[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yay, that being that your getting out at least and you can read signs

I agree with JNS....what a cad...

[stressed]

Wrapped in a robe... classy...
Well done, you handled it great (AND went on a ski trip )

[WildChild]

Well, you now know all that you need to know about him. He may be up front about wanting sex but is definitely not someone you want to get involved with. An honest man would end the relationship he is in before pursuing anyone else.

[tesoro]

in our conversations, it came up that his ex-wife had cheated on him and he was crushed.

Then he said that after your first real love, it's never the same again with anyone else. That made me feel sad but I choose not to agree with him.

I asked him if he loves his girlfriend and he says, "What's love? Some days I love her and some days I don't." What the h#$$ does that mean?

[jns]

in our conversations, it came up that his ex-wife had cheated on him and he was crushed.

Then he said that after your first real love, it's never the same again with anyone else. That made me feel sad but I choose not to agree with him.

I asked him if he loves his girlfriend and he says, "What's love? Some days I love her and some days I don't." What the h#$$ does that mean?

It means that he doesn't love his gf, but some days he lusts after her. If he loved her, even in an open relationship, his love wouldn't be dependent on which day it was. Love cannot be turned off and on so easily, but lust can.

[tesoro]

Good point, jns...thanks!

I really hope and expect that one day I will meet someone special who will love me, not just lust after me on a good day.

I can see how young couples who have children together create a bonded love through their family and deep commitment (at least at the beginning in many cases), but I wonder what and how that love or bond is created between people who have had previously loved deeply and have been hurt?

Also, I don't know if age has anything to do with it, i.e., do older adults love less because of more experiences being hurt and therefore, they might be more afraid to really LOVE again?

I'm wondering aloud because I am thinking about the future and what lies ahead....a friend of mine told me there's a lot of "" out there and you just have to learn how to filter it all out.

[pretzel]

Good point, jns...thanks!

I really hope and expect that one day I will meet someone special who will love me, not just lust after me on a good day.

I can see how young couples who have children together create a bonded love through their family and deep commitment (at least at the beginning in many cases), but I wonder what and how that love or bond is created between people who have had previously loved deeply and have been hurt?

Also, I don't know if age has anything to do with it, i.e., do older adults love less because of more experiences being hurt and therefore, they might be more afraid to really LOVE again?
I'm wondering aloud because I am thinking about the future and what lies ahead....a friend of mine told me there's a lot of "" out there and you just have to learn how to filter it all out.

I don't know about anyone else, but speaking for myself, I think I love more not only because of my age (almost 52) but I use that as incentive to make sure I never forget how I felt when I fell in love and to never take anyone for granted.

[stressed]

I use that as incentive to make sure I never forget how I felt when I fell in love and to never take anyone for granted.

Well thought and well said.

[groupieindenial]

Aww, thats too bad. I thought he was first giving you non-threatening gestures to get to know you when he said he had a girlfriend. But he DOES have a girlfriend? WEird that he'd go on a ski trip without her. Know what I think? He is looking for someone new before he dumps the girlfriend. People do this so they are never alone. Bunch of cheaters. Bleh! Move on to greener patures girl, he's not good enough for you.

[groupieindenial]

Also, I don't know if age has anything to do with it, i.e., do older adults love less because of more experiences being hurt and therefore, they might be more afraid to really LOVE again?

I'm in my mid-thirties, and I tell you, I miss dating when I was younger. I do find that the older guys get, the more bitter they are. So I find dating very discouraging these days, and I think "am I going to be a cougar", but the young guys are just too immature. Oh well, I do have one thing going on, divorce rates are up for my age group, so there hopefully is a chance of finding one of the good ones soon