Hi there
*Trigger warning - this content contains sensitive information*
I wanted to come on here today to share my journey on using dilators in order to help relax my pelvic muscles. Sadly, it all started many years ago when I was sexually assaulted which caused my muscles to tense up every time I tried to be intimate with my partner, and from then on my journey in being comfortable to have sex with my partner just got more complicated. I felt depressed, I lost hope and I thought I would never be able to comfront my fears as my body would react and go into fight or flight mode with every touch.
But hear I am today after battling with Vaginismus and Mixed LUTS for many years, which I believe was brought on by me relapsing when using my dilators and also trauma related. To now being comfortable and content in having pain free sex. I never believed it until today, and I never thought I would heal, but today was the day I went a size up without any pain, my bladder getting easier without any pain, and being relaxed in my body when being intimate and role playing. I believe this will be the deal breaker of my bladder condition which has made me super chuffed as I have been in pain for the past two years.
It's certainly been a rollercoaster of emotions. There were days where I would ball up and cry, or I would throw my dilator across the room because it wouldnt go in.
My biggest fear was never being able to have kids, but here I am from someone that was too frightened to have anything inside of me, to now using a size 4 dilator and not being afraid of penetration. My dream is to be a family of three and I will keep on going until I reach my goal.
Please don't ever give up on your body it takes time. Practice always makes perfect x
Love K
*Trigger warning - this content contains sensitive information*
I wanted to come on here today to share my journey on using dilators in order to help relax my pelvic muscles. Sadly, it all started many years ago when I was sexually assaulted which caused my muscles to tense up every time I tried to be intimate with my partner, and from then on my journey in being comfortable to have sex with my partner just got more complicated. I felt depressed, I lost hope and I thought I would never be able to comfront my fears as my body would react and go into fight or flight mode with every touch.
But hear I am today after battling with Vaginismus and Mixed LUTS for many years, which I believe was brought on by me relapsing when using my dilators and also trauma related. To now being comfortable and content in having pain free sex. I never believed it until today, and I never thought I would heal, but today was the day I went a size up without any pain, my bladder getting easier without any pain, and being relaxed in my body when being intimate and role playing. I believe this will be the deal breaker of my bladder condition which has made me super chuffed as I have been in pain for the past two years.
It's certainly been a rollercoaster of emotions. There were days where I would ball up and cry, or I would throw my dilator across the room because it wouldnt go in.
My biggest fear was never being able to have kids, but here I am from someone that was too frightened to have anything inside of me, to now using a size 4 dilator and not being afraid of penetration. My dream is to be a family of three and I will keep on going until I reach my goal.
Please don't ever give up on your body it takes time. Practice always makes perfect x
Love K
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