[butterfly8]

I've been living with my boyfriend since the beginning of this year and I've never felt like this about anyone. It hasn't been long but it feels right. He's been asking me when we can have a baby. I'm all for it and we both love love babies and children. He's just afraid cause I am really tiny and doesn't want that to effect me or a baby. I'm 20, almost 21 and i've been wanting one since I was 18, I just wonder if its too soon to have one

[kristalyn_04]

Let me get this straight. You're only 21, been living with your boyfriend for not even a year. You're not married, nor engaged, and you want to have a baby with him? Think about that for a minute. While I don't know how long you've been with him, you are still very young. Are you even thinking about marriage at all? You should wait until you're in a solid long-term commitment, experience life a little more. There's plenty of time, you should wait. Just my opinion.

[butterfly8]

Yes we've been talking about marriage. And I know i'm young but I don't do the young people things. I don't party. I don't drink. I have no desire for either. I work full time. I don't want to be an old mother and i want to be able to play with my kids and then grandkids. i want more then one and i have to start sometime right?

[WildChild]

Yes you have to start sometime but I'd recommend that it be later rather than sooner. I had mine at 33 and 36 and I played and laughed and enjoyed them fully. Give your self more time to explore life.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He's just afraid cause I am really tiny and doesn't want that to effect me or a baby.

Hi butterfly... I understand you don't want to be an old Mother, I remember one of the girls at school had a young mum and we were all jealous

Is it too soon? You mention you work full time, so off course that will stop.. Can your future "husband" afford to pay all the bills on his own at least until the child is 1 year old and then you can work part time, and are there baby sitters in your family to help you, can you afford child care, when you go back to work? What about living arrangements when you get married, and off course the wedding itself, engagement and rings?

Do a list of pros and cons and then a financial budget to see where you really are at, in that regard.

With regards to your questions, do you mean height (too small) or down there too small?

CW

[Allie602]

OK good idea about being a young mother but wait until you find a guy who is ready and willing to assume responsibility along with you for your nascent family by making it legal as in marriage. If you bf is ready for kids and along with you well, he gets first dibs on the marriage certificate. You both love kids, so prepare a place for them, that would be at a minimum, stable, loving, and committed parents. Best way execute a set-up like that for kids is to have a set of married people at the helm.

[Mes T]

Butterfly I agree with the others, but I also have to caution against moving forward so quickly with someone you've been with for such a short time. I mean I don't know how long you've been dating, but I think you should live together a bit longer just to be safe.

Most relationships in a person's life don't work out, it's just fact. How can you be so sure that this one will, at such a young age, sure enough to bring a human being into the world?

I understand YOU want a baby, but think of the baby's needs above your own. What kind of environment would be best for the baby growing up.

[butterfly8]

My boyfriend is in the military. By too small i mean I am only 5ft tall and skinny. much like my sister. She had a baby at 17 but her and the dad didn't stay together. its been 8 years since then and she has her second child. They are doing fine if not great. She need money sometimes but she's done well on her on. I do have babysitters in my family. My family loves babies and theres alot of us. My dad has 7 kids all together. Then his family, his mom loves kids and she can't have anymore. She's always asking her daughter when she's having a baby and my boyfriend is older then her. I know there are bills and its hard, but waiting wont make it any easier and make there be any less bills. I can honestly say I don't want to be 33 when i have my first. I want 4 kids. So starting at 33 would be more hazardous to me then starting at 21.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweet. 5ft, my Mother was / is 5ft, you'll be fine.

Waiting won't make it any easier and make there be any less bills ,but your income will be gone, so I think it's good to use some of that, if you want to start a family, and save ...

Also, maybe if I can suggest, be engaged so you know the commitment. I get that your sister did it on her own and is doing it on her own and it's tough, and your viewing it as if, well if he leaves me, I can do it on my own too.

But, it would be great if you both could be there all the way through So, hang about for 12 months, you'll only be 22, save a bit, see where this relationship takes you and have fun with your niece/nephew...

PLAN.

It's always a good thing trust me...

[butterfly8]

Thank you. It might sound weird. I guess. but I dont want to get married before I have a baby. because I know I am changing my last name. But I want my baby to have my dads last name, if its a boy. So my last name doesn't die. Its just hard to know whats going to happen at any stage of my life I dont want something to happen where I can't have kids or if something happened to my boyfriend in the military and I can't have his kids.