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  • hintoflime
    Member
    • Feb 2010
    • 16

    I just need some opinions re: parents

    So yesterday I was telling my boyfriend that my mom said she isn't ready to meet him and he said he doesn't want to meet her. I laughed and asked why and he said because it is awkward. I don't think much of it. I know it is too soon to meet her anyways - at least for me. Should I worry about it? I tend to worry too much as it is. I think eventually he will ease into the idea of meeting her. It doesn't seem like a red flag to me at the moment because like I said it is soon for us. I just want opinions.
  • pretzel
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 1557

    Maybe I'm different, but I would want to meet the people my kids are dating. Not to overtly judge them but because my kids are important to me and the people they spend time with met with open arms.

    Comment

    • Janster
      Member
      • Jan 2010
      • 52

      Don't rush it...... relax and enjoy your relationship. It's hard enough to build a solid relationship alone without the pressure of parents & such.

      Give it time......

      Comment

      • CHANDLERS WISH
        • Mar 2008
        • 22440

        I think it's because you are saying "boyfriend". That's scary for a Mum, she would be thinking all sorts of things if you know what I mean

        Sounds as if he's a tad nervous too and if it's a very young relationship, then it's not here or there yet.

        Maybe though I would be saying to Mum, seeing as she is ok with you having a boyfriend, that you'd like to introduce "all" friends to her, it's important to you, and if it becomes a relationship well so be it, but she's your "best friend" and whilst you don't need her approval, you'd love her excitement/sharing with you..

        That I do think is important.

        CW
        PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

        Comment

        • GlitterAndStuds
          Veteran Member
          • Jul 2009
          • 1182

          If it's too soon, then don't worry about it yet. I didn't meet my boyfriend's parents for MONTHS after I started seeing him because the idea always made me too nervous. It's a lot of pressure trying to make a good impression on your SO's family and I just wasn't ready. He's probably not either. It might not necessarily mean that he never wants to meet her, rather just not quite yet. I didn't want to meet them at first but I did want to eventually. Hopefully he will too.

          Comment

          • hintoflime
            Member
            • Feb 2010
            • 16

            Originally posted by pretzel
            Maybe I'm different, but I would want to meet the people my kids are dating. Not to overtly judge them but because my kids are important to me and the people they spend time with met with open arms.
            My mom wants to meet him eventually, just not yet...

            Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH
            I think it's because you are saying "boyfriend". That's scary for a Mum, she would be thinking all sorts of things if you know what I mean

            Sounds as if he's a tad nervous too and if it's a very young relationship, then it's not here or there yet.

            Maybe though I would be saying to Mum, seeing as she is ok with you having a boyfriend, that you'd like to introduce "all" friends to her, it's important to you, and if it becomes a relationship well so be it, but she's your "best friend" and whilst you don't need her approval, you'd love her excitement/sharing with you..

            That I do think is important.

            CW

            I think it is because of the boyfriend thing as well, haha.

            Comment

            • CHANDLERS WISH
              • Mar 2008
              • 22440

              It's not Mum you have to worry about it's "Brothers/Uncles/Dads/Grandpa" with the baseball bat lol's..

              She'll get used to the idea, it's hard for you to see your "baby" grow up and we never want to see you get hurt, so we choose to go na, don't want to know
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment

              • WildChild
                Banned
                • Sep 2008
                • 14142

                My daughter has been dating the same young man for 4 years. I met his sister, father and father's girl freind within a few weeks of their starting to date because she wanted to spend time at his house and I have a rule of meeting the parents before my kids spend time at anyone's house. I have met his aunt, grandmother, mother and stepfather and know where their homes are. I try not to judge my kid's freinds and to welcome them. They have made good choices in their freinds. They know that if there is ever a problem they can call me.

                It sounds like your mother may equate meeting him with some sort of significant commitment on your part. I don't see it that way at all. That's way too late. How well someone interacts with your family, unless you have serious problems there, can be an indicator of what you may have in store with them.

                Comment

                • LanaBear
                  Veteran Member
                  • Jul 2009
                  • 8373

                  Originally posted by WildChild
                  I have a rule of meeting the parents before my kids spend time at anyone's house.
                  Sometimes others make comments that I'm too overprotective because I'm the same way, but it helps me sleep better at night. As they get older, I don't think that will be one rule that I'll ever negotiate on.

                  Comment

                  • WildChild
                    Banned
                    • Sep 2008
                    • 14142

                    Originally posted by LanaBear
                    Sometimes others make comments that I'm too overprotective because I'm the same way, but it helps me sleep better at night. As they get older, I don't think that will be one rule that I'll ever negotiate on.
                    You don't get second chances or do-overs with your kids physical or emotional development.

                    Comment

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