[Elanor-Jane]

Thanks you guys for your responses.

It's tough, you know? He came over last night and was very nice and sweet and funny and it makes it hard to imagine that he can be so mean. I'm thinking the best way may be to, instead of digging up the past and all that, tell him he deserves better and he should go find a new girl.

When he said those options I listed, I just knew that he wasn't serious about any of them except the "fixing it" one. He called and asked if I had come up with any answer and I said "Listen, I don't think I'm going to like sex and I don't think you're going to not like it..." and those were the only words I got to say before he launched in to a tirade. "This is about compromise! We're a couple! Are you seriously leaning towards--we should be looking for creative answers like maybe we could have sex every three months. Of course, in between, I'll need *other stuff* but I don't think that's too much to ask!" et cetera.

I mean, it isn't fair that I don't want to have sex with him, right? Man I am such a coward.

These responses are actually helping build my confidence though, believe it or not.

Don't u dare tell him he deserves better--what so when u finally get guts to leave he can go and do the same thing to someone else? He is manipulating you. He knows he has to be sweet and nice to be around sometimes otherwise he wouldn't stand a chance. You need to get angry and u need to work on yourself. This is just as much your doing as you've stayed with the abuse long enough for him to know he can keep doing it. It's called being an enabler. What have your family said? I'm guessing they've told u to leave (if you have told them everything-if they think it's an ok relationship it's because u haven't been open with them) if u have told them everything are they over telling u to leave as u just haven't? There is only so much other people can say. U want people to tell you to leave to make u stronger but at then end of the day u just need to leave and have a life with friends and fun and who knows u might meet a guy that makes sex so nice u want it all the time---or you can be a doormat. If u want to have a bad life stay with him. If u want a good life, take the above advice and change locks, ph number etc. Tell him your breaking up with him. Don't enter into argument. He knows why uv left him. If he insists on a reply tell him he is manipulative and ruining your life. This whole "were a couple thing" is so wrong. Just leave and the newfound respect u have for yourself will get you through missing the "good times" which were only fabrications of his to keep u submissive anyway.

[IceBox]

You sound exactly just like me a week ago.....Babes,Nobody can tell you what to do!!You have to ‘want’ to let go of this leech before he sucks you dry, literally!!I had been supporting my boyfriend for the past two years, paid up his car deposit upfront, when I didn’t even have a car myself to start with, thanks to his ‘charm’….Babes, it starts with the petty tattoos, then computers, then cars, then a house and got forbid you’ll soon be paying for trips around the world that be taking with his mistress since he’s given you an option of having an ‘open relationship’. Just like me, you’ve lost a lot of money in the process, but you know what??its better to ‘have lost’ than to ‘keep on losing’, cut your ties and free yourself from the mental bondage that he’s keeping you in. Release your wings and fly my dear, it has been 4 days for me without this leech, and God I feel like my life has just started now!!!!
Love is not supposed to hurt!!!If he loves you as much as he says he does, he’s supposed to help out, respect your studies, and also respect your body & feelings!!!What he is doing is abusing you!!I hope the day you wipe the dirt of your eyes and see the light; it (the dirt) would not have destroyed your sight!!!

[stressed]

Tell your family about this and get him out of your life. Study, travel abroad, save money, do the things you want, LIVE! Don't wait for him to tell you what's good for you, he ruins your life, he wants you to depend on him so you won't be able to leave him later on. You can leave him now, nothing keeps you to him. He's manipulative. Sex is the last thing that should concern this relationship, you can't be with someone you're afraid of.

Honestly, if I could I'd contact your family to support you and keep this guy away from you, or just show them your message. He's ruining your life. Every sentence you wrote shows this.