[stressed]

What bothers me is that it's been over a year and he still has your phone number stored, which means:

- He's talked about you to his new girl (so she'd know who to text)
- He might find these texts on her phone if he checks it.
- He might be the one who sent them (extreme, but possible)
- She either went through his phone to get your number or looked you up online (if it's possible to find a person's cell phone number over the internet where you live). If she went through his phone, then this can happen again in 2, 5 or 10 years by another new girl.

It'd be a good idea to change phone number. You don't need to be reminded of him after what you've been through.

[rubyrage21]

What bothers me is that it's been over a year and he still has your phone number stored, which means:

- He's talked about you to his new girl (so she'd know who to text)
- He might find these texts on her phone if he checks it.
- He might be the one who sent them (extreme, but possible)
- She either went through his phone to get your number or looked you up online (if it's possible to find a person's cell phone number over the internet where you live). If she went through his phone, then this can happen again in 2, 5 or 10 years by another new girl.

It'd be a good idea to change phone number. You don't need to be reminded of him after what you've been through.

Thank you for responding. I can't change my number yet for business reasons but I see where you are coming from. SHe was very vague with her response on my question of how she got my number. She most likely did get my number from his phone which was shocking to me also because I erased his number a long time ago.

Trying to help her by answering her questions has opened old wounds and now all I can do is find a way to forget about it and move forward.

[rcoreyus]

It wasn't clear if he wanted play-rape, or real rape. If it is only play-rape and he will stop when asked, then he may have all sorts of psychological issue, but may not be dangerous. If his play blends into reality (won't stop if she tells him to), then that is a whole different issue.

[rubyrage21]

It wasn't clear if he wanted play-rape, or real rape. If it is only play-rape and he will stop when asked, then he may have all sorts of psychological issue, but may not be dangerous. If his play blends into reality (won't stop if she tells him to), then that is a whole different issue.

she said play rape but didn't elaborate on it. But she asked about weird sexual favors such as anal and asked me if he asked me for anything weird or painful. The she asked me if the only thing that turned him on in the bedroom was violence and anal... I assumed from that, that she was disturbed by it and that the experience was violent. She also asked me if i suspected him of being gay or bisexual... for her to ask that she must have some indication that would lead her to suspect that.

[rcoreyus]

I completely understand her being disturbed - many people would not want to engage in this sort of activities. My concern was whether he was just "asking" for these things and allowing her to say no, or if he was really forcing her. In the first case she can leave, in the second he is a real danger to her and others.

What makes the more complicated is that there are some people (male and female) who do enjoy violent play - which is fine between consenting adults. How to separate this from a man with psychological problems as a result of violence in prison is difficult.

I am really horrified and ashamed at the conditions in our prisons. I have a friend who spent time in a women's prison and while those are much less violent, rape was still a regular occurrence and completely ignored by the guards. Often inmates end up with the choice of joining the rape, or being raped.

[rubyrage21]

I completely understand her being disturbed - many people would not want to engage in this sort of activities. My concern was whether he was just "asking" for these things and allowing her to say no, or if he was really forcing her. In the first case she can leave, in the second he is a real danger to her and others.

What makes the more complicated is that there are some people (male and female) who do enjoy violent play - which is fine between consenting adults. How to separate this from a man with psychological problems as a result of violence in prison is difficult.

I am really horrified and ashamed at the conditions in our prisons. I have a friend who spent time in a women's prison and while those are much less violent, rape was still a regular occurrence and completely ignored by the guards. Often inmates end up with the choice of joining the rape, or being raped.

Yea I did my thesis on prisons so I do know how violent things can get in there. The fact that she went to a great length t get my number, make a google number and conceal her identity by contacting me through that number must mean that whatever it is is bothering her enough to seek me out, right? She asked if he was eve physically violent with me which strongly implies that he has been physically violent with her, right?

I do know from personal experience of how he treated me, that he is unstable and his moods can shift like a flip of a switch. His attitude changed on me in a matter of a day and it was never the same and that hurt and confused me more than ever.

[rubyrage21]

Because we live in a small town, i found out monday, that last friday his baby’s mother passed away. I dont know how she did because i did nit ask but it is sad. Because i thought that she was the one who was texting me base on what was said in her texts, i felt felt even more sadness, not just for her, but for her baby boy who has my ex as a father but will now not have a mother. i just knew that those text messages would stop. I was WRONG. I received yet another text message from that number. The whole thing is crazy. Now that I know its not his baby’s mother, i can confirm that it is someone purposely messing with me for reasons i don’t know. I was so enraged that i texted back and told them that pretending to be a dead person is pathetic and t go on with their miserable life and never text this number again. I haven’t heard anything else from that number since so i assume it is done with. I just thought that I would share this with you all to see if you agree that something isn’t right. I am no longer stressed out by the situation just completely baffled.

[Little]

It could have been anybody at any time - perhaps that woman was texting you at first, someone got her phone after her death, and they decided to "follow up" on the conversation - perhaps there were strange circumstances surrounding her death. You may want to look into her death and consider contacting the police in her area about the texts you received pretending to be her post-mortem.

[jns]

Have you thought of the possibility of it being a close friend or relative of the dead girl doing the texting? What did the text say? It would probably be a person who didn't know of her death if that was the case, maybe someone outside of the local area. I agree, messing with someone (if that is what is being done) when there has been a death is screwed up.

[rubyrage21]

It could have been anybody at any time - perhaps that woman was texting you at first, someone got her phone after her death, and they decided to "follow up" on the conversation - perhaps there were strange circumstances surrounding her death. You may want to look into her death and consider contacting the police in her area about the texts you received pretending to be her post-mortem.

That may be a possibility but at this point, i have no idea what to think. About how she died, my friends think he had something to do with it by causing her so much stress to the point of sickness or even possibly suicide. I pray to God that neither of those are the circumstances. I did hold on tot he texts but i hope it isn't any strange circumstances surrounding her death.