[zebraman]

Hello Everyone, This is a bit long,
I am an average guy in need of help and advice. So I little about me: I am a 25 year old man, was borne in South Africa, came to the states when I was 11years old and have lived all over the USA. I have met so many interesting people and done a lot at my age. I am confident, caring, fit, tall and funny. I have a house car and a good job. Sounds great right?

So the truth is that meeting all those really cool people is great, but saying goodbye sucks, saying goodbye to all my extended family sucks, making all those friends then moving to another state is very hard to adjust to. Long story short I have been missing out on love, been on auto pilot for way to long, you could say scared to put myself out there. I really thought that a girl would only be interested in me if I had money and stuff.
So let’s see, instead of trying to find a relationship in high school I became more of a one night stand kinda guy, yea a player, along with the accent and the people skills. And to all of you reading this out there I really do feel bad about using girls and staying emotionally detached.

Fast forward to about a year ago, and I was content and happy for the most part. Right up to the point that I met a Beautiful young girl that started working at my favorite video store. I can still remember the first time we made eye contact. This pretty little cruse missile shot me out of the sky. So I approached her like any other girl and started talking to her and found out we had a lot in common. All the signs were there she liked me. I feel like I am 15 again, talking about this. After a couple of weeks I gave her my number, and we talked off an on, and even made plans to hangout when she got a chance.

So with that said, I turned into the complete opposite kind of guy, I was so eager to hangout with this girl, I made all of the stupid mistakes, like a insecure 15year old would. I texted her way to much, sent her emails, called her too much, etc… I can’t believe I acted so desperate, like all those years of being alone had caught up with me. And I had to learn the hard way. So the one girl I really had feelings for now thought I was a complete loon.

The Question I have now is it has been almost a year since we stopped talking, I never was disrespectful to her, and ended it wishing her the best. But Wow did that hurt! I stopped going to that video store for a month and later returned. Just renting movies, and not talking. I also made it pretty clear that I was only renting movies there. Yea it sucked but I eventually got over it and have been dating other girls, off and on, until the other day when I went in to rent a movie or two and instead of avoiding me she smiled and talked to me. I returned the greeting and we talked about nothing for little, and again the other day.

So do I try my luck again, I think I have come along way since then, I have learned a lot about what I did wrong, and I am looking for a long term relationship. Do I go for it or do I leave her alone, or keep it friendly. What should I do???

[LanaBear]

Why was there a goodbye with her in the first place?

[mm1991]

Talk to her, what can you lose? Take it easy, be cool.

So you came accross someone you care. But don't get too excited, may be she is not who you think she is. May be you just hope she is. So chill, be cool. Meet other girls, carry on with life. But talk to her by all means. It may lead to something and than it may not. Relax... and good luck.

[zebraman]

Why was there a goodbye with her in the first place?




I think i was moving way to fast, and it freaked her out

[mm1991]

So don't move too fast. Chill.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'd play it cool for a month, just rent your movies, talk and smile, and leave it at that, so that she is "curious", of what your thinking and she will make the move, by either talking longer to you, asking to "hang out". But, that's the thing, hanging out is different from "dating"...

It could be that she was attracted to you but at that stage only viewed you as a potential but also a friend to start with and your actions creeped her out Stalking style.. (mean't in the nicest possible way)....

So, by you doing anything now, you haven't established what she's thinking but by playing the friend card and keeping your thoughts to yourself (for now), may make her want to see a different side of you now.

Let her open up when she is ready, she will either say, I really only liked you then as a friend, so you know, or she will say, you creeped me out but I was interested firstly, and your different now...

In my opinion if you just sit back and view "friendship", only at this stage and let it progress where it is meant to or is not meant to "naturally", would be my call.

It's like a second chance.....

[Ahryin]

I agree with CW but I would let her make the move. Girls like mysterious guys and you probably came off like a potential stalker. So cool out, if you need to strike up a convo ask about her movie picks tell her you have almost seen everything under the sun have been working hard and you need a couple of laughs just want to hang out on your own or whatever and ask what movie she would suggest. Little things like that but nothing serious. Try to always smell good, look clean etc. You can gadge her interest by the type of questions she asks for instance if she asks if you are watching movies alone or attempts to flirt...think cool..calm..colletive (aka 007)

[zebraman]

Thanks for the replies so far and don’t hold back, tell me exactly what you think, it can only help me learn

I know this my sound cheesy but, with this girl I feel like it doesn’t matter if we are just friends, I like her for the person she is.

And I was under the impression there were no such thing a second chances

[CHANDLERS WISH]

And I was under the impression there were no such thing a second chances

Yessum, there is such a thing.

And, don't chicken out... because you don't want to get dumped by her again, be tough

But, let her do the moves this time if they are going to happen, either in friendship or more...

CW