[Guest]

And your post noy only proves a very narrowminded viewpoint, but also that you did not actually read the thread. Because if that is what you got out of it, you either did not read it, or were not able to comprehend what was written (and I doubt it was the latter). If I may be so bold, if you truly feel that way about women, that they put forth no effort in relationships, depend on men to make all the contact and make all the effort, then why are you on a womens forum? I'm sure there are plenty of forums out there that are perfect for bashing women, though this is certainly not one of them.

I read the first post and the impression I got was that you always depend on him to call you, you talked about how you texted back and worth and you wanted him to call you right? If you wanted to talk to him why didn't you call him? I suspect that you didn't actually want to talk to him(if you did you would have called him), you only wanted him to want to talk to you.

[Ashlee T.]

Nope...he was away on a work trip, had a very busy schedule and I was trying to respect that by not calling his phone and letting him contact me only if he wanted to if he had any free time. When he would text me, they were very short and I could tell he was distracted and busy. My post was about this causing my own insecurities to surface and how to identify whether my feelings were a result of the insecurities, or whether he's just not that into me.

It seems as though you read these threads as a way to prove some point you're trying to make. I read some of your other posts as well. Same theme. Women are prudish, women are nonsexual, women depend on men to do all the work in relationships (which is LAUGHABLE honestly). And you use words such as "It is ALWAYS the man who has to initiate EVERY contact and put forth ALL the effort" I don't really believe someone could be so narrowminded as to believe those words. Perhaps if those are your own experiences, it could be a result of the very attitude you portray here.

[Guest]

Nope...he was away on a work trip, had a very busy schedule and I was trying to respect that by not calling his phone and letting him contact me only if he wanted to if he had any free time. When he would text me, they were very short and I could tell he was distracted and busy. My post was about this causing my own insecurities to surface and how to identify whether my feelings were a result of the insecurities, or whether he's just not that into me.

It seems as though you read these threads as a way to prove some point you're trying to make. I read some of your other posts as well. Same theme. Women are prudish, women are nonsexual, women depend on men to do all the work in relationships (which is LAUGHABLE honestly). And you use words such as "It is ALWAYS the man who has to initiate EVERY contact and put forth ALL the effort" I don't really believe someone could be so narrowminded as to believe those words. Perhaps if those are your own experiences, it could be a result of the very attitude you portray here.

haha yeah offcourse there are exceptions.... But really who put's in the majority of the effort here? The man or the woman? Men usually have to take the first step, which for most men ain't that easy... And then on top of that it's expected that we call/text/ask you out pretty much everytime, atleast the majority of the times. And it really grinds my gears when I see that women actually give out advice like "make him chase you" "let him call you" "let him make an effort" and so on... I mean , don't we men have it hard enough as it is when it comes to dating? You are a woman, you don't really have to worry about anything...

[Ashlee T.]

But really who put's in the majority of the effort here?

Are you saying in general, or in my situation? It has always been a flaw of mine to make things too easy on the person I'm dating, so easy that I would end up being taken advantage of and not getting what I needed from the relationship. I see that alot from other women I know too. As I've gotten a bit older and more mature, I'm not willing to do that anymore. I wouldn't be happy in a relationship in which the man did ALL the work and made ALL the effort. But I'm not happy in a relationship where I'm doing all the work either. Most mature adults both women AND men are seeking a happy medium. You've probably had some bad experiences. But hey, so have I. If I judged all men based on that, then you dear....along with every other man would be considered dishonest, lazy, self serving, manipulative cheaters.

[Colorado]

Ok Horse, I have said this on many occasions and I will again here - You are generalizing and that is just wrong. Because you have found yourself in situations with ladies who were dependent upon you being the initiator all the time doesn't mean that Beautiful Disaster or any of the others here are like that. And on a side note - I've not seen any here that I would place that title on at all. They are confident, independently thinking, and MORE than willing to go out of their way to make a relationship work. If you have been drug through the mud by someone who treated you less than fairly, I'm sorry, we all commiserate with you, but please don't come in here being derogatory toward these ladies - they neither deserve it nor need it.

This forum doesn't get into the Urinary Olympics (Peeing Contests) that many do (thank you mods), and everyone is always welcome to come in, join, and hang their hat for a while. You are more than welcome to post concerns, discuss issues, etc... But please don't disrespect the members here, and reading your above statements I would say that I personally would have taken it as an attack. Your opinion is just as important as the next, and will be respected, as long as you do the same.

BD is a fantastic young lady who has asked for thoughts on an issue. That doesnt make it right to come in and knock her thoughts by generalizing all into one basket.

[Guest]

Ok Horse, I have said this on many occasions and I will again here - You are generalizing and that is just wrong. Because you have found yourself in situations with ladies who were dependent upon you being the initiator all the time doesn't mean that Beautiful Disaster or any of the others here are like that. And on a side note - I've not seen any here that I would place that title on at all. They are confident, independently thinking, and MORE than willing to go out of their way to make a relationship work. If you have been drug through the mud by someone who treated you less than fairly, I'm sorry, we all commiserate with you, but please don't come in here being derogatory toward these ladies - they neither deserve it nor need it.

This forum doesn't get into the Urinary Olympics (Peeing Contests) that many do (thank you mods), and everyone is always welcome to come in, join, and hang their hat for a while. You are more than welcome to post concerns, discuss issues, etc... But please don't disrespect the members here, and reading your above statements I would say that I personally would have taken it as an attack. Your opinion is just as important as the next, and will be respected, as long as you do the same.

BD is a fantastic young lady who has asked for thoughts on an issue. That doesnt make it right to come in and knock her thoughts by generalizing all into one basket.

I never disrespected anybody here, and I certenley didn't mean to disrespect the OP. If my post was considered disrespectful that's pretty... harsh. I didn't use bad words nor was I agressive, I simply stated what's pretty much common knowledge. If you are saying I disrespected anybody on here, you are lying(no offence). I read the OP's post and that was the impression I got(although I was wrong I suppose), seeing as how in the majority of all cases the man is infact the one who initiates contact and calls/texts every time it wasn't exactly without any basis I got that impression.

[Colorado]

You can't generalize that - period.

It may very well be the case with YOU, but not everyone. Generalizations lead to failure.
By placing the "fault" on Beautiful Disaster or any other here (by generalizing - "YOU'RE ALL LIKE THAT), you are being disrespectful.

All I'm asking is that you reconsider your generalizations and not be so quick to group everyone into one lump sum - because they most certainly are not the same - nor are we.

[Guest]

You can't generalize that - period.

It may very well be the case with YOU, but not everyone. Generalizations lead to failure.
By placing the "fault" on Beautiful Disaster or any other here (by generalizing - "YOU'RE ALL LIKE THAT), you are being disrespectful.

All I'm asking is that you reconsider your generalizations and not be so quick to group everyone into one lump sum - because they most certainly are not the same - nor are we.

If I said for example that, most Americans speak English, would I be generalizing there aswell? I know there are exceptions, but are you denying that in the vast majority of all relationships the man is the one who is the instigator when it comes to calling/texting?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.....

(edit) oops it closed on me

It is true, you can't, shouldn't generalise, as I wrote in another thread, start using the word "some"....instead of all.

Colorado, thanks for pointing that out, we know you love us ladies here

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I read the first post and the impression I got was that you always depend on him to call you, you talked about how you texted back and worth and you wanted him to call you right? If you wanted to talk to him why didn't you call him? I suspect that you didn't actually want to talk to him(if you did you would have called him), you only wanted him to want to talk to you.

IDK if BD found that disrespectful, but I think what Hurley is/was trying to say is that women "some", want a man to text/call, so they feel needed and loved...and that's actually quite accurate with "some"....

I didn't find it disrespectful, we all have ways in which we write and it's the internet, anything can be mis-interperated....

Again though Colorado, we know you love us