[grownlady]

Ok so me and my boyfriend recently broke up I guess. I met him when I first found out I was 3mths prego. I was away at school and We got to know each other for 3mths then we made it official. Things were good for a awhile when i came home, i was scared to have sex with him becuz he was not the bbyfathers but i did anyway, the morning after he made me his girlfriend, about a week later we were discussing marriage and he told me he loved me and i said it back.I met his mom ans already knew his lil bro from school, time goes on then I felt like he wasn't paying enough attention to me. I would let him know and he would say he would do better. Fast foreward. After my 6 weeks of not having sex because of the baby. Lately he been feeling stressed over something his name got put in in the streets I go over his house and we drink. Something that morning told me not to go over his house I went anyway. Something felt different when I got there i would usually pop the sex off but I didn't feel like it I was just suspicious of him cheating. I asked to see his phone he didn't give it to said I always wanna c his phone and he been doing this for a while now. But when our relationship first started he let me go thru his phone deleted all his old girl numbers. He falls asleep with his phone in hand I take it and go thru his txt seen two girls txting asking to bring them patron they can gt in the shower, he texting telling them gm beautiful the same he txt me every morning. I got mad woke him up and sitting on top of him asking him why u cheating on me he keeps asking am I rdy to go home I black out and punches him about 5x busting his lip. He got mad hit me back, I didn't put my hands on him no more becauSe I was scared lol. We go back and forth saying harsh words he saying he don't love me, we weren't movin in together, he don't care about me he got somebody else and so on. Nxt morning he rolls over and say s******t ********k up out here aint it? I reply no u ************kd up. we had sex twice I tried to resist but he held me dwn with kisses I say I hate u he tells me he loves me, then tell me he going to cum in me both times i told him ill smack him if he do. So on his way to dropping me off I ask did he mean everything he said he say no I was getting on his nerves. He say he is doing him. I tell him I love him just to b funny to my surprise he say it back. Oh yea while we were fighting he say u not goin see me nomore. When he dropped me off he told his friend on the phone this was our last time seeing each other with a smile. This was the weekend come monday he changed his number. I wrote him on fb telling him how I feel he read it didnt reply I didn't try to contact him after that he took my pic off of his fb so I deleted him as a friend. Its been two weeks I haven't tlked to him and I just want to know what do yall think? Will he come back? Now I may be prego idk yet

[calibri~]

Grownlady, thats quite an unpleasant tale. After all that happened you still seem to want him to come back to you? Honey, this guy cheated on you, lied to you, hit you and what sounds like he practically raped you...why would you ever want to see his sorry face again?
I think the best advice would be to move on and find yourself someone nice who actually cares about someone other than themselves.

[Stillness]

I just want to know what do yall think? Will he come back? Now I may be prego idk yet

grownlady, what do you want out of life- for your baby and yourself? Your problems seem deeper than whether or not he'll come back or if you're pregnant. I hope you're not, but based on how you're living you will be pregnant by another man that won't be there for you. Is that OK for you or do you want more?

And the physical abuse?!? Why would you beat on a man like that? That's not normal. Do you know that people are able to disagree, work things our or break-up without becoming violent with each other?

Do you know that a man doesn't have to cum inside you for you to get pregnant or diseases? You two are saying you love each other, but I don't think you're showing it - not between the two of you or for the baby you may bring into the world. Think long-term about what you want and what it would take to get there. What do you want?

Also...WELCOME TO WH! I hope you stick around and are able to contribute to and be encouraged to succeed by the community here.

[Maxximum Carnage]

Grownlady, thats quite an unpleasant tale. After all that happened you still seem to want him to come back to you? Honey, this guy cheated on you, lied to you, hit you and what sounds like he practically raped you...why would you ever want to see his sorry face again?
I think the best advice would be to move on and find yourself someone nice who actually cares about someone other than themselves.

Until she learns to care, respect and love herself, chances of change are scarcely slim. :/

[grownlady]

Until she learns to care, respect and love herself, chances of change are scarcely slim. :/

I know call me crazy dumb stupid or what ever I'm just looking at the good. I feel like if I wouldn't have put my hands on him we wouldn't be here. My childs dad is still in his life thats not an issue we just decided to break it off. Idk I really did love him ( the one im with now)I was upset that he played me time and time again I would ask do he want to b single and he would say no

[Maxximum Carnage]

I know call me crazy dumb stupid or what ever I'm just looking at the good. I feel like if I wouldn't have put my hands on him we wouldn't be here. My childs dad is still in his life thats not an issue we just decided to break it off. Idk I really did love him ( the one im with now)I was upset that he played me time and time again I would ask do he want to b single and he would say no

Reaching for an ad hominem has never been a decent level of communication, hence don't plan on using it any time soon.

Once a relationship gets physical where hands are being placed/thrown - no bueno. Just goes on a horrible rollercoaster to the point of no return.

But honestly, love shouldn't equate to being a loyal doormat to someone who doesn't reciprocate it.

You ought to be treated with the respect you deserve, and instead of giving him the time of day - let him go.

[grownlady]

Ok what about him changing his number

[Stillness]

I think you have your answer, grownlady. He told you you're not going anywhere. He wants to move on. I'd personally be afraid of you. I've never had a woman even hint at violence toward me.

You wrote "lol" after talking about how you beat him bloody. Do you think it's a laughing matter or that it's OK to punish someone you love by holding them down and punching them in the face? Is that the first time you got violent?

[grownlady]

Who said I wasnt going anywhere? And yes that was the first time and my last with anybody I learned my lesson! !! So should I go to his house and apologize, im not trying to get him back because I now realize I initiated the whole thing, im not sorry for going thru his phone but I am sorry for putting my hands on him. His birthday is friday should I get him a gift?

[Stillness]

I meant that the relationship is not going anywhere. He said he doesn't want to see you anymore. He has someone else. He changed his number and won't respond to your messages.

He probably does love you in a way that makes him care about you to an extent and have sex with you. It doesn't sound like he loves you in a way that makes him want to be with you.

I don't know what you should do. It sounds unlikely that anything you do will make him change his mind. Do you even want him after the way he cheated on you and rejected you? Does he have the kind of character that would make him a good father and husband? What do you need to end this chapter of your life in a way that leaves you with as much dignity and self-respect possible? Would an apology give you closure? How would he see you giving him a gift? As a friendly gesture or a desperate attempt to keep him in your life?