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  • UnitedLegion
    Junior Member
    • Jul 2011
    • 8

    So a bit of an update here. More confused than ever! After a few weeks of the trail going mostly cold, she started to come around. I had gotten over it, so I sort of treated her like a friend. But she wanted to hang out, so we agreed. She was texting all week. Wanted to hang out almost every day, etc. Very strong, and she wasn't really being smooth about it I suppose. So we go on a date one night and keep it real cool, not very flirty but we agree to go to this fundraiser together the next day. We go, and it's at a bar, and we start drinking. Things are going well, we start making out, at one point we're talking and she says that she wishes people would just be more real. For instance, if they like someone, they should just say it.

    A couple hours later, we leave and are walking to another party. I pull her off, and tell her that I do like her. She reciprocates. At this point I'm able to ask anything, so in response to the other questions, she said it was because she was seeing someone and she takes that very seriously (points to jns and Lorelei for guessing that one!). But she had always been curious and said she had liked me for a few weeks. It didn't necessarily get heavy, but we sort of started to frame a relationship. Like, she wants these things, I want these things. She also mentions (this is super cute) that she always acts so retarded around me but she's amazed at how I think it's cute. She also keeps up with the whole I can't believe how well you get girls, act. She says this like 3 times. But the big caveat here is that I'm leaving on this big trip in a few weeks, and so I mention that (which she was well aware of even since we met), and I said I know this is weird timing but I just wanted to let you know how I felt. She says that's great, she wants me to go and wants me to hook up with other people while I'm away, she doesn't want to put pressure on it. I'm totally in line with that and reciprocate it.

    We walk to the next place, stop drinking heavily, and are just sort of smitten the entire time. Holding, kissing, holding hands, etc. Like, feels REALLY good. When going home, I say I'm taking a bus, she says she's taking a cab. I say you're welcome to come back with me, she says I should go with her. We agree not to have sex, as to not rush, but we have a nice intimate night and fall asleep.

    The next morning she seems off. Not majorly, but somethings up. I text her a few minutes after I leave and say something sweet to her. Something that I think shows I like her. I then call her that evening, no answer. Okay fine, she said she's away for the weekend anyway. I call three days later. No answer. Text her to go out later that week, says she's busy all week and no more. Okay. So this sucks.

    Anyway, it's been like a week since all of this and I don't know what the she's thinking. And I don't know what to do. My guess is that she got a little freaked out, really does like me, but because I'm leaving and therefore unreliable in a relationship right now, needs time and space. But I don't know. Maybe I did something to her off but I really doubt it. She was pursuing ME all week, she started making out with ME, and she was the one who suggested we go back to her place AFTER that talk.

    I want to reach out to her. I have no idea how though. This kind of hurts.
    Last edited by UnitedLegion; 09-02-2011, 09:24 AM.

    Comment

    • Elanor-Jane
      Veteran Member
      • Aug 2011
      • 211

      She sounds emotionally unavailable. Sadly some women, and men respond to the cold shoulder (she may respond to the other guys lack of interest with more interest on her part etc)
      Her comments regarding you and other women are out of a mild jealousy that u are still able to have attentions from others even tho she can't/won't properally attach herself to you and perhaps a worry that she doesn't want to be with someone who has that many women hanging about.

      But like I said she's showing major signs of being emotionally elsewhere even tho she is physically present. I dated a guy, while trying to get someone else out of my head. The whole getting under someone in order to get over someone thing doesn't always work and she may be aware of this. Get on with your life if she wants you she'll get you
      If I knew where I was going I would already be there
      I wish I had more time. Judicious, beautiful, augmented, whatever.
      I've always been afraid to die, but I think I'm more afraid to live. (BC, SP)

      "I would go out tonight, but i havent got a stitch to wear!" Morissey

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