[jns]

I can't imagine doing something like that I guess...I suppose if I was in such a state, I'd ask for my date to take me grocery shopping! Lol
But that's the practical side of me

With proper observation and compassion by your date, he should take you grocery shopping without asking or just show up with a bag of assorted groceries in such a case.

For the OP, is this the behavior he is going to exhibit after you get married, if you get married?

[atskitty2]

I can't imagine doing something like that I guess...I suppose if I was in such a state, I'd ask for my date to take me grocery shopping! Lol
But that's the practical side of me

[jns]

If you say something, you get the tables turned on you. Now your are the bad person for noticing or saying something. Of course, if there is a good explanation (such as the take home meal is sneaked to a sibling who isn't getting enough food or even just wants it), it should be given up front. Truly the food you are paying for should mostly be for the company of the person it is intended to.

[atskitty2]

Jns: You wouldn't have said something to a date when she ordered meals to take home? If she did it twice?

[jns]

I think my ex hubby told me he dated a girl who would order a meal for take home...lol. He didn't date her long, but also didn't say anything about that to her.

Yep. Not say a thing, just quit the game.

[atskitty2]

I think my ex hubby told me he dated a girl who would order a meal for take home...lol. He didn't date her long, but also didn't say anything about that to her.

[jen1447]

It takes all kinds ....fwiw if I knew a guy was monitoring the costs of what dishes I ordered, that would turn me off. (shrug)

[jns]

I grew up in an era where the guy was expected to pay during dating for the most part so the woman expecting me to pay during dating is not a problem for me. That being said, I would take a look at how she used or abused my generosity. If she always ordered the most expensive dishes and ordered more than she could eat, that would be a red flag.

[Stillness]

I'm tending to agree with jns. Money disagreements are one of the main causes for divorce. I can't imagine having them during courtship and not carrying them over into a more serious relationship. It just seems to spell doom for prospects for future happiness.

Unless you two change dramatically, you don't sound well-suited for one another. I also agree with Archer that dating a woman who expects me to pay for everything because I have more money sounds like something I want to run from. But at the same time, demanding that everything be precisely split down the middle makes him sound like like a controlling penny-pincher.

[jns]

I don't know any woman that thinks their guy being tight with his money in exclusion of her is a good trait. My parents are tight with their money because they came out of depression era times. They both feel the effects of the tightness fairly equally and both are equally tight.

Relationships where one partner is rich and the other partner is poor generally don't work unless the finances are equitable within the relationship itself. That being said, a lot of people enter in such relationships. The person making more money feels entitled to be the one steering the relationship and the division of labor within it. The person making less money or no money knows that they are in a disadvantage but hopes the other person is generous enough to allow them some dignity.

One way to even out the situation is for him to pay for the food when you two go out and you to spend your time and effort making stay at home dinners that don't cost you as much in money terms. It is not good if you are both sitting at home but not doing something together because you cannot afford to continue going to restaurants and paying half. I don't believe a race to the bottom in social life is a good idea for a healthy relationship, especially if it something you both enjoy.

I suggest getting a different boyfriend if this one is far less generous than what you want. I doubt that there is anything you can do that will make him become genuinely more generous with you. I would argue in a different direction if he was preserving capital because he was starting or growing a business that would hopefully build a more comfortable future for the two of you. I would also argue in a different direction if he was saving all of his money for retirement funds that would benefit the both of you.