[CHANDLERS WISH]

she projects a lot on me, threatening my happiness am well being and pushing my progress I have made these few years back.

In my opinion, as hard as it is, toxic situations on-going threatening all your hard work, sending you backwards is not an option.

It is not your fault if she has not made new friends, found happiness within herself, nor your fault if she is un-happy with her career if you have stood by her and encouraged her.

How long is a piece of string? IDK.

[Mark42088]

How long is a piece of string indeed.. It hurts me to know I have to put my foot down, I just want to put it down as easily and as non destructive to herself as possible. I wish I was that piece she was missing, I thought having me in her life to encourage her and give her the confidence and encouragement she deserves would have helped her. But I think she took all the string I gave her, Nd is tying a noose with it

I love her so much, I just wish I could have done more, but I can't help one who doesn't want help.

And this whole deep conversation started with me asking what I can do to encourage my girlfriend to start masturbating and not to think f it as such taboo

[DreamP346]

Before walking away, I would give it one more shot. Have a serious heart-to-heart talk. Not during sex. Not when any sex is expected. Be calm and clear. Explain that you want to be there for her but she needs to want to change. You need a partner that will be there for you and be a true partner, romantically, sexually, financially, and emotionally. Not somebody who will put you down and call the things that you want to do together as "disgusting." If she is not willing to see the issues in communication between you two as well as her own issues surrounding sex, you can't continue with this relationship. Give her the opportunity to come to therapy with you. If she still refuses, then you have your answer.

[Mark42088]

How long is a piece of string indeed.. It hurts me to know I have to put my foot down, I just want to put it down as easily and as non destructive to herself as possible. I wish I was that piece she was missing, I thought having me in her life to encourage her and give her the confidence and encouragement she deserves would have helped her. But I think she took all the string I gave her, Nd is tying a noose with it

I love her so much, I just wish I could have done more, but I can't help one who doesn't want help.

And this whole deep conversation started with me asking what I can do to encourage my girlfriend to start masturbating and not to think f it as such taboo

[Motorguy]

How long is a piece of string indeed.. It hurts me to know I have to put my foot down, I just want to put it down as easily and as non destructive to herself as possible. I wish I was that piece she was missing, I thought having me in her life to encourage her and give her the confidence and encouragement she deserves would have helped her. But I think she took all the string I gave her, Nd is tying a noose with it

I love her so much, I just wish I could have done more, but I can't help one who doesn't want help.

And this whole deep conversation started with me asking what I can do to encourage my girlfriend to start masturbating and not to think f it as such taboo

Well Mark it all comes down on how she was raised that masturbation in her home was seen as taboo. It sound like this is a deal breaker with you about the masturbation with the relationship if you really love her then this maybe the one thing you over look with her and move on. Some time masturbation is a personal thing with them that they do private only not in front of others or there mate just a thought.

[HerHusband]

Run. Run fast. I also have wonder how your friends know how much you masturbate? After reading your second post I also wonder WTF is it about people in big cities that are so disconnected from the rest of the population.

[Mark42088]

Well my friend have been my friend since elementary school, and we always joke about that stuff, and the fact that I have a terabyte of pornography on my external hard drive lol

Regarding the comment about big cities being disconnected from the rest of the population, what was that in regards to?

I don't want to seem shallow, which I don't think I am, but the thought that her madturbation as a "deal breaker" is a little harsh. It all has the broader issue of our sexual prowess and knowing how to pleasure urself.

I brought it up again last night, and said that its a lot of pressure on me if the only time you have a chance to orgasm is during intercourse, because she doesn't orgasm very often but doesn't seem that upset about it.

She said I need to change my way of thinking. If I think that my girlfriend should satisfy herself to orgasm in addition to intercourse, then any girl I am with will cheat on me. She talks like It is my job to suit her every need, i sort of agree with this, but we are not robots or orgasm machines. If she doesn't orgasm, she should be fine with just satisfying me and if she needs to finish on her own then what's the big deal.. Wow I am sounding really narcesistic.. What do u think about that?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

the fact that I have a terabyte of pornography on my external hard drive lol

It's funny. But, from what I have read over the years this seems to me to be quite factual. That, is that those that watch porn want their women to become real life in some of those situations and those women who know their men watch porn and don't like it, tend to hide within themselves as they feel they are not good enough.

Just a thought, even if she doesn't know, you don't really know that...

[Mark42088]

Yea I feel ya, just for perspective, are you a female chandlers wish?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I guess my avatar is a bit small huh

Yep, Aussie woman, double your age but feel 36 and that's a recent shot.

I'm not against porn, just for the reference, if it doesn't interfere in my relationship, I'm quite broad minded but I am also assertive and love myself (not up myself) if you know what I mean so I don't have jealousy, or insecurities.

Based on " I feel ya" I am wondering whether you have to build her self esteem more, let her feel you more as in love... Hard to do, but sometimes they come out of it as that at the end of the day is what everyone wants in life right?