[seansylva2000]

I've been dating a guy for three years,my folks know him and i know his as well..sex for us is not something we sincerely look forward to...its just sex for us,sometime.s so gr8 but other times just there.Recently i got reunited with an old friend whom i almost had sex with and we've been having erotic talks...we plan on seeing each other soon,we seem to be dating already....i had a crush on him back then,he asked me out then but i declined cos i had a boyfriend.
I love my boyfriend but......should i just go ahead to satisfy my curiosity?what if the sex turns out gr8...sex should matter in a relationship,right?

[Mes T]

You need to break up with your boyfriend, right now. Get back together with him a few months, a few years from now, if you feel you want to. But no one should ever, ever "satisfy their curiosity" while in a relationship with someone else, unless you and your boyfriend have already agreed on an open relationship.

Sex is supposed to be good, yes. Why it isn't good for you and your boyfriend, I don't know. Maybe the chemistry isn't there. Maybe you're not attracted to each other. Or maybe your technique is off. There is nothing wrong with wanting to find someone with whom you CAN have this connection.

But if you're out to satisfy your curiosity with another man, the first thing you must do is break up with your boyfriend, no matter how hard it will be. Because otherwise you will end up hurting him in a very damaging way, no one deserves that.

[KMonte85]

the title of your thread tells me you already know what you're thinking about doing here is wrong.

You won't find the validation you're looking for from me. You say you're already almost dating this other guy, which if you're in an exclusive relationship with your boyfriend means you are being unfaithful.

If you're having problems with your boyfriend and want to experience something else with someone else, you need to end your relationship first. If you love your boyfriend like you say you do, you won't hurt him further by cheating on him.

[Ashlee T.]

Yes. It would be wrong because it would be cheating. It would NOT be wrong to end the relationship, then satisfy your curiousities. You sound very indifferent about your boyfriend and your relationship, and it sounds like it's time to move on whether it's with this new guy or alone.

[ordun'girl]

i wont be judgemental.....u know, i will always appreciate a good sex in my relationship, i mean exciting and crazy sex...lol and if u are not getting that from ur boyfriend, i tell u, u wont get that from him wen u get married. my advice is, cut off that distraction u are having now! have a talk with ur boyfriend, dont be shy about discussing it, explore ur bodies and if dont get satisfied, maybe u shoild move on....that old friend may be just a distraction.......

[seansylva2000]

thanks....but then leaving my boyfriend.....i honestly don't want to do that, cant i just 'eat my cake and still have it'?

[Mes T]

Are you joking?

At least notify him of your plans, then he can decide for himself whether or not he wants to stay with you.

Look a lot of us here have made mistakes in the past, and I have no doubt that some of the advice given here has been learnt the hard way, us making our own mistakes, and trying to save others from committing the same errors. But at the end if the day it's your life and your experiments. However I don't see the need to hurt other people - it's not all about your needs, there are others to think about. At least be honest with your boyfriend and don't sleep with anyone else behind his back. He should know. Today.

[seansylva2000]

Mes T...thanks..but do u sincerely think he might want me back if i decided to break off for some months wiv him?..Other than the sex part,he is a great guy...i really dont want to loose him.

[Little]

Do you think he deserves to be cheated on? How would you feel if he was having great sex with somebody else.

[rhiannon34]

thanks....but then leaving my boyfriend.....i honestly don't want to do that, cant i just 'eat my cake and still have it'?

Of course, you can do whatever you want to do, right wrong or indifferent, but be prepared to deal with any consequences that may come from it, like your boyfriend finding out, realizing you destroyed a good relationship for a piece of , not to mention how you would feel if your boyfriend wanted to have his cake and eat it too. When it comes down to it, you are the one who will have to deal with it. You don't need permission.