[andrea22]

I've been so confused recently , me and my boyfriend just had our 5 year anniversary . Im 20 and he's 23 , I've known him since i was 14 so he's basically my best friend in the whole world . Background story : Our relationship has not been easy at all we've been off and on (we've been on for 3 years now ) , it's hard to describe our relationship but we've basically been through everything imaginable and somehow have always made it through . We started dating when i was 15 so i was really immature at that time , i wasn't affectonate at all , i would always talk to other boys and mess with his feelings . He tried to give me the world but i just kept messing around . Because of this he doesn't seem to treat me the way he once used to, i never cared about this until now . He loves me the best he can i know that for sure , but recently I've just felt so unhappy with our relationship . I just want something more and i wish so badly he could be the one to give it to me . For example he left town on my birthday and still has yet to give me a present , for our 5 year anniversary we did nothing to celebrate it even though he said we would . I mean I'm not looking for crazy fancy gifts i just want to know he cares . It's these little things he does that make me feel like I'm not special to him . I've talked to him about how i felt but nothings changed .

Now to add to the confusion . back when me and my boyfriend were broken up for a little period of time i met this guy from my school , he was incredible , he took me on the cutest dates that i swear where something straight out of a romance movie (something my boyfriend never did ) but most importantly he made me feel like i could be happy with someone other than my boyfriend. Things with me and this guy only lasted about a month until we eventually stopped talking . Recently i started seeing him frequently as he is good friends with some of my friends and all those feelings i had for him before just kind of came back . I guess the reason I'm probably still strung up over this guy is because he made me feel the way that i wish my boyfriend could make me feel . However today i found out that he too has feelings for me which just makes things all more confusing because although i do have some sort of feelings for him i love my boyfriend and i don't want to go through the whole break up process . I only wish my boyfriend could make me feel special like this guy once made me feel .
HELP

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think if you look at this in perspective, you were a kid when you met him and was never sure, how could you be at 15?

You've always made him feel that he is on egg shells So he's always been wary of a broken heart.

But he's hung in there. You have to ask is it because of "used to" or is it because he loves you.

You are older now and now know what you want to a degree. Someone else maybe just showed you what your boyfriend is capable of if only he knew your true love.

You are telling us enough about your relationship in order for us to advise you on whether it was puppy love and friendship only back then or him waiting in hope that you will realise what you have.

You also have to realise what a guy shows you sometimes is what you tell him is going wrong in your life and he does it to win.

There's a lot here.

So share some more

[CHANDLERS WISH]

bump..

[Baboy]

De-bump...

[andrea22]

for sure ! what else could i tell you that would help you better understand the situation?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well I wonder if you are mis-matched. He's got a different personality to you. You want someone to give you the World and share emotions and do things for you, make you feel special. So I am wondering why? Did you not feel that way in your up-bringing?

As you mention you were never really affectionate.

Do you feel that the guy who laid on the charm then walked away from you, "my guess is like guys that are young will say anything to win" you would give anything too?

But the guy you are with, you wouldn't be able to because he's not in your eyes "man enough" strong enough?

By the way this is so normal.. We tend to want what we can't have and not appreciate what we do have, when younger, I remember well.

Just trying to get a picture of "you".

[CHANDLERS WISH]

De-bump...

Bump means more replies please

[Baboy]

Bump means more replies please

I kinda' thought so, that's why I bumped again after 24 hours with still no further replies. But rather than just repeat "bump", I had planned to make it more interesting if no more replies were forthcoming. It would have read:

Aug. 31: bump
Sept. 1: de-bump
Sept. 2: de-bumpity
Sept. 3: bump bump

Just my juvenile sense of humor in action yet again.

[effy2014]

More replies, eh? In my experience, it is next to impossible to force a non-romantic man to be one. It is not a matter of love but how an individual expresses it. I am sure that the OP's BF expresses his love in his way -- but it will not change in the long run.

Second, staying in a relationship because you don't want the mess of a break up is not the best of reasons. If the two of you are not compatible or if you need the attention of a romantic that your BF cannot give to you, then change is essential. Relationship inertia will only lead to greater issues down the road.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I kinda' thought so, that's why I bumped again after 24 hours with still no further replies. But rather than just repeat "bump", I had planned to make it more interesting if no more replies were forthcoming. It would have read:

Aug. 31: bump
Sept. 1: de-bump
Sept. 2: de-bumpity
Sept. 3: bump bump

Just my juvenile sense of humor in action yet again.

Just wish I could say, derk wad