[lilyfighting]

Since my pregnancy and childbirth, our sex life has become difficult. I feel very tired every night due to the high pressure of work as well. Even if I want to have sex sometimes, my vagina is dry and it is very difficult and even painful to have sex. We have tried to bring some toys to spice things up, such as we bought each other vibrators, **** rings and masturbators from [link removed by mod] At first, we felt very excited and happy for a while, but after a while we started to get bored. What should we do?

[Wednesday L.F.]

I guess first you’ll have to decide if your issue is ED, (as you mentioned in a previous post) or the vaginal dryness in this one. Then, you’ll want to observe our rule about not posting outside links. Thanks.

[MrMr]

I hate having sex at night. Especially if I'm in getting ready for sleep mode. Sex during the day is the best. It also doesn't need to be sex. Mutual masturbation is a hot quick fix. After my kid we jerked each other in the kitchen, the car or the bathroom.

When my ex wasn't in the mood immediately after giving birth she would give me hand jobs and bjs. It's what made her feel more physically comfortable because I loved her body. There is nothing more attractive than the woman who birthed your child. We are separated now but sex is always on the cards

[muffinsappletree]

I was really sexually active before I had my first child birth. Its like the doctor took out the horny in me or some thing. Plus with the side effects of IUD and pills, I have become devoid of sex. I sometimes feel bad about my bf because I feel tired all the time and don't have the drive to engage sexually. I know that this is becoming a problem but I really have no idea how to fix this. I've looked at tons of article and they say that it goes away with time. 4 years and another kid later and its still the same.

[Wednesday L.F.]

Medication can certainly impact sex drive, but that’s usually temporary. Does your regular doctor have any insight?

One of the most vital things is to determine if your lack of drive is strictly physical (certainly tiredness plays a part), emotional, or mental. It may be a combination but knowing the cause can go a long way toward finding a solution.

[muffinsappletree]

Medication can certainly impact sex drive, but that’s usually temporary. Does your regular doctor have any insight?

One of the most vital things is to determine if your lack of drive is strictly physical (certainly tiredness plays a part), emotional, or mental. It may be a combination but knowing the cause can go a long way toward finding a solution.

You’re right that it’s worth digging deeper into whether this is physical, emotional, or a mix of both. I’ve talked to my doctor briefly about it, but they mostly brushed it off as ‘normal postpartum adjustment’ or blamed my IUD.

The tiredness is definitely a huge factor (parenting two little ones is no joke), but I also wonder if there’s more to it, like hormonal shifts or even just the mental load of everything. I still use some of my toys to get off but when it comes to the real thing, I get nothing off of it.

I’m open to trying anything at this point, whether it’s lifestyle changes, therapy, or even revisiting birth control options.

Thanks again for the thoughtful reply, it helps to feel heard.

?

[Wednesday L.F.]

If it’s been years, that’s more than a ‘normal adjustment period.’
if your regular doc isn’t more helpful than that, it may be time to seek out another. If you have Planned Parenthood in your area, they have sliding scale fees and an empathetic staff. Therapy is also available online. Maybe a free initial consult could give you ideas.

it may be that you need different types of stimulation, erotic reading or viewing…that sort of thing.