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  • Cookie0115
    Junior Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 3

    How do I hint that I want to date my friend?

    I've been hanging out with my friend a lot lately, who I have known for a long time. He drives pretty far about once a week to hang out. He always pays when we do stuff and has slept on my couch many times since he doesn't live nearby. I really like him, but for some reason it seems like we are just friends even though he seems really interested. I know he isn't an aggressive guy. Not sure what to do to move more towards being in a relationship. Is there even anything I can do besides just wait and see what happens? Any advice?
  • BasketCase
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2010
    • 280

    Sounds sweet First decide if this is really what you want to do. Dating friends can get messy, I don't need to tell you that. That said if this is what you really want i say go right for it! Don't hold back, if you think he's interested he proably is. If he is not an aggresive guy he may be waiting on you to give him a sign before he goes for it.
    sigpic☮“I am convinced that the women of the world, united without any regard for national or racial dimensions, can become a most powerful force for international peace and brotherhood.”☮

    Comment

    • Colorado
      Veteran Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 460

      Sounds very much like someone you can talk to... so why not do that?

      Next time you are having a good conversation and find the right place simply state that you are so happy that you've found such a good friend in him; then lead into a non-committal open-ended question as to if he ever thought there could be more between you. Tell him you wouldn't ever want this to break the friendship and would rather leave it as friendship, if he thinks doing so would jeopardize it.

      Just little questions in light conversation can give you the answer you seek. You never know until you ask, right? You stated that he is not an aggressive guy, so you may have to bring the conversation up yourself - no biggie, just do it in a very non-threatening way in case he just wants to keep it as a friendship - which I doubt. Just sounds like a good guy who doesn't want to pressure you at all, and who may just be taking too long to let any real feelings be known.

      Let us know how you make out.

      Comment

      • Pau
        Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 39

        It seems that he's just waiting for a perfect moment too. Maybe he wants to take things slowly.

        Comment

        • Cookie0115
          Junior Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 3

          Well, things don't seem to be going too well now. The last two times I asked him to do something he said he could, but canceled at the last minute. He has also been traveling a lot for work the whole month of November so I haven't seen him in a few weeks. I'm just going to see if he'll contact me if he doesn't hear from me.

          Comment

          • Ashlee T.
            Veteran Member
            • Dec 2008
            • 6412

            Are you sleeping with him? (I'm assuming not, but figured I'd ask just to clarify).

            No hints. Guys don't like hints (neither do I). Be honest about who you are and what you feel. Don't make it more than it is, or less than it is.......just be honest. If he reciprocates, great. If he doesn't, at least you'll know where you stand.
            "Be what you're looking for."

            Comment

            • jns
              Assistant Admin
              • Mar 2010
              • 8398

              Colorado gave good advice, but remember, no hints like BD said.
              I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
              ...
              Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

              From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

              Comment

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