[WildChild]

No doub't offcourse. But there seems to be a common misconception that all men like the chase. Offcourse alot of men do infact enjoy the chase, But from what I have seen there's an equal amount of men who hates the chase. When a woman takes the initative, shure she runs the risk of getting rejected because the man doesn't like it.... Alot of men would love it if a woman took the initative, but it seems if women get rejected even once when doing so they quickly say they'll never do it again and that men hate it when they don't get the chase and so on.... nevermind the fact that men get rejected all the time, but that doesn't stop us.

Well Dear, we inherited these ideas from an earlier time when things were different. Women were, by law, completetly dependent on men, just as they still are in some parts of the world. The women were essentially property and had very few if any options or rights to make choices. In that kind of system it is very important for a woman to know that a man really wants her and is able and willing to support her. If they marry and he doesn't she has NO options.

Those of us who live in places where that is no longer true are still dealing with the vestiges of this stupid thinking. It is deeply engrained in our cultures. It is changing but it is sporatic and inconsistant and probably always will be just because different people do like different things.

Can you try being more playful with this?
For example, I was talking with a man who does some work on the properties I manage the other day. We've known each other for years very casually and have a habit of a kind of light flirty interaction. As we were talking about him having been delayed to do a job for me, I commented that it wasn't like I was pacing the floor and watching the clock waiting for him to show up. He responded that he thought I loved him. I said, Oh I do but you'll have to put alot more effort into to get me counting the minutes. He countered with a comment about how I could give him more encouragement.

Had I been interested that would have been an opening for me to say, well why don't you have lunch with me when you are over here?

Women have little ways of signaling their interest to men. Believe me, men don't approach a woman who hasn't, some how, given them the idea that it wouldn't be a total waste of time. Well there are some men out there who are clueless but for the most part that is true. You have to do the same. Be friendly, open, receptive, aware and responsive. An appreciative look, a smile when she speaks, can open doors.
The other thing you can do in a playful way is open a conversation and when appropriate, tell her you believe that women know what they want and are great initiators so you've opened the door and the next move is up to her. You could teasingly say that you can't wait to see what she comes up with to get you to go out with her.

If you can keep it fun, you just might be surprised at the response you get.

[Guest]

Well it's very obvious you don't like the chase, so i would like to suggest that you just sit back and wait til a woman comes after you..

i wish you luck..

I would make the first move and take the initative in the beggining. As long as the woman then starts to take initatives herself and don't play hard to get and makes me chase her. Making the first move and chasing is not the same thing. Besides if I would wait until a woman actually made the first move on me.... I'd most likely wait forever. A woman initally going after a man is highly unlikely, almost unheard of. But a woman starting to take initatives, call, set up dates after the man has initiated the first few times... I think or atleast hope exists.

[Guest]

It's not really that unlikely that a woman would make the first move, define " move"

[WildChild]

I think what Sidney is getting at, she can correct me if I'm wrong, is that women do all sorts of things to let you know that they are receptive. They may be subtle. Looks, touches, body language.

[Guest]

I think what Sidney is getting at, she can correct me if I'm wrong, is that women do all sorts of things to let you know that they are receptive. They may be subtle. Looks, touches, body language.

True. But it's not always so easy to pick up on those signals. And If I am wrong I might come across as a creep or a weirdo to her... maybe even sued for harrasment. So it's a dangerous risk to take sometimes. She'd have to be really obvious in letting me know she is receptive, not overly subtle. I would never approach a woman without a defenite sign of intrest, and if that sign of intrest is really just her being friendly and I ask her out or ask for her number? Boom... Sexual harrasment and off to jail for me.

[Guest]

It's not really that unlikely that a woman would make the first move, define " move"

How do you define it when a man makes the first move? I'd define it the same way when women make a move. In other words initiate contact, and ask for the guys number or just ask him out. That's taking an initative and making the first move.

[Guest]

I think what Sidney is getting at, she can correct me if I'm wrong, is that women do all sorts of things to let you know that they are receptive. They may be subtle. Looks, touches, body language.

Exactly, it''s not that hard to figure out, that is if you're paying any attention..

[Ashlee T.]

Hurley - Don't you find it kind of funny that you're getting so hung up on the fact that someone might have said "ALL men like the chase" when you yourself have made equally generalizing statements about women? But you see nothing wrong with saying ALL women are a certain way, or MOST women are a certain way. You find offense to someone saying ALL men are this way, because you're not that way. But you expect us gals who are NOT the type of women you're saying all women are, to not be offended?

In the thread yesterday that got closed, you said "there's no right and wrong" .

Alot of men don't want to be the one doing all the chasing, I guess you are an exception and that's fine. There's no right and wrong here

If you truly feel this way, that there is no right and no wrong, then what are you trying to prove? You're saying not all men like to chase. You're correct. Not all men do. Not all women like to BE chased. Some women do. Some women like to DO the chasing. The reason you're not getting the responses you want here is because what you're arguing doesn't make any sense.

The facts are this:
Some men love to chase women and find thrill in the hunt.
Some men love to play the dominating role, the initiator.
Some men love to be chased.
Some men love to play a more passive role in a relationship.
Some men love to find a happy medium, where both giving and taking is on more equal grounds.
Some women love to chase men and find thrill in the hunt.
Some women love to play the dominating role, the initiator.
Some women love to be chased.
Some women love to play a more passive role in a relationship.
Some women love to find a happy medium, where both giving and taking is on more equal grounds.

If we knew what your point was in this, perhaps it would be easier to respond. We have agreed with you that some men like to chase women, and some men don't. We have agreed that some women like to be chased and some women don't. We have agreed that some women like to be housewives, and some women don't. What else is it that you're seeking from us here? Please let me know.

And again, if generalizations are going to offend you so greatly, perhaps you should consider that when you're making the generalizations you've made on this board on almost EVERY single post you've ever posted. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. And if you can't take the heat....well....you know the rest.

[Colorado]

Bravo BD!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well put BD..

We can't generalize because we are ALL different....

Same as it's assumed Men aren't emotional? Really? Perhaps they were bought up to hide it...they get hurt the same way we do, yet people generalize on this .They may go all defensive, and make a sweeping statement then the woman get's defensive and states she's hurt, when really he had no way of communicating his thoughts, because he hasn't learnt how to do that, more women have, they just speak

And, as for never heard of?

How did I get my fiance? "CW hands him her business card after 2hrs conversation of interest" and says "CALL ME".....

Can't generalize....

CW