[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know, I don't care much for age difference, I don't think it matters it's the two people together that matters.

I would say though instantly this man had baggage and I think you have to go with instinct, gut feelings as not to get hurt in the long-run.

I say this because he is 60, was married for 19 years and on his own for 15, probably 25ish when he got married, his wife cheated on him.

You are 38, in 10 years time he will be 70, starting to look like an old man, you will be my age Still sexy You will leave him, he's old... He can't get into a relationship and at 60, he doesn't want another 60 year old. He's also been single for 15 years because she was his love of his life, she let him down and he doesn't trust, that's why he does it for company and then walks away when it gets to lovey dovey for him.

I think he needs time, not constant hassles over the book to forget this and be ready to move on again on this lonely journey of his, then he will return the books.

CW

[moviegurl]

You know, I don't care much for age difference, I don't think it matters it's the two people together that matters.

I would say though instantly this man had baggage and I think you have to go with instinct, gut feelings as not to get hurt in the long-run.

I say this because he is 60, was married for 19 years and on his own for 15, probably 25ish when he got married, his wife cheated on him.

You are 38, in 10 years time he will be 70, starting to look like an old man, you will be my age Still sexy You will leave him, he's old... He can't get into a relationship and at 60, he doesn't want another 60 year old. He's also been single for 15 years because she was his love of his life, she let him down and he doesn't trust, that's why he does it for company and then walks away when it gets to lovey dovey for him.

I think he needs time, not constant hassles over the book to forget this and be ready to move on again on this lonely journey of his, then he will return the books.

CW

I want these items back so I can feel like there's resolution for ME. The local history books that were published decades ago, and I can't get additional copies of them anywhere.

The age difference isn't a big deal. I was married to someone for over a decade who was over 20 years older me, and it was great for a long time, then lots of things caused the romance to fizzle. Nothing bad. My ex-husband was and still is a great guy.

And I really liked this guy. He's a nice guy, cute, doesn't exactly look his age. We have so much in common (political sensibilities, music we like, movies we like, enjoyment of travel, wine, attitudes toward life, etc.) I had never found anyone before with whom I share so much.

Yes, he married his ex-wife when he was about 25, but he told me "that was a hard relationship to get into" because he has always been indecisive. (I am, too--another trait we shared.) They dated for 7 years before marrying, and he married her because he had just graduated law school, was moving away to take a job, and was afraid he would lose her.

While she may have been the "love of his life," he told me he and I were more compatible (he joked politically that she was "probably a Republican," and we're both strong Democrats), he wanted to be close to me while we slept and told me had never slept with anyone before as he did with me (nestling/cuddling/touching), and he said sex had never been as "special" with anyone as it was with me. I was the first person with whom he had really been intimate in the past 15 years since his divorce.

[moviegurl]

finally got his reply...

Well, he replied to my FB message tonight, and here's what he said:

"My schedule at the house has been a little irregular lately. I'll gather your stuff up and get with you in the next couple of days about a time I can drop it off, or leave it somewhere else if you wish."

Yeah, right. Based on what I've heard from friends, he's spent weekends at home of late. Sounds like he's a coward trying to act the part of a "busy man." I have a feeling that he responded when he did tonight because he saw on FB I had checked just a bit earlier in a locale in town to watch the NFL game with some friends. Apparently, he has no life.

I thought, based on our time together, that he possessed a pair of testicles, but it seems, I have a bigger and much better set than him, despite being female. What a coward. For now, I have decided to ignore him for a while, even when he decides to "get with" me again. I just won't respond until I choose it to be "convenient" for me.

[jns]

Best not to play games and just cut it off completely with all of you things back ASAP.

[moviegurl]

Re: Why is he not responding, and how do I get my "stuff" back?

Best not to play games and just cut it off completely with all of you things back ASAP.

You're right, JNS. I need to respond in adequate amount time once he responds with information about retrieval. It's just that I was raised to be a Southern lady and exhibit decorum, and I expect the same civility of others.

And, geez, just a few minutes ago he forwards an e-mail his father sent him with political images and quotes. Can't he just leave me alone and not try to be friends?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No he can't because then he loses. You remaining friends, makes him feel he was worth something even though he is the one that initiated the ending.

I can tell you are angry And, I agree with JNS.

Keep it simple.

Facebook back with "one word" .. Thanks.

Ignore his emails. Keep doing what you want to do.

The best revenge even though I kinda don't agree with it, as in revenge is silence and ignorance ....

[moviegurl]

No he can't because then he loses. You remaining friends, makes him feel he was worth something even though he is the one that initiated the ending.

What do you mean? Is it a control issue?

[jns]

He doesn't want the anxiety and uncertainty of committing or the requirements of continuing in a committed relationship. But he wants to have some of the relationship as a friendship. Kind of like not wanting the whole loaf of bread but wanting half a loaf. Go to the grocer and see how that works. Yes, it is a control issue.