[Ahryin]

CW I was born and raised for the most part in NYC....so yea...I'm cautious!

[mr.mansview]

Yes but i'm worried not only for her well being mentally but her health. Like I told her just because you use condoms does NOT protect you from every S.T.D!

Even though I consider myself very sexual and open I am also very picky with whom I give the good goods to!

I want a drug test
STD test
Notarized letter from yo momma regarding your character and how you treated her
A hair specimin (just in case I have to track you down and need DNA)
References
Proof of Income
Proof of Residency
School Transcripts!

LOL

what no finger prints and a mug shot?..and u thot u were thorough

[WildChild]

It really is a c shoot these days. When I was dating some years ago, I ran into a string of married men - no thank you. Sorting the chaff from the wheat is difficult. Then finding out if you are sexually compatable without catching anything adds to the fun. Factor in the nut cases, it really was a whole lot easier back in the early 70s
The judgementalism that still exsits doesn't help either.

For me this whole issue is a big motivator to find a way to make what I have into what I want and need. I truly dislike having 'protected' sex. We were tested and knew we were both clean first and he's had a vasectomy. I'm really limited on BC, can't take the pill because of clotting, can't use a diaphram because of allergies to the gel and I really don't like condoms, I have to use lube with them and the whole thing just doesn't feel right.
Life certainly has gotten complicated!

[mr.mansview]

personally i would wonder if this is her common practice..so what if he opens doors,pulls out chairs and pays 4 dinner..that's what a guy is supposed to do..that's what i do and i certainly don't expect sex as a reward..on a 1st date i would turn down the sex and not call her again..
she needs more respect 4 herself..

[Hopeless Dork]

You just never know... Me and my boyfriend knew each other a couple of weeks casually before our first date, we had a lot of chemistry before that date and had gotten to know each other quite a bit. We did take it pretty far and though no intercourse, we did some pretty intimate things that even some married couples don't do :P It could have made me look bad in his eyes , I can see that...

But it didn't. I guess maybe because we knew each other before then and already knew we liked each other it was an easy transission. But I can see how meeting a guy at a bar , flirting a little and taking them home would be perceived differently and might not have the fairy tail ending in the majority of cases.

[Possibilities]

If she does not look down on the guy for sleeping with her on the first then there is no reason he should look down on her. The way I see it, if someone looks down on me for doing something they themselves participated in there is some severely flawed logic at play. If she wanted to have sex there is absolutely no reason she should have falsely held him at bay under the pretence that females are the pure and chaste gatekeepers of sexual relationships. That is absolutely ridiculous! The one point I might agree with as far as waiting is the fact that it sounds like they met on the internet or something. I would be wary of jumping into bed with someone who I had absolutely no previous connection with. But as for telling her to “keep her legs closed”, that sounds a bit pretentious and is a low blow rather than the communication of genuine concern.

PS: STI testing generally does not catch things such as HPV, warts and herpes unless there is a current outbreak, so it is essentially as useful/useless as using condoms in that regard.

[OG612]

It's true, I think that in a guys mind if you sleep with him he first night you will sleep with others the first night and there is also no chase, no whooing, nothing to look forward to in converstation the next day as far as flirting goes...

For your stereotypical player, those statements are true. But for a man of quality and value, not necessarily true. Yes, I routinely sleep with women on the first date. It's no big deal. We're both responsible adults who are looking to end the night (or even start it! ) with an orgasm. Just because we're physically intimate with women relatively fast doesn't mean that we're not going to give up the "thrill of the hunt" just because we got the goodies on the first night. For me, if she's intelligent and has an amazing personality, that'll keep me coming back for me. Then again, I'm not your average bear.

I also think it's old fashioned to assume that you can't have love at first sight, sleep together and be together for years to come... But, that depends on alot of things prior to as well.

I don't believe in "love at first sight" but definitely "lust at first sight." I do agree with the rest of your statement here.

For the OP, for someone who says she's "open and sexual" you seem to be rather judgmental which kind of negates your claims of openness. Did your friend make a mistake? Not in my view. It's only a "mistake" if she thinks she made one. Then again, I also believe that right, wrong, good, and bad are just value placements on whatever is relative to our own beliefs and/or morals. I also don't believe in lying to a woman to get in her pants. I think your friend's date was an honest, charming gentleman. I also think that your friend had such an amazing time she wanted end the night with an amazing experience to make a perfect date even better.

OG

[Guest]

Bad move in my opinion. Besides all of the worries of STD's and the like, if a woman is willing to have sex with me the first night I meet her, she's automatically crossed off the list.

You can't help but to think, okay...if she's doing this with me, how many other one night stands has she had?

[Ahryin]

what no finger prints and a mug shot?..and u thot u were thorough

See...here you go giving me even more ideas!!!!! I have to keep that soda can next time so I can have the fingerprints lifted off....darn

[Ahryin]

bad move in my opinion. Besides all of the worries of std's and the like, if a woman is willing to have sex with me the first night i meet her, she's automatically crossed off the list.

You can't help but to think, okay...if she's doing this with me, how many other one night stands has she had?

thankkkkkkk youuuuuu!!!!!!!