[CHANDLERS WISH]

That's a fear of every man whom has a woman who wants to get even but he has to learn to just start again, it's life and there is nothing he can do about it.

Here is the thing. He needs to sell his share of that business. And start fresh somewhere else, sell the house.

There is no reason why he should be having dinner with his soon to be ex-wife and soon to be ex-Mother-in-law, you cooking for them and her insulting you by suggesting that you are a housewife, not a business person.

She only stayed there once a fortnight to help with business and you are suggesting "used to?" so she doesn't stay there anymore?

She moved out from the house on her own accord I gather? She left... If she left, then in my opinion after a few months in realisation it wasn't going to go back together, then personal items should be with her so both can move on. It sounds to me as if, she is "ok" with him having someone in his life, but both her and her mother feel that she will be back in his life eventually, and so she leaves things there.

Yes, in Australia you technically can not divorce for 12 months after separation. And, one has to leave, I left my ex but I took everything with me.

IDK I still think irrespective, just let things be, this is a hard situation Divorce, the less stress the better if you believe he loves you then that's all you need to know...

It's hard because he's trying to keep the peace but the reality is she will take what ever she can if that is her nature there is nothing he can do about it.

[Elanor-Jane]

She had to be asked to leave. After it all came out the cheating etc a friend of my bfs was visiting from Dubai and said he wasn't going to stay in the house if she was there. This is what I'm getting at, she thinks she can do whatever she wants even tho she did the wrong thing by him, she still assumed like life would go on in any capacity she wanted it to. I wasn't cooking for her and her mum it was her and her sister and a bunch of their friends. I'm currently not in melb with my bf as first planned as her mother is there (she pulled out as she's sick) and he mum is such a shed grill me etc and do her best to make me feel less than etc. He wants to ask them to sell the business to a bigger company and he would still run it / be head clinician etc. He was in the navy bfr he studied to buy the mothers business with his ex so he doesn't have many career opportunities that arnt on a boat or overseas and he likes his life here now, no other clinic would hire him he's been the competition for 3 years! So hopefully they'll want to sell to a Syd company
She still stays once a month it used to b twice but then again she would stay here if she came here for a family thing too.

[Elanor-Jane]

And in regards to the stuff she has so much that she can leave it andnot need it. It's like she has a set of our "town stuff"and a set of Sydney stuff. That room could burn down and there would b nothing shed miss cos she has all the same stuff at her place! She asked me one time if I'd sell it all on eBay and shed pay me 50% if the profits. I wasn't working at the time, but studying full time.She wants for nothing and her time is too precious to give a about what others might need or want. She spends as she pleases nothing she owns has personal value to her it's just expensive stuff she could buy again lol

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Spoilt then huh?

So do what she asked, there is your answer go sell it all on E-Bay. Problem solved

Well one anyway.

[Little]

Problem solved, until she sues you for selling her stuff. Get a contract or don't do it.

[Elanor-Jane]

No way would I do it, it's an insult to me as she's basically saying I have the time but she doesnt I'd just be another person she gets to do All her for her I have better things to do with my time

[jns]

It sounds like there is too much drama in this situation. It made me depressed just to read about it. Until your bf stands up for himself and for you things will not get better. Are you going to live like this for a while? Maybe you need to get a PI to find out what is going on in her life to get her to back off. She wants to fight dirty so if you don't fight back dirty you are going to lose. I think she is trying to get everything from your bf not just her fair share.

[Elanor-Jane]

PI-- that's so cool! I wish lol I live in a very small city in regional Australia about 70,000 peeps but if it were like LA I totally would! Mayb if I still lived in Sydney that would b plausible.
I will support him as much as I can but if it doesn't change once the house is bought out and then the business sold (he's spoken of it happening for our relationship to improve and his freedom from them) then I will know it's more than him feeling at a loss for solutions at this exact moment in time! I just had to know that I wasn't being unreasonable. My mum has said that he will sort it out when it's possible and that she can see that he adores me and she's pretty militant feminist lol so if she knows he's genuine I'll just have to be patient I guess. Small victories have been mine this week lol so I'm not giving up hope just yet! Thanks for your concern, I guess some things worth having just take a little more hard work than others

[Little]

She had to be asked to leave.

Of course she did, it's her house. It's also her marriage. Present tense.

This thread is so classic, it's making me shake my head. It's echoes of every "mistress" thread we've ever seen, except that in this case the husband is actually separated.

You said in another thread he'd "hopefully" apply for divorce soon. Isn't the year up? What's up with the delay?

[Elanor-Jane]

You'd think he would have jumped to it but mum said he's busy (and I know he is, since she left he does two peoples jobs, never gets a break during the day etc) and will get it done once he has the time. I know they're not interested in each other, she's just bought a place in Syd with her bf, but I think they're both having trouble letting go of what the house once was. I don't want to live there ever, I've told him the only way we can live together is when I can afford to buy next year too. If I share a house with him it will be half mine. So maybe that's why it's stagnant here. He has said to me and I'm very sure he's being honest, that he just didn't notice any of it.