. I am in love with a man that is bi and I am so confused and need help. When I first met him I .....

I don't have much to add but will say- be sure of what you want. You said you didn't think you could go through with this relationship. So, what is making you think that? Do you think he wants more than you? You are already having threesomes. Is that okay with you or are you doing it for him? You really need to make yourself happy first, then worry about his happiness second. If you are not happy, you will not be happy with him, IMO. You can't live for him.

[SorridLives]

Addendum: Sorry...I guess he wants threesomes...and you haven't had them yet. *Sounds like* you don't really want to though. Again, I would say that you should only do what you would want to do for yourself, as well as him....not just for him.

[Ogre]

I believe humans are meant to have that one person that we want to spend our lives with. You deserve to have that. If that is what you have with this man then keep him to yourself. It doesn't make a difference that he is bi, once you find your soulmate you stop having relationships with other people. If he feels the same for you then your search is over. If he doesn't then it is just the beginning and he was a stop along the way.

Sorry for being so dramatic.