[WowWhoKnew]

Depends on if you are more interested in being selfish or being a blessing to her. If you are able to bless her on your own - Awesome! If not...

[Wednesday L.F.]

I’m not clear what using a sex toy or not has to do with selfishness.

[MrMr]

I’m not clear what using a sex toy or not has to do with selfishness.

Exactly. If sex can be made better with toys then why wouldn't you? How else can you do multiple things at once?

[pearlvibe]

Hey there! I totally get your dilemma. A vibrator can be an amazing way to spice things up, but it’s understandable to worry it could create distance between you two as well. My advice? Don’t overthink it! Try out a vibe together with your wife - make it about enhancing your intimacy, not replacing it. I’d highly recommend something like [link removed by mod]. It has a unique tapping motion to simulate a lover's fingers, plus rumbling vibrations and rabbit ears to stimulate the clitoris. Having a toy like the Rabbit Tapping G-spot Vibrator to play with together could be just the fun novelty you need to reconnect physically and emotionally. And don't worry, you won't get jealous of a piece of silicone! The vibe is just a toy to enhance your shared pleasure, not a substitute for you. So relax, have fun exploring new sensations together, and let a toy like the Rabbit Tapping G-spot Vibrator bring you closer as a couple. Just be sure to clean it properly and store it discreetly so the kids don't find it! As for my first sex toy...let's just say it was a lot more basic and unsatisfying than the high-tech options available today! ?

[WowWhoKnew]

I’m not clear what using a sex toy or not has to do with selfishness.

Sex toys are not being selfish. Just the opposite. The question was would you encourage a man to buy a vibe for his wife. If the man is more than enough for her, no need for a vibe. If the man is not, then of course buy a vibe or something to help out. The selfishness would be if the man is not considering how best to be a blessing to his wife. We know men who are afraid of sex toys replacing them. That's crazy but I get it.

My husband and I never used vibes until recently. We had been slipping sexually and we both knew it, for many reasons. When he suggested new and different Christmas presents this year I was immediately aroused. Something so different, so out of the box for us. I was scared, it was amazing! He took me on a 2nd honeymoon where we played for 9 days with our new gadgets. He wasn't intimidated by any of them and there were several that could have been very intimidating. We are older, he recognized a need for help, and girl oh girl did he ever go above and beyond! Sometimes you just need a little helping hand, or two, or three, or more (finger, hand, device, penis, machine, and so forth).

[MrMr]

I happily use toys because I want to not because I need to. And if someone wants to have DP then a toy is needed

[MeLuvCookies]

I bought my wife a remote control WeVibe couples vibrator, waterproof, can be used in the shower, can be controlled with an iPhone app (which could have some questionable privacy and hacking consequences but whatever) like everything about it sounded awesome thought it would be great addition to our relationship and way for her to explore and get comfortable with herself so she can help me better dial in learning what she likes and how to give her what she likes. Yeah it has sat unopened in the box for like 8 years she said she wanted something to try until I actually got her something to try and then she refuses to even try it. She actually said recently that she has never masturbated which is hard to believe and thinks the idea of it is gross and made some statement to the effect of only a woman who is a ***** would masturbate. Like I swear to God she isn't religious, she isn't conservative, she wasn't uptight or prudish when I met her or got married. But she has turned into like an extra from the Handmaid's Tale and I'm here like trying to be the sex and kink positive one. It is a crazy dynamic sometimes and super frustrating. But if your wife isn't inhibited then everything about the WeVibe couples vibrator, I think it was the WeVibe 3 or 4, sounded absolutely perfect. It is even shaped to give both G Spot and Clit stimulation while supposedly still allowing intercourse to be possible. Never got to try so can't vouch of it but in theory it sounds like the perfect addition to an intimate relationship.