[ShereeBee]

Hi,

I've recently started having sex with a guy i've been on numerous dates with. This guy is hot. Seriously, the fittest guy i've ever laid eyes on, and I really want to keep my claws into him!!

We're practicing safe sex and using condoms (which I hate but hey ho) I am on the pill but I haven't told him that because I dont want to start having unprotected sex with someone I don't know REALLY well just yet.

The only problem is that when using condoms, my natural lubrication just seems to dry up really quickly, which makes sex quite uncomfortable and is preventing me from reaching orgasm. It's never like that without them.

He's a really nice guy and has openly discussed condoms with me and birth control. He's 33 and we've been dating for a number of weeks. I am hoping this will progress into a relationship and can ditch the condoms eventually.

I wanted to try using some lubrication, but i'm only 25 and feel like an old dried up spinster raising the subject with him!! is it normal to need lubrication with condoms after you've been going at it for a while? How would be the best way to raise the subject?

Advice appreciated!

[DreamP346]

Lube, lube, lube. Doesn't matter your age. Many people use it, especially when it comes to condoms.

[jns]

Try a number of different lubes to find one that works best with you. There are different formulas and your body may react to some of them. Further, some are thick and others are thin.

[Magnetism]

I have never heard of the idea of lube being a taboo. I just figured it enhances the experience. Nothing wrong with adding things that add to your experience. I agree with jns on certain lubes. I stick with astroglide. Some of the lubes I've gotten at sex stores are weird.

[shoshannah]

I am always pretty dry at certain times of the month even when I'm excited, and I'm younger than you are. The reason why there are so many lubes out there is because a lot of people need them. Use them!

[lizzardb63]

Are you just worried what he's going to think if you bring up the idea of Lube? Or are you nervous about the idea of using lube all together?? You can always start out with a fun sented or warming lube to spice things up. That won't scream "HEY I'M DRY!" I use lube every time. If I have sex without it, even without condoms, I eventually get dry and it begins to hurt. He's 33...I'm sure he's had his experiences and will completely understand. Perhaps he prefers it himself and is too shy to say, ya never know. I think lube would enhance sex on both ends of the deal. Give it a shot. I know that KY has a warming lube that smells like cinnimon and it can also be used as a massage oil. Two in one- so fun!

[Hugo-B]

I really want to keep my claws into him!!

Getting pregnant will be the best way to achieve that! ^^^ Solves the condom problem too, two birds, one stone...

Seriously though: lube is not taboo at all, especially if you're using condoms. It will make it more pleasurable for both of you.

Whilst we all know sex is more pleasurable without a condom, I think men actually resect women who take precautions; I think the onus falls on women because men - once excited, are thinking with their little head and not their big one - which means they're going to act even more stupid than usual, leaving the woman to take charge and sometimes feeling like a bit of a kill-joy, or the 'condom police'. This is a shame because its good that at least one person is thinking sensibly.

One thing which will make it more pleasurable for him is to either put loads of lube on his penis before you put the condom on, alternatively a really wet BJ will do it - this, done properly makes it feel (for him) like he's not wearing a condom. A girl showed me this trick and I kept stopping to check thinking the condom had come off or split to pieces.

[lizzardb63]

One thing which will make it more pleasurable for him is to either put loads of lube on his penis before you put the condom on, alternatively a really wet BJ will do it - this, done properly makes it feel (for him) like he's not wearing a condom. A girl showed me this trick and I kept stopping to check thinking the condom had come off or split to pieces.

Just make sure this doesn't cause the condom to slip off during sex...it can happen.

[lizzardb63]

Oh! And double check to be sure the lube is compatible with latex!

[Guest]

Latex causes dryness for a lot of people.

Lube rules!! Keep in mind that more is not necessarily better....In addition, it offers an opportunity for more interaction from your partner, changing positions, gives you a break, etc.

Keep using the birth control too. A condom helps to protect you from getting anything from him while birth control helps prevent you from getting pregnant by him.

When you decide that it's right to ditch the condoms, for whatever reason, go together and get checked for all things STD. Any man who truly cares about you should be willing to do so. If not, then dump him!

Congrats on the relationship! I hope things keep going well with and without your clothes on!!