[oreman]

I think the healthier replies you'll find will tell you that nobody should "snoop" - snooping of course being a violation of an expectation of privacy. So if somebody is A-OK with their partner going through their phone, and nobody's lying about having done so, that might not be snooping and might be fine. But if you're not okay with the investigation going on, even though your girlfriend isn't lying about it, hey ... that's not cool.

Recognize that other people may require more openness than yours and it can be healthy for those people. Others may require more privacy (like yours does) and as long as everybody's on the same page, that's healthy too.

So, do you think that your need to hide what goes on in your male relationships is indicative of a lack of compatibility in your relationship? Do you expect her to never understand the line of thinking that goes along with the exchanges between you and your friends (you call them entertaining, but why do you assume she wouldn't find them entertaining?)

No, she probably wouldn't find them entertaining at all. She would probably be shocked, but that doesn't mean I am cheating on her. Half of my texts are from my single friends talking about one night stands, shallow descriptions of girls, etc. But, that is what guys my age talk about. I am sure girls discuss similar things about guys they are sleeping with. And, no, I don't talk to them about her.

The truth is, I think she will go through my phone no matter what I say. It just makes me concerned because I know from personal experience that when someone starts to get suspicious/throw accusations at their partner, it is usually them who has something to hide. We both have a wild past, and up until a month or 2 ago when we decided to be more exclusive, we were both dating other people frequently. Her snooping makes me feel like she hasn't completely ended all her other relationships (I have absolutely NO reason to suspect this other than her being nosy, if that makes any sense). I think if she trusted me more, I would trust her more too.

[Little]

Actually, that makes perfect sense, and as a (reformed!) serial cheater I have to confirm - projection is a heck of a drug.

[jns]

We both have a wild past, and up until a month or 2 ago when we decided to be more exclusive, we were both dating other people frequently.

What does "more exclusive" mean?

[oreman]

"more exclusive" means exclusive. I am not the best writer in the world.

[caster]

If my wife went through my phone I'd be ****ed and keep it locked in my car.
Not a thing to hide on it but absolutely no reason for either of us to go through each others phones, emails, web history, etc...