[kygirl]

Don't let the past dictate how you feel about someone in the future.

Just sit back, chill out and go with the flow. If the chemistry is there, that's a good thing. Don't wait for something bad to happen, that's a sure fire way to kill a good thing.

I do agree with WC though, until the dust settles on his marriage and divorce, try not to get too attached, although, I'm kind of wondering how that is going to go...

Ha ha Thanks Lana...it's going horribly (the not getting attached). I'm trying to stay somewhat objective, but this is the most not objective I've felt in a long time. Honestly though, it has reminded me of what dating someone *should* be like. I think I've tried to convince myself I like certain people because I should for so long that I was about ready to settle and tell myself that there was no possible way I'd ever find someone who could really be what I wanted AND needed....

It's nice to know I might have been wrong

[KMonte85]

I can see why you would become paranoid. You're starting to become invested emotionally, and although it seems that his relationship is completely over with the ex, it is still a bit of a risk to start something new with someone who still has some loose ends to tie up with the past.

You're just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. That is only natural...


I think it is a great sign that you are very upfront with each other about your feelings, thoughts and expectations. If you full on trust that he is being open and honest with you, then allow yourself to relax and just enjoy the time you're spending with each other.

[kygirl]

Well then, isn't it time for the two of you to rock each other's world?

I sure hope so He's definitely managed to completely change my way of thinking. I don't remember the last time I felt this good in general or about myself honestly

[kygirl]

I can see why you would become paranoid. You're starting to become invested emotionally, and although it seems that his relationship is completely over with the ex, it is still a bit of a risk to start something new with someone who still has some loose ends to tie up with the past.

You're just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. That is only natural...


I think it is a great sign that you are very upfront with each other about your feelings, thoughts and expectations. If you full on trust that he is being open and honest with you, then allow yourself to relax and just enjoy the time you're spending with each other.

I do trust him. I did kind of ask around about him with some other people I've trusted for a while now, and I couldn't find anyone that said anything bad about him. His downfall is that he works alot and he's in school obviously, but I'm doing the exact same thing, so I can't say anything on that. The upside is we can have study dates at least And he is very supportive of me doing well in school, etc.

[Guest]

maybe you should take a step back from it and evaluate what you are doing. I mean it seemed like you had made a choice between 2 guys. now a third shows up and you are ready to toss the other 2. what if a 4th shows up?

do you know what it is you want or are looking for? if not, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to jump into something new.

[kygirl]

maybe you should take a step back from it and evaluate what you are doing. I mean it seemed like you had made a choice between 2 guys. now a third shows up and you are ready to toss the other 2. what if a 4th shows up?

do you know what it is you want or are looking for? if not, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to jump into something new.

Sperosi,

I had two guys who were each a part of what I wanted, but neither was both things. I had finally decided to just keep dating the one who had the most important aspect in hopes that the other parts would come out of his personality. This "new" guy isn't just a new guy. He's someone I've known for an extended period of time and always respected and enjoyed talking to, but just on a friend level previously.

So, yes. I know what I want, but I had convinced myself that I couldn't find it all in one person. I was actively trying to find someone, then J came out of nowhere and asked me to dinner. I knew as soon as that first date was over, that I'd like to date him. I had no hesitations, no convincing myself that even though he was missing something it'd be okay.

I was about to settle. Not because I didn't know what I wanted, but I and everyone else I know had me convinced that maybe I was just expecting too much. Now I know that it is out there. J was both guys in one package.

[Guest]

ok thats fair, I guess. just dont jump too quick. what are you planning on doing about the first guy you had picked?

[kygirl]

ok thats fair, I guess. just dont jump too quick. what are you planning on doing about the first guy you had picked?

I already talked to him. The day after our date, I gave him a call, and basically told him that I enjoyed his company, but I really thought that ultimately, we'd be much better friends. I told him, I was hoping there would be more there, but I just didn't see it going any further, and I didn't want to continue to date him and possibly keep him from meeting someone else that would be crazy about him. He deserved that.

He was very nice about it, and said he wouldn't want me to keep dating him either if I didn't feel the same way.