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  • DreamP346
    • Oct 2011
    • 2053

    I really think you are analyzing the situation too much. Just do what comes naturally. If you feel like asking her out, do so. Sometimes thinking too much kills the relationship before it even starts. If you are asking to hang out with her a lot because that is what YOU want, then do so. She will either be happy about it and respond accordingly or she will start completely ignoring you because she doesn't like it. Either way, its better than you are on the same page. If she is the type that doesn't want to hang out a lot with a lover, is that the type of person you want to be in a relationship with? Be who you are.

    BTW, many women expect a man to initiate all asking you. She may be waiting for you to do all the asking of dates. She may drop hints as to what she wants to do, but not actually ask you for a date.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

    Comment

    • KMonte85
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2009
      • 3303

      bill, I see nothing wrong with asking her out on a date this weekend, just the two of you so there are less distractions (kickball team, friends' conversations, etc).

      She still seems warm to your presence and appreciates having you around. I wouldn't give the fact that her friend texted you to come out instead of her a second thought. It doesn't matter, it's not a game, and if she didn't want you to come out she wouldn't have let her friend send the text. Obviously she was happy to see you when you arrived.

      Go with the flow... be yourself as you have been, but don't over analyze to the point that you over complicate what's going on and spend too much time strategizing and less time being the charming man she enjoys being around. Women can typically tell when this happens, and it is a huge turn off.

      So ask her tonight what her plans are this weekend, and if she's free, ask if she would like to go on a date with you!

      Comment

      • billsmith34
        Junior Member
        • Jan 2012
        • 8

        Quick update: I called her last night (3 days after seeing her last) and she didn't pick up. I left a brief voicemail saying Hi, I hope the rest of your weekend went well, let's catch up soon - give me a call".

        Didn't hear back from her that night. So, I'm assuming that this is over, and I'm pretty frustrated as I felt like I made all the right moves on this one. I'm going to see her in two days at our Kickball game. My gut says that I should communicate openly with her in person say something like, "Hey Jill, I thought we had really hit if off and I was dissapointed that I didn't hear back from you this week. I just want you to know that I have nothing but the most honest and pure intentions and I would really like to get to know you better".

        How does that sound? I'm open for suggestions.

        Comment

        • KMonte85
          Veteran Member
          • Oct 2009
          • 3303

          It's worth a shot. Ask her what's up. It's not over 'til it's over, or until you're sick of trying.

          It might just be she's been busy, or maybe there's something more going on. But it would help if you could talk to her, in private - away from kickball, the friends, distractions, etc...

          Comment

          • Hugo-B
            Veteran Member
            • Jun 2012
            • 957

            You have not necessarily done anything wrong here at all, there is a myriad of reasons why things could have gone this way.

            This is what I would do to put the situation to rest:

            Text her and ask her out on a specific day at a specific time, i.e., [by text message] Hi, would you like to come line dancing on Saturday night? Then delete her number so you cannot text her again.

            No reply = bad, delete her number

            Reply declining with no counter offer, especially if the excuse she uses is she's 'busy' = bad, delete number/message

            Reply declining but making a counter offer i.e., sorry i can't make Saturday, how about next week? = good, she has reciprocated interest

            In my experience when a girl is interested she'll make herself available or at least maintain contact letting you know when she'll next be available, sorry.
            "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" Julius Caesar

            Comment

            • Hugo-B
              Veteran Member
              • Jun 2012
              • 957

              Just to add, I don't mean to be an A-hole by saying what i said, I've had plenty of rejection trust me - I'm speaking from experience!

              If I were you I'd try and detach yourself from the outcome and just carry on like normal. I know what a sickner it is when things seem to be progressing well and you suddenly get the 'rug pulled out from underneath you', but a taste of the sour only makes the sweet (eventually) taste sweeter.

              Good luck, and I hope she does get back to you :-)
              "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" Julius Caesar

              Comment

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