[Bella xx]

Hi everyone

I have been with my bf for a yr now but there is something i havent told him. I was diagnosed with epilepsy 5 yrs ago, i am on medication so it is totally under control but i havent told him yet. I guess i just needed to know that he was serious about me before i told him, but now i know i need to tell him but i just dont know how.

Im worried that he will be hurt i havent told him before now and im worried that i will totally freak him out. The thing is that there are so many different opinions about epilepsy and ignorant people thinking that its something weird and i dont want him to think that. I just keep thinking what if i tell him and it changes his feelings towards me and thats all he will think about when he sees me. What should i do?

Thanks for reading.

[pretzel]

Well, if he's that shallow that it would have an effect on your relationship then maybe it isn't meant to be.

Epilepsy can be very dangerous. It is however very controllable (which you are doing) but there always remains the chance that you could have a seizure at any moment. He needs to know what to do in those circumstances. No questions asked, end of story.

You don't have anything to hide nor should you.

[Karma3]

I agree with Pretzel, if he's that shallow then he's not worth having.

Being with him for a year and him not noticing anything different about you was a good example for him that you are no different than anyone else with the help of your medication controlling this.

Don't be ashamed of this condition or who you are as a person, this is what makes us all unique.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You didn't cheat. There shouldn't be a fear about disclosing a part of your life you live with.

I understand that you feel that you had to wait in order to tell him but don't..

Your scared that he will think you didn't trust him enough.. But, all you need to state is, it wasn't important as it doesn't cause problems, but I thought I would bring it up, in case something ever happened, you would know, it just occured to me, that you never ever know... Nothing to worry about though.

CW

[Explorer44]

I would simply tell him "I am really glad we've been together for the past year, and we've grown so close during that time. Because I want us to grow even closer, I want to share something with you about a health struggle I have and have been searching for the right way to share about it. I don't talk about it much, but because I trust and love you, I wanted to think about how to express it to you. Basically, I just need you to know that I have epilepsy."

And take it from there...

[grrrr]

I don't think that this is something that you should hide from him. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's also something that can be controlled with medicine.

I made two mistakes.... hubris... stopped my meds, and worse, didn't tell my hubs (well, we weren't married at that point) - but I had a seizure, and eek.... I basically face-planted on pavement (one black eye and a scar and nerve damage in my forehead later, I realize not taking meds is a BAD idea) and ended up in the hospital and THEN had to tell him.

He wasn't mad that I didn't tell him, he was more concerned that I hadn't for MY well being.

This isn't something that you should be worried about. I totally get that you are scared that he may feel like he has to treat you with "kid gloves" - but once you talk with him and really help him understand that you're okay and have everything under control, he should understand.

I kind of equate it to someone with high blood pressure. Would you freak out about it should he come to you with that diagnosis? Probably not, but you'd be concerned that he's doing everything that he can to keep it "in check" - same thing with you, different scenario.

I hope that helped.... P.S. I have NO feeling above my left eyebrow.... always take the meds!

[bonbon143]

I would simply tell him "I am really glad we've been together for the past year, and we've grown so close during that time. Because I want us to grow even closer, I want to share something with you about a health struggle I have and have been searching for the right way to share about it. I don't talk about it much, but because I trust and love you, I wanted to think about how to express it to you. Basically, I just need you to know that I have epilepsy."

And take it from there...

Good suggestion! I second your advice!

[Bella xx]

Thank you everyone, u are all right and i really appreciate the advice i have never been ashamed of having epilepsy, i have been through alot of hard times with it but now i am finally in a place where i have accepted it and now i know that he deserves to know aswell. It just makes me feel really vulnerable but i need to trust him and give him a chance. I think i will tell him this weekend, i need to do it as soon as possible because we are going abroad soon and he needs to know incase anything happens while we are away.

Thanks again

[treimnitz]

I have epilepsy also and every boyfriend that I have had, I have told about my epilepsy. Every boyfriend has been cool with it. I would say you have nothing to worry about.