[jabooloo14]

Is it a bad idea to contact your bf's ex and ask them to please stop sending your bf pictures of them?


Because from what I know about his ex she wouldn't like this being done to her... So I really want to tell her to stop sending him pictures. I'm scared that if I tell her this then he will get mad at me... I'm stuck :/

[Mes T]

No no no. Worst move possible. The only person who should be telling her to do anything is your boyfriend, who needs to stand up for you, for himself, and for your relationship. If you do this yourself you will only degrade yourself. I think you should consider walking away from this relationship - doesn't sound like it's doing you any good. I remember your other thread as well.

[jabooloo14]

It's just I've never been jealous over anyone before... I used to think that I was the best of the best (yes I was conceided). I don't know how to get over it. And I really should trust him fully, he's really never given me any reason not to... I guess I think I'm not good enough for him and in my mind he wants something better...

We did talk about everything and frankly we almost broke up... He sees everything like I'm overreacting and I see everything like he's defending her... It's ruining us... I tried to make him see that... Really as of right now, I'm being as shallow as they come and just waiting 'til after my birthday to leave. I turn 21 this month and I'm not going to spend that alone, so I'll spend it with him and endure the pain until then. If me packing my bags didn't give him a hint that him talking to her bothers me by then, I will have to just deal with the heartache and leave him... God knows my heart doesn't want to...

I am just a very confused little girl right now. I don't know which to follow- my heart? Or my mind?

[Mes T]

Why do you say you'd spend your birthday alone, if you weren't with your boyfriend? What about friends? Family? If your boyfriend is the only person you're close to then that's another red flag, a relationship that isn't doing anything good for you.

Just read what you've wrote. You used to be confident, joyful, and thought you were the best of the best - and so you should! You should always think that. And being with this guy has deflated you so much? Why do you want to stay with him?

At some point you have got to re-learn to love yourself, and stand up for yourself. You're thinking everything is your fault right now, and not his. So he's broken you down to such a level that you no longer listen to what your inner self is telling you?

I know that it's hard for you to figure out what you want. But for an outsider, reading what you've been writing.. the choice is crystal clear. If your best friend, or your mother, was telling you everything you've told us, what advice would you give?

[stressed]

You're jealous because he is unable to defend this relationship, he lets her do as she pleases, doesn't stand up for you, doesn't respect you. It's not your job to stop this, it's his job, it's his ex, he allows her to step over the line and be disrespectful towards you. She would stop if he'd ask her to, but he doesn't. He's either a chicken or enjoys her attention and your jealously. Either way, this should tell you something about his character.

[stressed]

I don't know which to follow- my heart? Or my mind?

Your mind. Always your mind.

[LanaBear]

Based on your other threads, I have to ask... What exactly is good about this relationship? You've posted the question before, do you follow your heart or your mind? Most, if not all of us responded, your mind, follow your mind, your heart with heal.

This relationship, his specifically, just seem to be all too toxic and it is taking you as a person down with it.

[jabooloo14]

I know everything that y'all are saying is true... It's just I can't push myself to leave. I tried to leave the other day when we got into a fight about it. When he saw me packing up my stuff his attitude about everything just changed.

See my bf is like a little kid and it has always taken a lot of strength to be with him. You basically have to throw everything in his face to make him see the truth in everything. I just don't know what to think. Every time we talk about the ex thing he makes really good points and then I make really good points as well. I don't know...

[KMonte85]

Why would you want to spend your time dating someone best described as a little kid? Your boyfriend is supposed to be your equal, you should compliment each other. You should not have to "mother" your significant other, nor should it take super human strength to be able to stay in a relationship.

So his attitude changes when you pack your bags. So what? It obviously doesn't stay that way... I'd hazard a guess that as soon as he's sweet talked you into UN-packing your bags, he is right back to behaving in a manner that made you want to leave to begin with.

You are allowing yourself to be treated this way, you've made a choice that being treated like an insignificant piece of dirt is better than being without a boyfriend. You have the world at your fingertips, you could be happy. Why stay? You've mentioned your heart tells you to stay... does it really? What's up with a heart that enjoys getting broken time and time again, broken every time he gets another picture from an ex who he's chosen over you, broken every time your feelings are cast aside, broken every time you're treated like a doormat instead of a queen....

Are you sure you're heart is telling you to stay out of love? Or is there something else you're fearful of...

[stressed]

I just don't know what to think.

You know exactly what to think. You have to be responsible for yourself and protect yourself from this person. Don't expect anyone else to take you out of this, only you can do it.

You rather stay with someone who doesn't respect you instead of being single for a while? Why?