[Justin.]

Hello ladies, i know this is a WOMENS place, but im tired of getting advice from men who dont know what they're talking about, and i feel a lot more comfortable getting advice from the mind of a woman.

well long story short me and my girlfriend were together for 4 years, i screwed up and lied to her about something lost her trust, and to add to that she found out that a point that we were having problems (like 6 months ago but she had just found out) i had wrote to another girl how i regretted not dating her. this all happened within the month of october, but we were stil seeing eachother, cuddling and having sex. before those issues came up things were great with us, and sex was a big part of our relationship too. we both loved sex i knew she would rate mine 5outof5 and i would give hers 4.5 out of 5. so we both enjoyed it and i know she loved it. i was the first guy that she said she felt like she was getting addicted to sex with (shes only been with 3 other guys). im a fairly large guy i would say (about 8.7inches so about 9 inches) and it was sometimes too much for her.

now we've only not been talking for 2 weeks and shes started another relationship with some guy who i can tell if obviously a rebound relationship, she usually gets cranky after not having sex around 3 weeks but i guess she can fight it after that, anyway. the new guy is a short asian guy. im not going to sterotype but we know most asian guys are typically smaller, and i dont think hes anywhere near 9 inches. i want her back so bad because i want to show her that i can treat her right, but i need her to at least be able to talk to me, and i think she sex may be a way to at least draw her back to me.

so my question is, in this situation do you think if eventually they start having sex that it'll be such a drastic change in size and the fact that we've been having sex for 4 years and shes used to me. do you think that it will draw her back to me because she wont enjoy it with the new guy? like how is she going to feel

thank you in advance!

[Justin.]

Rebound dating advice?

hello all, i know this is a womens place, but i am a man and im just tired of getting advice from men who dont know what they are talking about, instead i want to get in the mind of a woman and figure out the closest to how shes feeling as possible.

well i had made a thread in the sex section about tips on that, but this one i want opinions on just the relationship for most part but feel free to chime in on whatever you want.

well me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 years, 2 years into it we broke up dated other people which maybe lasted a month, and came back with eachother. after that we were ok and things were good between us, up until last month. i screwed up for lying to her about the stupidest thing (facebook) and things were just bad between us. sex has always been one of the stronger points in our relationship, we dont live with eachother so its hard to get it done all the time but we were having sex maybe 2 times a week and it was intense and great every time. so while things were bad between us we got in an argument one day over something else stupid. and she cut off communication with me and just ignored me, she later on told me a couple of days later that she liked someone else. so im like okay its only been like 2 or 3 weeks since we've even been having problems and your going to throw away 4 years because of that? she has a bad case of denial im assuming because that same week that she told me she liked someone else she was telling her friends she was over me and ready for another relationship and that i didnt mean anything to her.

one of my questions is..in most cases is this possible? or is she just bluffing or trying to convince herself that shes over me? im a pretty good tech junkie so while she was ignoring me i would send her these emails saying how i love her and how much she means to me, but it had something in the email that would tell me if and when she read it, and every single email (about 5 i sent her) she read all of them, even though she didnt respond the fact that she read them made me feel like she wasnt over me. and then i find out tonight that shes now dating this new guy. i'm a 6ft tall african american guy, my girlfriend, now ex was vietnamese. i was larger that i would say average in bed (about 8.7 almost 9inches) and this new guy is a 5'5 asian guy. so all around its a totally different change, and shes telling her friends how he treats her so well and how shes excited and happy to be with him and all this. so im pretty much just trying to get in a mind of a woman and figure out whats going on, why is she doing all this? and do you think she will come back to me? i just want to show her how much i love her and that i changed and i can make things work between us.

any input would be appreciated

[WildChild]

Wellll. that's hard to say.

If she is not feeling that she can trust you and is not feeling that you can meet her emotional needs as well as her sexual needs, she may not be open, even if she misses the sex. I was with a man I believe is the love of my life and the sex was amazing (I've been with a heck of a lot more than 3 men - I know how good it was) but he was sexually selfish and shut me out emotionally. There are times I miss him like crazy, I just crave his touch, the scent of his skin. his taste, his energy, but I can't trust him to treat my heart lovingly. We still talk, he occasionally puts out a few feelers, mostly sexually hinting, I know it would still be really good sex but I need more than that. My guess is that your ex may feel very much the same.

If you want her back you are going to have to resolve what led up to the behavior that broke the trust in the relationship and then you are going to have to woo her. You will have to show her that you have recognized what needed to be worked on and have done the work, that things will be better and not just until you feel her heart is yours again. It took me more than a month to be responsive to a new lover and I'm still working on it, it coming along. Women are flexible, we can handle quite a wide range of men physically - a broken heart or broken trust take more effort to overcome than different penis size.

You have your work cut out for you.

[caterpillar79]

... i screwed up for lying to her about the stupidest thing (facebook) and things were just bad between us....

I would guess she's still nursing the hurt of being betrayed by lying. Women in general take this thing seriously - being lied to - once the trust has been breached, you'll have a hard time patching it up.

Aside from that incident you've mentioned, what other things happened that you described "things" were just bad between the two of you?

[caterpillar79]

I strongly agree with WC.

[demotivator]

Just a little sarcasm

Let me tell you something, mate. You have a crazy big member, so it does not matter whether you humiliate her or not. I mean, come on. You give her a few great orgasms and you're goint to rock her world anyway, right? Be an , tell other girls that you regret having a relationship with her. I mean you have a right to regret it, because with your "talent" you could have had sex with any girl you ever wanted, but you were kind enough to be with her for 4 crappy years. Most importantly, you are perfect for her but she is not perfect for you. She had a gift and she just kicked it out of the window. Who in her right mind does that? What did that crazy- girl think? She must be thinking that she could find better. We both know that you have a really big penis attached to a wonderful personality. Other guys have no chance. Absolutely none. By the way, what does that asian kid want? I mean come on. First of all, he is asain. You are lot more taller. Obviously, his will never be good enough. What did they think when day started dating?
Let's face the fact that no one will ever be as good as you.

But let me stop joking around, Junior. Lower your ego as fast as you can, think about other kinds of perfection that you can offer to your partner beside than sex. And don't ever humilate anyone just because you think that they are way out of your league because that move will put you out from the league you want to be a member of.

[pretzel]

Let me tell you something, mate. You have a crazy big member, so it does not matter whether you humiliate her or not. I mean, come on. You give her a few great orgasms and you're goint to rock her world anyway, right? Be an , tell other girls that you regret having a relationship with her. I mean you have a right to regret it, because with your "talent" you could have had sex with any girl you ever wanted, but you were kind enough to be with her for 4 crappy years. Most importantly, you are perfect for her but she is not perfect for you. She had a gift and she just kicked it out of the window. Who in her right mind does that? What did that crazy- girl think? She must be thinking that she could find better. We both know that you have a really big penis attached to a wonderful personality. Other guys have no chance. Absolutely none. By the way, what does that asian kid want? I mean come on. First of all, he is asain. You are lot more taller. Obviously, his will never be good enough. What did they think when day started dating?
Let's face the fact that no one will ever be as good as you.

But let me stop joking around, Junior. Lower your ego as fast as you can, think about other kinds of perfection that you can offer to your partner beside than sex. And don't ever humilate anyone just because you think that they are way out of your league because that move will put you out from the league you want to be a member of.

This is the best first post I think I've ever read here.

And quite honestly, I couldn't agree more.

[Justin.]

Let me tell you something, mate. You have a crazy big member, so it does not matter whether you humiliate her or not. I mean, come on. You give her a few great orgasms and you're goint to rock her world anyway, right? Be an , tell other girls that you regret having a relationship with her. I mean you have a right to regret it, because with your "talent" you could have had sex with any girl you ever wanted, but you were kind enough to be with her for 4 crappy years. Most importantly, you are perfect for her but she is not perfect for you. She had a gift and she just kicked it out of the window. Who in her right mind does that? What did that crazy- girl think? She must be thinking that she could find better. We both know that you have a really big penis attached to a wonderful personality. Other guys have no chance. Absolutely none. By the way, what does that asian kid want? I mean come on. First of all, he is asain. You are lot more taller. Obviously, his will never be good enough. What did they think when day started dating?
Let's face the fact that no one will ever be as good as you.

But let me stop joking around, Junior. Lower your ego as fast as you can, think about other kinds of perfection that you can offer to your partner beside than sex. And don't ever humilate anyone just because you think that they are way out of your league because that move will put you out from the league you want to be a member of.

im sorry if it came off that i was some cocky jock, i am not. i said all this because she sees sex more importantly than i do, sometimes she demands it and would always say she loved how big i was and everything, and made it a pretty big deal. so thats why i asked, i have much more to offer her than just sex, i think she just needs to mature more, because if little probelms can mess up our relationship i dont know whats going to happen if we ever run past any REAL problems. if she didnt put such of an emphasis on sex then i dont know

[Justin.]

I would guess she's still nursing the hurt of being betrayed by lying. Women in general take this thing seriously - being lied to - once the trust has been breached, you'll have a hard time patching it up.

Aside from that incident you've mentioned, what other things happened that you described "things" were just bad between the two of you?

yeah i understand that now that women take that stuff really seriously. other than the facebook thing, thats what started things being bad, i told her to give me another chance and we just talked and kinda acted like we were a couple while i tried to redeem myself, and also facebook struck again and she found something i had wrote in my honesty box to a friend from a year ago when we were having issues saying how i regretted dating that girl. i understood how she felt for that one and we still spoke a little after that, and i guess she just couldnt take going through those weeks of us not being "together" since we had always been together and things were good, so it was hard for her to go through things when they werent good, so she started talking to the new guy who happens to be her tutor, and started liking him and cut off communication with me.

[lizzardb63]

Maybe it isn't HER that has to mature...you're the one who lied, and you're the one who went behind her back and e-mailed another girl about regretting getting with her. Does that sound really mature? Besides, what makes you think she should HAVE to deal with that ? I sure don't think she should. You're missing the point completely. I saw it when you said you were a 5 to her and she was a 4.5 to you. You may make her feel like she isn't enough for you and that's pretty crappy. Besides that, what you guys went through are REAL problems, its just unfortunate that you caused them. Sex isn't everything....and for a woman, it takes a lot more than a big penis to keep us around. Better kiss the ground she walks on if you really want her back and honestly 100% will treat her HOW SHE DESERVES to be treated.