[Guest]

Hi ladies,

Im a 26 year old guy looking to meet a decent girl I can settle down with, im fed up with going to clubs as a way to meet girls as I am bit of an introvert. I havent got a massive social network so meeting girls through friends is a limited option. I'm decent looking guy, so ive been told by girls in the past.

So ive been thinking of approaching girls I like the look of on the street, on my way to/from work etc.

Just a simple direct polite compliment, 'sorry dont mean to startle you but i noticed you walking past and I think youre cute'

I figure this way id meet a different type of girl i would in a club.

What do ladies on this forum think of this? How would you feel if I guy approached you whilst you were walking home? I know everyone in london is so closed and serious in their own world!

[ItsASecret]

Personally, and please do not take offense as I am not directing this at you but at the general situation of approaching, I would feel extremely creeped out if some random guy just started to talk to me. For me it would be analogous to a random guy whistling as you go by...even though technically saying "your cute" is not the same as the obnoxious whistle. But it feels like the same thing to me. So yeah, creepy even if it is obviously not intended to be that way.

Instead of being that random guy that just pops up on the street, or stops a girl mid walk or whatever you can try something less awkward like saying hello in the line up to get a coffee. Or if you are at the bookstore and you see a pretty girl in the same isle checking the same books as you make some comment that can connect the interest like "that books looks good but if you are into ______ I would recommend this one". Try to find a spot you would like to meet a girl based on your interests because then if someone pretty lady friend were to appear you can possibly have common interest conversation material on hand.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I agree with ItsASecret, I would be concerned, or think your a player one of the two..

Have you tried on-line dating? Purely for the purpose of getting out on dates, gaining confidence, some you may end up being friends with and they have friends as well..

It's awkeward at 26 and older, for sure, as alot of your friends are in long term relationships, or married..

[chaya]

Don't try that on me because I wouldn't like it. I was attacked by a stranger before and if your approach was the least bit threatening, I would react violently, like kicking first then running away screaming rape.

[stressed]

Same here, I'd be more creeped out than flattered. It's one thing to have guys notice you in the street, or flirt a bit (once a random guy proposed to me, but it was just innocent flirting of course) but another to get a very long sentence from a guy.

I understand your situation and I don't think you're creepy or anything for suggesting that (it's actually great when guys seek dating advice, I like that a lot), so don't feel bad for bringing it up (in case you do after all of our replies).

I'd suggest the online approach instead. It works for many introverted people (it's worked for me a couple of times and I've never been a "meet people at the club" sort of person).

[Guest]

thanks for the feedback, i have tried online dating with little success. I think it easier for girls than it is for guys, e.g i sent LOADS of messages before I got one reply and when I did get replies girls would often flake e.g start a normal conversation and then suddenly not respond/stop replying.What is up with that? I know im better than that and haven't got the patience for it.

i dont lack the confidence on dates, i have had couple of long term relationships in the past...i just need the exposure to get telephone numbers etc. Oh well the search continues...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

See? We get to know more and more, the more you talk

So confident, that explains why you would approach someone in the street...

I get the on-line dating, when I was on there 3 years ago, in-undated by 20 somethings and 60 somethings and then my age but they turned out to be 10 years older

IDK, loads of messages, pends on what you wrote, i would politely reply once and then go no way, best wishes, from responses...

What were you saying, how did you handle it?

I think ladies like not hi my name is, your picture caught my eye for an example.. It's about something in their profile, you noticed that you are the same at, with a bit of confidence, ...

Hobbies?

[Guest]

I was saying all sorts, long messages, short messages, from 'hey how you doing?' to 'hey i noticed on your profile you like/do/play...bla bla, I also blah blah' a lot of girls dont actually write that much on there profile. So its hard to try and pick out something unique to connect to.

hobbies - i work 9-5, go to the gym, work out, play football (soccer), reading self development books, movies - i generally like to be active.

[sourpuss]

I agree that the best approach would be somewhere where you see a gal on a regular basis. A coffeeshop is pretty neutral and safe place to say hello and chat someone up. A friendly hello, how's your day going is nice.

[Guest]

I agree that the best approach would be somewhere where you see a gal on a regular basis. A coffeeshop is pretty neutral and safe place to say hello and chat someone up. A friendly hello, how's your day going is nice.

isnt this the same as my initial suggestion of approaching randomly - i might be noticing her on a regular but is she noticing me?!