[just4me]

"If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't it never was"....

Listen to CW she gives very good advice, trust me I know

[CHANDLERS WISH]

In life, we all have skeletons in our closet, we learn from our mistakes, aim high in with our dreams and remember our one true love.

So the skeletons remain where they belong, the mistakes we learn new ones, our dreams should always be aimed high and our one true love can always stay in our hearts, until WE MEET OUR SOUL MATE....

[The Orbess]

Im going to say this, if I met someone who had all of this drama going on, I'd stay the heck away!

Bad track record, bad truth record, bad taste (no reflection on you honey) and bad future outlook...yup: Bad news.

he may want to turn for you. But a tiger doesnt change its stripes.

I've never been a big fan of "once a cheater, always a cheater"...but of he has a history of years as oppsed to once or twice..than thats just a red flag,

Let HIM chase YOU if you really mean that much to him.

YOU play the game, let him wanna be part of it.

-The Orbess

[Lostwithoutyou081280]

I have a problem

I kinda, joined this site after reading what happened to this lady. i dont know where to start but maybe someone can help me.

I"m quite young, never been married. Had one serious realtionship and many other realtionships in my life.

I've lived a hard life and i have a lot of issues with abandonment. I've been dating my or seeing this man for the past 8 months. We began as just friends, and we had both just gotten out of a complicated relationship with someone. We were there for eachother and before long and i mean quickly ( 1 week to 2 weeks) we became lovers... The problem was i fell in love. I never felt this way aboout anyone until this particular man. He was quite older then me however and the woman he was with he was with for quite some time. So i didn't expect him to cute off all ties with her right away it was human to still feel for her.

as a couple of months went by situation complicated itself as the ex girlfriend re made an entrance in his life. Apparently she felt as if they were still " seeing" eachother.. I ddidn't really say anything and he would confort me by saying he would leave her soon. Typical mistress is what i became. BUT since she lived far away in a nother country i was closer and was with him all the time. MOnths rolled by and i wouldnt' hear nything big about this occasional girlfriend.. or ex or whatver. Then all of a sudden he had a supposed fight with her and broke up with her. I was estatic( i know i'm a )... and he asked me to be his girlfriend... I said alright and we began to date.. but then the next day he said she pushed it all off and acted oblivious and chidlish and just pretended nothing had ever happened.

Now a couple of months later... they are apparently getting married, and he has no way o fgetting out of the relationship with her.. and that he is forced to this.. YET he sitll sees me and supposedly he " loves " me. I'm a pyschology student i know that either this man is very confused and childish and doesn't know what he wants or he's playing with my head. BUt if he was playing with my head wouldn't he have lied to me, and not told me the truth about everything?... PLease help, i'm hopelessly in love with him.. and i dont know what to do with myself.. i've gone everyhere for help and i'm praying i can get some form of help here....

Anyone...

[xrayeye41]

They are all correct. Run away. Run away fast and hard.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I kinda, joined this site after reading what happened to this lady. i dont know where to start but maybe someone can help me.

I"m quite young, never been married. Had one serious realtionship and many other realtionships in my life.

I've lived a hard life and i have a lot of issues with abandonment. I've been dating my or seeing this man for the past 8 months. We began as just friends, and we had both just gotten out of a complicated relationship with someone. We were there for eachother and before long and i mean quickly ( 1 week to 2 weeks) we became lovers... The problem was i fell in love. I never felt this way aboout anyone until this particular man. He was quite older then me however and the woman he was with he was with for quite some time. So i didn't expect him to cute off all ties with her right away it was human to still feel for her.

as a couple of months went by situation complicated itself as the ex girlfriend re made an entrance in his life. Apparently she felt as if they were still " seeing" eachother.. I ddidn't really say anything and he would confort me by saying he would leave her soon. Typical mistress is what i became. BUT since she lived far away in a nother country i was closer and was with him all the time. MOnths rolled by and i wouldnt' hear nything big about this occasional girlfriend.. or ex or whatver. Then all of a sudden he had a supposed fight with her and broke up with her. I was estatic( i know i'm a )... and he asked me to be his girlfriend... I said alright and we began to date.. but then the next day he said she pushed it all off and acted oblivious and chidlish and just pretended nothing had ever happened.

Now a couple of months later... they are apparently getting married, and he has no way o fgetting out of the relationship with her.. and that he is forced to this.. YET he sitll sees me and supposedly he " loves " me. I'm a pyschology student i know that either this man is very confused and childish and doesn't know what he wants or he's playing with my head. BUt if he was playing with my head wouldn't he have lied to me, and not told me the truth about everything?... PLease help, i'm hopelessly in love with him.. and i dont know what to do with myself.. i've gone everyhere for help and i'm praying i can get some form of help here....

Anyone...

Firstly, for someone has had to deal with alot of abandonment, good for you to study physcology.. Out of something bad, should always come something good.

Secondly, you were "pushed together" by emotions. That being that you both went through "abandonment" and therefore, relied on each other to get through it, a rock, but one that can break, or crumble in front of you and that is where you are at.

Thirdly, I don't know... Would he have told you the truth? If he wasn't "playing with you"... I think, he has his heart set unfortunately and always has had on this other Woman. You know, that if you enter into a relationship with someone who hasn't healed, it is way risky..

I think that he continued and she continued, to have feelings and somehow, they have broken through issues, all the time whilst he has been happy with you, his heart wasn't with you.

If, he heart was with you, he would be saying to her" sorry, you had your chance I am with someone I love".. But, he is saying" sorry, she made me?" You know deep down and I am truly sorry, but that is not true at all... No one MAKES someone, is she that controlling, does whe wear the pants, is he weak and vulnerable? That is the only way I think that a guy stays with someone they "don't necessarily love" , they need control, want control, seek it. As, apposed to the love staring them in the face.

Pose that question to him. And, pose a second one... " Is that what you want out of life?" If she ditches him again, where will he go, you won't be there anymore... Can he live without ever speaking or seeing you again?

Throw the spanner, see if it lands, or bounces.

CW

[silvertae]

Now a couple of months later... they are apparently getting married, and he has no way o fgetting out of the relationship with her.. and that he is forced to this.. YET he sitll sees me and supposedly he " loves " me. I'm a pyschology student i know that either this man is very confused and childish and doesn't know what he wants or he's playing with my head. BUt if he was playing with my head wouldn't he have lied to me, and not told me the truth about everything?... PLease help, i'm hopelessly in love with him.. and i dont know what to do with myself.. i've gone everyhere for help and i'm praying i can get some form of help here....

But it doesn't sound like he has told you the truth about everything! What is this bullsh*t about him getting married to her and "having no way out"? Is someone holding a gun to his head and making him marry her? He has free agency to do what he wants. He's lied to you the entire time about the seriousness of their relationship and about his intentions with you.

He's completely worthless and you need to sever him from your life. It's that simple.

[Lostwithoutyou081280]

so it's funny,
i just got out of the hospital. because the day i wrote what i did,
i realized how i was.. and how much even though deep down inside i knew he isn't going to be with me.....i couldn't leave him. So i tried to leave this world.
I drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and a new bottle of Midol .. thats about a lot of pills.
I had a cardiac attack and was saved just in time.. somehow by him....
but now.. i feel worse.. i am getting the help..,
but the irony...is just.. killer... anwyays.. thankyou ladies for ur help.. but i think.. now. there's a lot more.. i have on my hand then dealing with just htis.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

so it's funny,
i just got out of the hospital. because the day i wrote what i did,
i realized how i was.. and how much even though deep down inside i knew he isn't going to be with me.....i couldn't leave him. So i tried to leave this world.
I drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and a new bottle of Midol .. thats about a lot of pills.
I had a cardiac attack and was saved just in time.. somehow by him....
but now.. i feel worse.. i am getting the help..,
but the irony...is just.. killer... anwyays.. thankyou ladies for ur help.. but i think.. now. there's a lot more.. i have on my hand then dealing with just htis.

You lost your strength, just for a bit.. But enough that yes, you realise that there is a lot more, than just dealing with the situation...

I am really proud for one, of you that you shared that with us... That would have been extremely hard to do.

You shared your feelings and fell for a bit, and then shared more about you all with strength.

Be strong okay... And, know that people are here, we are listening and it's not that bad, truly it's not.

For every Angel in this world and you are one, there are other's just like you and the Angels you need now are ones that will put their wings around you, the Angel you need later, is someone that deserves to walk next to you, side by side.

Please come back and talk to us more.

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Please also read the Thread:-

"YOUR NOT ALONE" in the Mental Health Section where there are two ladies that have been brave enough to talk as you are...

Perhaps you should also write on that thread, and I will be mentioning this one to them as well.

As, I said, we are all here...

CW