[Hopeless Dork]

I'm glad to hear he is not selfish in all areas, but just be aware that if you allow him to treat you badly... he will. Its the dark side of human nature that while not all people have it... many do. And that is, to put their own needs first and to consider their own feelings more valid that anyone elses... its an egoism most people have but many people make an effort to, or just naturally overcome.

So what I am saying is if you complain about giving him money but still dig in your pockets at the end of the day... he has no good reason to stop asking. Demand your respect and you will get it... let him disrespect you, and he will. If he had no money and needed food that is one thing, if he blew all his money on his games and is now asking you to blow all your money on his games, thats just selfish and taking advantage of you. The old whats his is his and whats your is his will remain unless you stop allowing it. He's sure to grumble especially if he's use to getting his way with you.

But once you set your bounderies and mean it... you will be able to see if he loves you for you.

[Lunar_Lilith]

Thanks Hopeless Dork. I bet I can learn a lot from you .

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He "brags" to his mates, how he manipulates you, into buying him things...

How does that make you feel?

You make "love" after you argue and everything is fine again until you argue again, then you make love again and the problem is over...

Can you state that you make love often? Or here there and more so after you argue....

This guy is not your future unless he learns to treat a lady right.... He is manipulative, he uses the "talk' to get what he wants be it bad talk or good talk, then he takes it away be it money or the words that he spoke to you....

Yep, looks and laughter win

Sweet, seeing as he's not going to change right? He talks about you to his mates, what else does he tell them? He says he'll repay you but then says "I never said that". Just stick to your guns, your 17 years of age you need to take control of your life, your an Adult almost, don't let him manipulate you, he asks for money? Get a job He wants to argue? Well, your not arguing over money with me let me tell you and your not getting sex either just because you argued...be a man, quit being a child... He'll soon think WT? I have a real woman here and respect you... hopefully...

Men that do this, do this because THEY CAN.. Look at your heading.. YOU give/gave it to him, he can take it

Understand? Be a toughy it will get you places in life, and best thing is you can say it calmly and smile as your saying it because your standing your ground... If he continues to argue, just say, sweet, your being childish, I'm going home, see you when you calm down..

CW

[Colorado]

Simply put, he is taking advantage of you, and so far you are letting this happen - please don't, as it will only get worse.

One has to wonder what else he is bragging to his buddies about? Kind of unsettling huh?
Sounds like a very immature, selfish person and that's not what you deserve.
Listen to everyone here and then listen to your gut feelings; this guy is not for you - and you can certainly do better.

You have so much more ahead of you, so don't ever feel like you have to settle for this type of thing. Please don't take this wrong, but it seems to me that when people are young and reaching the age of "needing someone to be with and love", they seem to accept the first person that comes along who gives them a small amount of acceptance, and a few quick compliments. You will probably have difficulties in understanding that as you are in the situation and may be "love blind", but I see it all the time; and I'm sure others would agree.
But, you have so much going for you, so why settle for anything less than the best - the one that meets ALL of your dreams? Let him mature and perhaps (perhaps), he will open his eyes and realize that he is being a selfish child and doing you wrong. Hopefully it wont be after he has forced you to drop him for someone who is willing to give this to you now.

I know I may sound a little brash here, but I hate seeing a young lady such as yourself being taken advantage of.

[rcoreyus]

He could be actively looking for a job rather than playing video games. If he can't find a job he could be studying things that would make it easier to get a job in the future. College, or the Marines???? That covers a lot of range. Has he applied for college, applied for student loans, or gone to a Marine Recruiting office (they don't take everyone)?

I'm sorry but it really looks like he is just using you. There are some people who live like this - trading affection and sex for money.....

[Lunar_Lilith]

I do have to be "rough" with him or else he'll just walk all over me. Being less humble is the key to this situation. If I bark back, he'll eventually back off and quit all the nonsense.
He is looking for a job, filled out several applications and is in touch with his recruiting office. I believe in him that the childish ways will change. He even stopped playing the computer game 24/7. He's growing up faster than I thought.
I will try a new approach, be more aggressive as to not let him treat me like(edit anymore and I think things will be better. I'll keep you updated.
Thanks

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Lunar

Love is a funny thing we excuse everything, almost and we also cover, stand up for the other person

You don't at all have to be aggressive, simply put if you don't like or agree with something in life, then NO is the answer..

[Awoman2]

"I've been with him for 7 months so far and its going good."

Really?

[Hopeless Dork]

Another thing to keep in mind lunar is that its really setting yourself (and your partner) up for failure when you enter in a relationship not fully happy with who the person is... but hoping they may one day be what you want them to be. People DO grow up, people to change their ways... but you can't 'mold' someone into the person you want them to be... its not fair to them, and will only drive you crazy. While people do change and grow and learn constantly, it has to be done on their own time, at their own interest in doing so, for themselves. If they alter their behavior, not to be a better person... but to simply be what you want them to be -- its not genuine.

If you get involved with someone that plays video games 24/7... you have to understand that its a part of who they are, what they like... so you better like video games or be highly tolerant of those that do because they may cut back some to spend time with you... but then again they may not.

I just mean its a real bad practice to get into to start dating people that act or treat you a way that you don't like... hoping that overtime they will be different. Most people don't change much... and you have to love them for how they are ... and if you know you can't.. you know your maybe ill-matched.

That is NOT to say there is a perfect person out there that will be everything you dream of and not have any quirks that annoy you or do anything you don't like ever... or that likes all the things you do and doesn't like what you don't -- that would be boring anyway. No one wants to date a replica of themselves and its our differences that make life interesting and can compliment each other and learn new things from each other... and thats what life is all about. But if is someone treats you bad, ignores you, is cruel... you can't hedge your bets that its going to get better... people generally are the way they are.

[Guest]

Hopeless Dork, CHANDLERS WISH, WildChild and others in here are all ROCK STARS !! Don't just read their advice....TAKE IT...ACCEPT IT as your own.

Let me tell you what I would do....from a man's perspective (mine).

I'd leave this jerk so fast that it would make his head spin! He's not a lover or anybody to be in love with. He's a USER and therefore, in my opinion, a LOSER!

Sorry to be so blunt, but sometimes all of us need to hear it from somebody.

I have a fifteen year old daughter and this is exactly what I'd tell her if she were in your shoes.