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  • Claret
    Assistant Admin
    • Jan 2011
    • 1823

    Originally posted by womanshealth
    Sorry I obviously havent made this clear.. So I found out about the other woman who he met for a drink feb last year.. we then broke up
    He then went home and messed around with another girl.. (who he got pregnant) after he had his fun with her and found out he was going to be a dad he then dismissed this girl kinda.. and found another girl.. while playing the pregnant one the new girl and me...
    Now the newish gf is no longer around she left after a month..
    and now im stuck.. I cant seem to get a grip and see this is all wrong. im gutted becuase of the amounts of time he kept wanting a baby with me.. and now he has one with a one night stand,.... jfeiosgionngfosj
    Does this sound like a reasonable, stable loyal, person? It sounds like a selfish child to me, he wants it all, on his terms, no responsibility, but he'll make you feel bad because of all the bad stuff that's happened to him. It's his fault, and you can either go along with his fantasy of himself or you can make a future of your own with someone that's stable and secure and would treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Give yourself the chance, not him.
    That which we forget may as well never really happened.

    Comment

    • Pollon
      Veteran Member
      • Nov 2012
      • 327

      Not to pick on you, but what is wrong with you that you are even considering staying in contact with a person who lies, cheats and abandons pregnant women and his child?

      I ask the question sincerely. What do you believe about yourself that tells you this is the best man you can get?

      Once your realize you are worth more than this, you can walk away and never look back.

      Comment

      • womanshealth
        Junior Member
        • Jan 2014
        • 9

        Around 2/3 weeks before the baby was due he bucked his ideas up.. Now he was there when she was in hospital.. The baby is now born and he is in contact with her. He has told me he's seen the baby a couple of times and she has stopped him seeing the baby. He won't tell me a thing about what's going on now.. He goes mad when I ask a q.. And in my head there's more than I know... I know they talk.. I can't stop that.. But I keep thinking that something is going on between both of them.. He keeps saying its all my fault an my mum for interfering.. She did one thing... He's the one who lied an walked out... Then lied even more... If this is his baby he had sex with this girl a few days after he walked out... But he's telling me he had sex with her the end of the month not the beginning????!!! I need help x I know you all mean well x

        Comment

        • jen1447
          Veteran Member
          • Oct 2013
          • 2380

          What kind of help do you really want, hon? I think the consensus here has been unanimous - leave him.

          I know it takes work and people can never just flip a switch when it comes to intense emotions, but your path is still pretty clear. You just have to decide to start on it. There's nothing left for you there with this guy.

          Comment

          • womanshealth
            Junior Member
            • Jan 2014
            • 9

            Its just getting worse for me now..
            He has now blocked me as he has said im causing him too much stress asking about if the pregnant girl is in contact with him all day.
            He has said its not fair on him and im killing him by stressing him out..
            I have told him that ive been affected massivley by not knowing whats going on.. in my head when hes not working and hes back in his hometown hes seeing her with the baby.. Hes still telling me the dates he had sex with her was easter last year but the due date does not add up.. the baby would of been due 3 weeks later!! and they have just got the baby registered,...

            Its hard to accept and just forget him.. Theres a lot of anger in me and deceit and hurt.. I never knew someone who could hurt and lie to me so much..
            He still has made me feel its my fault,.. and telling me im causing him too much unnecessary stress upsets me... im a very understanding person and I know NO other woman would of stood for what I have been through,.., but I just cant shake this off... It just hurts that he threatned all the time that he would leave me if i didnt have a baby..When I caught him out with another female staff memeber who he hardly knows he walked out... saying it was all my mums fault for accusing things (my mum knows this woman.) Then if the baby is his he had sex with another woman in his hometown a few days after he walked out..... JUST want to see it all... im just denying it...

            Comment

            • atskitty2
              Assistant Admin
              • Aug 2013
              • 4467

              You don't even begin to forget someone by communication with them and checking in on them...why are you still involved in any way with this person?

              Comment

              • CHANDLERS WISH
                • Mar 2008
                • 22440

                Firstly, you need to view your past. And really view it. For what ever reason, you don't feel you are worth enough. It's easy to talk, argue, question, put yourself through pain, anxiety, stress.. But trust me, it's easier, calmer, wonderful, to smile and say "pftttttt, you are not worth my time, I deserve better" .. AND with that knowledge continue on your "present" journey in the knowing the next guy will never lie, hurt you because you won't let him in, you don't have to, you are worth something you don't have to go backwards.

                You are right NO other woman would go what you went through and it's not about understanding, it's about being frightened of being alone, un-loved. You need love so you settled.

                Forget about this guy, don't you think that you have allowed him to hurt you enough? Why does he deserve to continue hurting you ? He's had his cake and then some, now he has to pay child support. He more than likely will get another girl pregnant as well, he'll more than likely end up with 4 kids to different women and be on his own because he's a player and NO woman would stay with a guy like that. Imagine ..

                Where as, you can find someone that loves you, for you, end of story and live a happy life, with your own children to your own man who loves and respects you and actually enjoy your life. Not like him.

                So which road are you going to take?
                PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                Comment

                • latina legal secretary
                  Junior Member
                  • Jan 2014
                  • 3

                  definitley get away quick

                  Comment

                  • womanshealth
                    Junior Member
                    • Jan 2014
                    • 9

                    I have just had a email off of his gf of a couple of months from last year.. saying to me she has been seeing him and meeting up with him recently and last time was night before nye..
                    Yes stupid me I did meet up with him recently.. then I find this out..
                    I thought he was going to sort things out with me.. but now I have heard about this other girl... I now feel like the bad guy as I have found out.. he has now told me he cant deal with it and how im talking to the other girl and tell her stories which I haven't really.. I have told him that if he loved me then he would of tried.. I need to accept that he does not want to know anymore and i just need help to stop myself from thinking and trying to communicate with him...

                    What can I do???
                    I know you will all say just delete his number.. its hard to i know it off by heart.
                    I just wish or want to know what he actually wants in life..
                    I have recently felt I am just something on the side.. which kills me as I was his fiance....

                    Comment

                    • CHANDLERS WISH
                      • Mar 2008
                      • 22440

                      I think that you should take time and read the questions posed to you on your thread and ask yourself to answer yourself at the very least those questions.

                      You don't need to know what he wants in life, you need to know that he is toxic, causes you pain and is not good for YOU. Who do you want to live for him or you? You are allowing him to hurt you, it's time to be strong and just walk with your head up and before you do, smile at him and tell him, "be careful of deceases, have fun, I'm off to find myself a real man"..... And WALK AWAY.
                      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                      Comment

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